Hey Lady, BJ Us Next!

We did some experimenting over this past weekend and found that, yeah, making eye contact with the person you're bringing into heaven-town makes sexytimes a much more intimate experience. And that's a good thing! We're all hustling about in this workaday world tryin' to get our rocks off, but sometimes if you take a moment to really connect, you reach a whole other level.

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Diplomatic Relations At The G3(Some) Summit

We're pleased to see that Swedes have always been great at getting along with their international neighbors. That also includes stocky, well-endowed Frenchmen, and ladies of their own homeland, much to our joy. We're certain a good deal of global strife could be relieved if everyone just put their agendas aside, along with their panties, and just banged it out.

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Fisting -- C'est Magnifique!

We're going to generalize the entire French milieu (ooh!) based on this babe -- they're exciting, they're sensual, they've got a certain joie de vivre (sorry), and they really enjoy fisting. So much so that they squirt! They gush like a regular Fontaine de la Pyramide (still sorry), and we want to dive right in.

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Fuck Me Like One Of Your French Girls: Top Ten Amateur French Sex Videos

Ah, Paris. It's the city of lights, the city of love; its denizens effusive with the most beautiful language in the world. What is it that makes us romance the French so? It's all these dreamy, fanciful perceptions, indeed, but we also can't help but feel that these folks are known for getting down. So let's slip on some stockings, pop open a bottle of wine, and get our asses in the air because the French are coming. And coming and coming.

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Power-Fucking With Katsuni And Manuel

This is basically the same level as world leaders convening for the G8 summit, but with a lot more forceful thrusting and choke-play (we presume). Katsuni and Manuel together hold the clout of scores of leaders of the free adult world. And when their powers combine -- they create a 69 to inspire nations, a bang that serves as a call to action.

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Getting Cleaned Up By "The Perverted Maid"

Hey, there are worse qualities in a maid than being perverse. There's slovenliness, annoyingness, talking back, and sloth. When faced with these vexing possibilities, yeah, we'd take a pervy yet effective maid any day. In fact, as far as characteristics in people in general go, that's sort of a boon. Though they may be the help, we don't mind if they've got a little naughty streak and know how to use it.

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All Aboard The Threesome Express!

Now that's a train after our own heart. We generally like to spend our time on the rails lazing around the dining car oversnacking and contemplating the world as it whizzes by our window. But hell, we'd slap our overpriced cheese plate aside in a heartbeat to get onboard with this spitroast. It makes for a much more exciting sort of snack.

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We'll Take Your Dirty French Class, Katsuni

Although, well, you might not be the best teacher because we still don't know what the hell you're saying... But from the looks of it, it involves group sex and BJs, and that's a language we can certainly speak. Comme c'est merveilleux!

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Spooge On Your Glasses, Oh My, Oh My

Spooge on your glasses.. Oh my! We're continuing our two-week tradition of Facial Friday by indulging in the warming, streaky glow of a jizz-soaked visage. And this time we've got a fancy pair of specs. The better to see the jizz with, you know.

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Don't Mind Us If We Bang In The Hallway

Vive la France! Instead of Wonder Bread you get a baguette. Instead of nugs 'n' fries from Mickey D's you get a sophisticated bowl of moules-frites. And instead of fucking in the hotel room you just go ahead and do it in the hall. With the security guard! And if someone discovers you, who're they gonna call? Security? It's a regular triomphe.

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Jasmine Arabia (Explicite Art) 20120822expliciteart web

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A Foray Into The Idyllic Fucking Countryside

You know what they say when you reach that certain stretch of land where the hills roll just so, the grass is of an inordinate softness, and the shade of trees provides quaintly dappled coverage overhead -- "that's fuckin' country." This retro roll carries us to that halcyon ground with OG French fuckstress Brigitte Lahaie. Bonus: voyeuristic horses(?).

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How Many Dicks Can You Put In Anna Polina?

Oh, look! Anna's playing secretary, fucking her way up to the board room by, well, fucking the entire board, it seems. And all at once! Now that's the kind of go-get-'em gumption we like to see.

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A Slow And Sensual Body-Love Fest

We're connoisseurs of the nude form whether it be oiled up and getting stuffed hard and fast, or slowly pondered over, laden with languid caresses along every curve. Even in our debauched little hearts we've got room for some Enya-style snuggles.

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The Brilliance Of Boobs And Butts And Hula Hoops 20120523indie web

We're not sure who had the idea for a stunning French babe to put on some tight, tiny shorts and loose, boob-exposing tank top, then hula hoop on a rooftop overlooking a Parisian vista, but kudos. Kudos to you. This is on the same level as coasters with built-in bottle openers in the pantheon of great ideas.

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