· Via Fashionising (fashionising.com)

We love the Eiffel tower on Candice Swanepoel, because it makes us think of the Eiffel tower as an enormous vagina looming over the people of Paris. We do sort of wish the tower were upsidedown so we could imagine it as a V laying across Candice Swanepoel’s vagina. And then we could imagine Candice Swanepoel’s vagina as an enormous vagina taking over Paris!

So Karlie Kloss is just wearing normal relaxed outfit like the rest of us mortals until she strips her mom jeans off to reveal the lingerie-clad vixen beneath and then dons a pretty pretty sundress, becoming a feminine ladyface again. Because gender is just a performance, or so we overheard at a party last night.

Sometimes when you tear off someone’s clothes you’re really hoping to find some brightly-colored exciting underpants, but hey, if it’s Barbara Palvin’s clothes you’re tearing off we’re betting you won’t mind the muted coverage.

Can’t nobody tell Rhana da Rocha how to dress. Yes, she is a model, and she has to wear fancy fashion items in order to make a living, but she’s free to wear things how she pleases. If she want to use a purse as a bra, she can; if she wants to wear her jacket backwards and show her ass off, then her buns shall be chilly. That shall be righteously chilly.

What does it take to make a sexy spread such as this? Not much: some dramatic makeup, a woman in charge of her own body, a few gestures that signify independence while also suggesting an absurd damsel-in-distressness. Eliza Sys could probably get in a sexy state no matter what she’s up to, but this gallery is over the top hot thanks to a special secret ingredient: Pierre Dal Corso!

Well, if part of the idea of a greenhouse is to grow delicate plants in controlled environments, then it stands to reason that perfect babes could be cultivated in special gardens. Wouldn’t it be great to have carnivorous plants that looked like the ladies in this picture? Imagine them growing from inside a blooming bud! When they reach maturity, the bud will bloom and a lovely flowery seductive slut will emerge!

It’s Saturday evening, so we know you’re in the mood for some hip-hop pole gyrating. Also Dorothy Bohner feeling herself and being generally really sexy in a sexy car. And a sexy parking lot. Also what little clothing Dorothy is wearing is see-through, so there’s that. Do not try to interrupt Dorothy performing her important sensual ritual or tease her about her last name, because she will cut you with those shoes.

You know when you have a projector screen and you are trying to pull it down from the ceiling and you already have to balance a stack of hardcover rare comics on top of a kitchen chair and still stand on your tip-toes because you’re sooo short and all of your friends that came over to watch Drag Race on your fancy projector are also all really short and you can’t quite figure out how to pull the screen down just right to keep it from catching or collapsing completely and you stand there like an awkward ballerina getting more and more frustrated? Maybe you should have just invited naked models over to project onto instead. Problem solved.

Truth be told, her steely gaze doesn’t make us feel all that welcome (nor does her Steely Dan), but those marvelous nipples of hers are skeleton keys that flip all the pins and shake every tumbler in our hearts. You could say that we’re suckers for puffy nipples, but that wouldn’t be quite right. We’re suckers of puffy nipples, ideally.

You know when you just need something to wear whilst lounging around your little doll house that’s been built on the beach? We think we have the solution for you!

Technically you never see Karlie Kloss and her boobs together in one shot of this video. Luckily we have plenty of evidence that this is what her boobs actually look like. We are nipple experts, and we can tell you just from the excited reaction they produce on our pants that these nipps definitely belong to the one and only Kloss. Besides, why would you get a body double if you’re built like Karlie Kloss?

You can tell Marsida is magic – maybe even a spirtual faery warrior princess – by the weird witchy things she’s doing with her arms. And by her alternating between a jeweled headband and strange animal headgear. And the fact that being outside laying on a rock makes her want to touch herself.

Don’t think about it too much, just say what comes to mind at first glance. What do you see in the first image? Tits? Very good, try the next one. Breasts again, uh huh. And the next one? Funbags. Do you mean bean bags? No. Still boobs. Tell us, how would you like to spend a week in observation in a nice hospital outside of town?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could see in the dark and the only thing you could see was Sarah Stephens staring seductively at you and suggestively rubbing a metal pole and writhing about in her panties? Yes. Yes it would be great.

OMG, be still our hearts, we do so love seeing nipples pressed down ever so subtly by transparent material. Almost as much as we love seeing butts lounging on the couch (and the babes attached to the butts and nips of course of course).

It’s Polaroid appreciation weekend at Fleshbot, and we swear it’s not an endorsement, cuz you can’t even buy that shit anymore, right? Polaroids harken back to a time when you could take a sexy picture and there was no chance of it ending up on your Facebook wall. There’s something so illicit about the lack of depth of field!

Weronika Potocka, we feel you. It is time for Spring to sprung already. We’ve been going outside in just a light coat for weeks now, as if we can WILL winter to melt away. But we haven’t thought yet about trying to walk naked through the snow.

The allure of gaining access to the women’s locker room is not new. But now, thanks to these Polaroids, instead of gazing through a peep-hole like the little pervert voyeur you are, you can just walk around freely and take in all the hot bare flesh of Lauren Young and Kelley Ash as they relax after a sweaty workout.

These are exciting times. Let’s say you’re a musical artist and you are making a video. If it was the 90′s, you’d have to get a contract with MTV and a huge budget, you’d have to come up with drug euphemisms instead of showing actual illegal drug use, and, most importantly, you could not show BOOBS. Now all you need is a decent camera and vimeo and plus you can totally show weed and BOOBS IN YOUR VIDEO. Also near nudity and some very sexy undulations.