This past Saturday, a most magical and beautiful thing happened: Stoya’s Fleshlight and James Deen’s dildo finally fulfilled their respective destinies and made sweet, passionate love on the AEE show floor. The resulting erotic energy was so powerful that, well…if you felt yourself spontaneously orgasm some time that afternoon, this was probably why.

We New Yorkers can’t get enough of this crazy wind, huh? First Hurricane Sandy comes through, then we have that Nor’easter freeze the whole place, and now there’s a bonafide Texas Tornado targeting our genitals. Actually, that last weather phenomenon was just for me. Fleshlight sent over the new Alexis Texas texture so I put it to the test (and yes, I do refer to my package as The Test).

In the future, we will fuck robots. Do not argue with me. This is inevitable. Think of it as a corollary to Moore’s Law. As computing power increases at mind-blowing rates, we will use it for sex in exponentially more creative ways.

The enterprising folks over at Fleshlight are giving fans the opportunity to put something other than their randy cocks into the goods. The gates are up, and Alexis Texas, Asphyxia Noir, and Kayden Kross are in the running to get their snatches forever immortalized in elastomeric gel. And the pussy to prevail is up to you!

For several years, Fleshlight’s been giving us a new way to love our favorite starlets with their Fleshlight Girls toy line. After letting us romance the likes of Stoya, Jenna Haze, Asa Akira, Misty Stone, and many more, they’ve opened their arms to a delightful new addition to the Fleshlight Girls family: Kelly Shibari, who just so happens to be the first BBW performer to be granted her very own Fleshlight.

Fleshlight already boasts an impressive bunch of masturbation sleeves painstakingly modelled after pornstar body parts, but people–eternally aroused people–are always wondering which babe will next go under the plaster. Wonder no more, horny masses, because Nina Hartley went to Texas to duplicate her orifices for your wanking pleasure!

We don’t know how Tanya Tate’s pussy was made, but we suspect magic was involved. Anyway, we can tell you how Tanya Tate’s pussy was made into a Fleshlight! Of course, it’d be more fun to show you how it’s done, so here’s a video that Tanya Tate made on her visit to Fleshlight HQ in Texas.

Fleshlight’s latest addition to their big family of masturbation sleeves is Flight: a short, sleek, attractive departure from their usual “It’s a flashlight for your dong!” style. The insides have been changed a little, too. All these advances are so impressive! They make it all the more painful to say that this toy couldn’t even get me off.

Fleshlight just offered Lindsay Lohan $1 million to let them take and distribute molds of her mouth, vagina, and ass. While we hope that Fleshlight doesn’t go the way of Vivid and start offering naughty deals to any woman caught in a public scandal, we feel like their heart is

We know what you’re thinking: “It’s almost Halloween, and I have yet to have sex with any undead, reanimated, extraterrestrial, or cybertronic vaginas!” Don’t worry, Fleshlight has you covered with their new Freaks series. They might just be the most horrifying things I’ve ever penetrated, and I might have really

The list of Fleshlight Girls was looking a little Ameri-centric, so the company decided to diversify their wares with a hot new roster of Europorn babes. The most surprising lady on the list: Ariel. Yes, the Ariel we ogle on a regular basis. In addition to this glamorous redhead, you

In the perfect world, this Fleshlight would honor Wesley Snipes’s role as a vampire-killing vampire. In reality, the Blade is a new Fleshlight with a soft, flexible case that allows you to squeeze your junk. That’s pretty cool! To an extent! If I could have Facebook page with my new

“Mainstream” is a funny word. To those in the indie crowd, it indicates a project that has the funding of big studios and corporations. To Sarah Palin, it indicates anyone in the news media who doesn’t agree with her. And then, of course, there are the people of Porn Valley,

If you haven’t heard, there’s a bit of buzz brewing on Twitter about getting Fleshlight to make a Camille Crimson mold, and we think that’s a fantastic idea. Get that woman some plaster, stat! And while we’re at it, here are some other ladies who deserve their orifices commemorated. And

Just a few days ago, we informed you that Asa Akira was going to be one of the new faces orifices of the Fleshlight Girls line. Of course, in order to have her lady parts (and other parts) eternally preserved in cyberskin, Asa had to head to Austin (home of

If you’ve ever dreamed of having sex with Lisa Ann and Asa Akira (and let’s be real here: who hasn’t?), then rejoice: you’re one step closer to engaging in a strange imitation of sex with these two lovely ladies, via the efforts of the one and only Fleshlight. Yes, both

It’s not as if we’re famous for being particularly clever or high-brow at Fleshbot. Most of our jokes are on the level of a thirteen-year-old boy, actually. But this Fleshlight commercial really made our inner “American Pie” fan giggle. We just can’t resist a bit of excessively literal humor. Maybe

Hey everyone, Tori got a package! No, the mail kind of package, not the male kind. What could it be? Oh, just her box, in a box. Luckily for us, she’s letting us discover her Fleshlight along with her. Tori walks us through the steps to putting together her vagina,

Leave it to Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Stoya to take cyberskin molds of her ass and pussy and make a video that’s just downright…adorable. We don’t know how she does it, but we fricking love her for it. (Stoya’s Fleshlight)

3D smut is aight, but if you really want a truly immersive experience, you need to pair your porn with thematically appropriate Fleshlights. Case in point: “The Ultimate Alien Fantasy” with “This Ain’t Avatar XXX” and the new Alien Fleshlight. There’s been quite a lot of hype around this movie,