It’s a combination of which we’ll never tire. It’s like peanut butter and jelly, like Abbott and Costello, like dicks and cumsluts. Timeless, really. And all it takes to bring about the magic is a deft handie, kind of like the one this lusciously be-breasted lady is bestowing upon her lucky man. All these elements are so complementary, a jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces fall right into place. Then get covered in cum. You know the kind!
Well, we probably love your smile too, but that’s not what’s really being showcased here. So we’ll just admire what’s right in front of our faces — and that’s one stellar handie. Oh okay, and also a pretty phenomenal pair of tits, but we can only focus on one thing at a time! And this hottie uncut cock splooging all over the hand that jacks it has sort of got our attention right now… We just need a minute.
Every dick is a great dick! There are fetishizers of all sorts of things — small cocks included — but when it comes down to it (or onto it, or onto the couch as it were), we like any body that’s naked. This guy, his babely broad, and his li’l willie all fit the bill, and they make a quite lovely naked, cummy picture together.
Don’t even act like you can casually jerk a dick, because you can’t. You have to think about relative wrist stiffness, lubrication, the angle of wankage, and that’s only a portion of the mental checklist. If ever you have doubts about proper handjob procedures, watch Krista jerk her man off. She’s a pro.
You know, we always did get off on that scrambled cable porn that would air late nights when we were home alone (or sometimes not). This particular video sort of brought us back to that novel, virginal lust of yore. We mean, it’s definitely showing a bit of that TV-style fuzz that was so familiar, but it also boasts the kind of tit-soaking cumshot that would have made us bolt upright on the couch.
Let’s hear three cheers, for the weekend is nigh! And of course that brings with it that herald of good fortune, that scuttle of sexy times, the lusty legacy that is Facial Friday. This is a cheerful bit of load-to-the-face, with a babe whose adorable smile and darling finger-giving pluck makes us thank our lucky stars for chicks, jizz, and moxie.
The similarities aren’t too far removed when it comes down to it: a sweet and tasty sheath hiding a sticky, chewy (..?) center. Okay, if your cum is chewy there may be some more issues at play here, but as far as we’re concerned, near any jizzload would be preferable to the crappy gum inside a Blow Pop.
Here we were just expecting to be treated to a beautiful handie; we were getting into the rhythm and enjoying the position of dick on hand on vag, when — what do you know? We’re thrown for a loop when that hand suddenly gives way to a vagina that starts jobbing all over this uncut cock. We guess it’s kind of like when an opening act plays before the headliner or something like that. We enjoy it; it gets us in the mood — but there’s nothing like the main event.
This chickie might not have much to say — and it’s not just because her mouth is full of balls — but we think it’s because she prefers to get her message across with her eyes. Words can be messy, misconstrued… But her eyes are like, definitely saying, “Hey, put all your dicks in me”.
That’s a land where we want to be. Imagine! Spanning the horizon one sees couples of all kinds engaged in some good ol’ hand-to-private-part contact: there are cocks clutched, boobs buffeted, pussies on the receiving end of some pleasurable poking. It’s an idyllic scene, albeit one that may be scattered with smatterings of jizz. We think that enhances the whole thing.
That Natasha Nice sure is a polite kind of gal -/ the sort you could bring home to mom ‘n’ pop. She’s a lady who would ask, “One sugar or two?” in your morning coffee, and wouldn’t bat a pretty little eyelash if you said one and a half. We presume she also wouldn’t bat a lash if you politely asked to cum all across her face. That’s the kind of sweetness we really get off on. And how! We could live in peaceful HJ harmony happily ever after.
This dude has got some pretty cool friends. And sure, everyone probably has their favorite boy/girl band style archetype — the cutie, the rebel, the thinker, the sensitive one — but we think everyone’s favorite has to be the horny sidekick. What friend group is complete without one? Not ours, to be sure. And yeah, maybe we fulfill that role ourselves pretty regularly… But that’s our wheelhouse! And besides, a pal who gives handjobs is probably the best kind of all. We want to buy this chick a friendship necklace to show our camaraderie.
You gotta love a chick who knows what she wants and goes right after it. And when what she wants is a fervid, face-drenching cumload? Well, our passion’s been unleashed like a banshee. But instead of bein’ all screamy as a prognostication of death, our spirit-lady will just quietly fap wherever someone’s about to blow a load. Yeah, we’re not about being invasive, we just want to celebrate load-blowing and long to be wherever one’s about to pop. Imagine! We’d be sort of like Santa Claus, but with jizz-flinging presents totally bestowed upon us. Yeah, that would be sweet.
My goodness, how we love being surprised by innovative handjobbing. And when you think about it, it’s only natural to utilize this behind-the-bro dick slicking position. Because superhard cocks feel excellent in the hand, yes, but a totally sweet dude-ass also feels pretty cozy nestled up against a wanking babe. It’s like a hand in a glove, a banana in a split, a face in a bespoke gimp mask. These are all so correct. And a palmful of jizz also works quite nicely as well.
We guess when you’re playing a game of pool with two randy MILF-babes there’s no way to avoid all sorts of game-related punnistry. Uhh… “I’d like to see you shoot your balls into my corner pocket”. Does that even make sense? We guess it doesn’t really matter when it comes down to it. Because handjobs!
We’ve been going on all eight cylinders today, and could use a bit of a breather. Nothing really calms us down more than a warming cup of tea jizz to the face. But seriously, if we’re talking about volumetric measurements and stuff, this is probably literally like eight ounces of cum barraging this sweet biddy’s pretty punum. Well, not really. But it’s substantial! And it’s enough to bring an enchanting, sparkling-sunshine smile to her face, emerging from swells of cum like Venus from the waves. Ahhh. This is just what we needed.
There are so many activities done better in pairs: riding a seesaw, playing catch, talking, moving a piano, brushing hair. Each provides satisfaction in its own way, but with the possible exception of brushing each other’s hair, we think frantic mutual masturbation is perhaps the greatest friendtivity. Shared experiences are what make the world go round.
Since we’re taking things all laid back today, we figured a nice, leisurely handjob would be a great close to the day. This handjob is the equivalent to swaying in our porchside rocking swing, enjoying a cool lemonade as the evening sun starts to dwindle, gently winnowing the breeze with a paper fan. And then we splooge all over the place. Ah, relaxing evenings at home: can’t beat ‘em!
Some people’s idea of a perfect wife is one who makes stellar turkey sandwiches, works a fulltime job in a power position, guides and molds little babycakes with a stern yet loving hand. Others, however, like a broad who steps into some heels, straps on a dick, and fucks them hard and fast in the asshole. That sounds like just the wifey for us!
