If you had a beautiful house in the countryside, wouldn’t you fill it will gorgeous femme dommes and slaves in perfect fetish gear? And if you were playing in your home in the countryside, wouldn’t you put on a show on the off-chance that someone in a cowboy hat was lurking around your property and peering in through the window?

Charles Darwin theorized that the mirth and giggling associated with tickling is provoked by the anticipation of pleasure, but for millions of people, tickling is the main course of carnal delights. Today we’re taking a look at all the magical things that can be done with fingertips and feathers, and how such a simple, universal act works in the realm of sex.

Hell to the yes, folks, it’s May, and you know what that means: it’s National Masturbation Month! We know you don’t want to constrict your self-loving to thirty-one days, and we don’t want you to; all we’re asking is that you think about masturbation really hard this month. Think to the point where masturbation loses all meaning and you have to build your wanking routine up from the ground!

Every time we bring up the word “real” in relation to porn, we get bogged down in authenticity vs. replication and eventually land in the kind of confusion produced by watching “The Matrix” trilogy. That won’t happen here. Reality porn is essentially more gonzo, not in the arena of hardcore acts, but in the portrayal of and appeal to what actually happens in the world. It’s porn that could happen to you (although it actually can’t)!

Remember that groovy print of Bobbi Starr in 3D? Feeling bummed you didn’t get it? Then perhaps you’d be happier to know that Akirophoto just opened up a shop on Etsy. You’ll find babes in latex, engaged in pony play, wearing dildo masks, and yes, even some in 3D!

Yeah dudes, that SyFy network knows how to sneak the sexy in wherever possible, and we’re not just talking about the sideboob seen through Mia Kirshner’s apron, or the spherical cleavage of Jaime Murray. We’re talking about this new neat fetish we’ve just been exposed to: sensual skillet torture. Watch and learn.

Though many choose to call it facesitting for the directness of the term, we’ve always preferred the elegance of queening and the royal connotations it brings with it. There’s power in the word, as if a trump card is being laid on top of your deck, and even the lowly face becomes a throne for a special someone.

If you’re worried that there’s not enough nudity on TV right now, worry no more! Netflix just premiered a surreal and sexy horror series called “Hemlock Grove,” and the first episode alone is kinked out the pink. Here’s Bill Skarsgard (yes, Alexander’s brother) getting banged in a car while playing with his own blood.

We mentioned dehumanization as a facet of D/s relationships in an earlier encyclopedia entry, but we didn’t give it the focus it deserves at the time. Now that we’ve landed on the letter P, it only seems appropriate that we pay homage to those humans who like to literally unleash the sexy beasts within them.

If you got a bunch of actual clowns to make a porn movie in 1985, “Clown Porn: The Parody” is the movie they’d make.

Seriously, these guys have everything under the sun to make a real underground kink party special. Upside-down hanging chains? Flogs and whips of all sizes? Dildos of every color and caliber? A punishment rack? It’s like they’ve got a mini Kink armory in their basement… and we’d love to play!

Bizarre UK posted a basic introduction to pony play a while ago (courtesy of Rebecca Wilcox’s book, “The Human Pony”) with a lovely bunch of photos to help make concepts clear. What we didn’t see were the hand-drawn illustrations that Ben Newman did for the article. Fortunately, the artist posted his drawings on his personal blog, and they’re equal parts hot, informative, and hilarious!

TorrentFreak recently posted a list of pirated files being downloaded in the Vatican, and guess what? Somebody in the Vatican City is downloading a bunch of BDSM smut! We bet you’re wondering what kind of porn they like in the Holy See, so we took it upon ourselves to figure out the meanings behind those file names. We don’t think we’ve ever felt closer to the Catholic Church than we do right now.

We here at Fleshbot work in what you might call a “non-traditional” office setting where it’s common to hear two colleagues discussing the qualities of their orgasms (oh, and there’s porn stacked on every available surface). Most of the working world deals with stuffy cubicles, serious attire, and strict rules of professionalism–all of which makes for some great sexual tension and fertile soil for office-based pornography!