Gosh, it sure didn’t take long for us to fall in love with Laura Haddock, did it? One minute she’s dressed all fiery and topless on “Da Vinci’s Demons,” and the next she’s telling jokes and showing off her insanely sexy legs for Esquire. She’s been in quite a few movies and TV shows on the other side of the pond, but now that she’s in American homes and hearts, Laura Haddock is a big deal. It makes us feel kind of proud!

And we swear this isn’t aimless American pride. Even Laura says there’s something serious about working on this side of the world: “I think the sound of an American accent makes everything suddenly feel really professional. We’ve got to be making something pretty big because there’s an American involved!” Yes, and that something pretty big is you, Laura! Uh, not that you’re big size-wise, but you are pretty, although nobody made you, except your parents.

Anyway, how about them legs?

· See more of Laura (and a few jokes) at Esquire (esquire.com)

And unless we’re improperly reading her body language, it seems like she wants to show us extra cleavage. The deep plunge on the jumper, the hand poised at the edge of her swimsuit, the tongue licking her teeth–what else could these things say?

Maybe Alison Brie has a unique kind of body language, or maybe the language of cleavage is entirely different. For all we know, she could be asking us to help her find good car insurance and here we are staring at her boobs. That’s why unclassy folk like us will never write for (or be allowed to take pictures of Alison Brie for) Esquire.

· Via Reddit (reddit.com)

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Did they? Did editors at a powerful men’s periodical not look at Jaime Lee Kirchner’s torso to check if anything softcore could be seen? Did they deliver us this piece of rising TV starlet boob without thinking about it? No. How quickly we forget that there are no such things as accidents when it comes to nipples.

Jaime Lee Kirchner–whom you might know from “Mercy,” “Just Legal,” or the new series “The Mob Doctor” on Fox–is too damn foxy to have her mesh shirt overlooked by the people of Esquire. Sure, they spend all day looking at hot women, but so do we, and we know that you can’t get desensitized to nudity, you get eagle eyed.

· Esquire (esquire.com)
· Via The Nip Slip (thenipslip.com)

[Celeb Coverage Sponsored by Mr Skin. Click here to see even more of the top celebs nude!]

Word.

Fine, more words. Did you know that Esquire just dubbed Miranda Kerr this year’s sexiest woman alive? It’s true, they celebrated by taking a bunch of fine photos of this foxy female, and while we’ve long been acquainted with her beauty, we’ve never had a chance to groove upon her booty.

And so, let us groove together as we admire the shape and squeezability of Miranda Kerr’s derriere.

· Via In The Raw (itr2010.org)

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Esquire UK coughed up a few preview photos of Rihanna looking all topless and sexy, and nobody is surprised. We, however, are surprised that we keep having to mention that Rihanna is topless. Can we just say “Rihanna” and you can assume the rest? It would save us time.

Anyway, as hot as these photos are, we’re sure that the ones that make it into the magazine are going to be ten times as steamy. And maybe a month later, we’ll get to see the behind the scenes pictures! We have high hopes. Her BTS stuff has a way of being, shall we say, nipple-y.

· Esquire UK (esquire.co.uk)

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We always thought the concept behind these Me In My Place shoots was that we get to see young starlets doing what they normally do, in their normal, cozy undies, in their luxurious abodes. So, for real, is Hannah Simone suggesting that she likes to unwind by wearing some insanely fabulous gold sequined short-shorts? Because if that’s the case, we are trying to put a ring on it.

Other reasons to put a ring on Hannah Simone’s finger: she used to work for the United Nations and later decided that the best way to reach the youth about important topics was through mediums they understood, so she became a VJ. Brains, beauty, and shiny underwear? How is this girl not married already?

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

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What more do you want in a girlfriend? We’re not saying you have a chance with Carly Craig any time soon (although we could be wrong); all we’re saying is that Carly is a good rubrik by which to judge potential love interests in the future. Fact: you should only date people who can orgasm like Judy Garland.

Of course, she has many other interesting qualities as well! She’s gorgeous, she wears thongs around the house, she’s a comedian, and she even works with kids! Well, sort of. According to Carly’s interview with Esquire, she was supposed to speak at her niece’s school about following your dreams and stuff like that, but then the teachers Googled her and “Judy Garland Orgasm” came up. That was the end of that.

· See more photos at Esquire (esquire.com)

That’s what we’ve been told. There was a tournament, people voted, Sara won, so as far as we know, all is just with the world. But yo, SJU was on G4TV and spends a lot of time dressed up in sexy “Star Wars” outfits; so we feel like she has an unfair advantage. Let’s take this to the next level. We’re the Supreme Court of Sexy, and we’re going to examine the evidence, courtesy of Esquire and Me In My Place.

You know, it’s hard to argue with this photoshoot. Sara knows all the moves, all the poses, and she is quite skilled at showing off her pokey nipples and underboob. We rule in favor of Esquire; Sara Jean Underwood is indeed the hottest woman of 2012. Let’s have 2013 start tomorrow.

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

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With “The Hunger Games” now a huge box office hit, Jennifer Lawrence is practically a household name, so it’s not too surprising that we’re seeing sexy pictures of her in both Rolling Stone and Esquire. However, we weren’t prepared to love each spread equally. What do we do now?

More importantly, how does she do it? If we were going to look all steamy and slinky on camera, we’d have enough energy to be hot for one magazine. Jennifer Lawrence just did two of them–three if you count this picture of her cleavage, which we do. How does she have the energy? Could there be a second Jennifer Lawrence running around? If so, can we have a spare Jennifer, too?

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ABC’s newest show is “Don’t Trust the B— in Apartment 23,” and it starts Krysten Ritter as a manipulative evil New York party girl who takes advantage of her naive farm girl neighbor. Ironically, Krysten Ritter was herself a farm girl who came to New York when she was fifteen to model for Elite, and she’ll tell you all about it in her underwear!

For example: she raised a calf, fed it from a bottle for years, later taught the full-grown cow to carry her around on its back like a horse, and then the whole town heard about it and came to watch her. Why is that progression of events so attractive to us? Is there such thing as the Manic Pixie Farm Girl? Blam: just coined it. Copyright. Trademark. All of that.

· Me In My Place (meinmyplace.com)
· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

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Camilla Luddington, whose nudity we all enjoyed on last week’s episode of “Californication,” has this to say about her experience playing Kate Middleton in a movie. “Right before I got Will and Kate, a fake Facebook page was created about me, and it had all this information that was wrong. They said that I was a Jewish bi-sexual Republican—hilarious.”

“They said that my hobbies were roller-skating on the weekends, which is amazing, and that I was educated at Oxford, which would be great. It was the one thing I was like, ‘Damn, do we really have to take it down? Do I have to tell them that’s not true? Because that would be awesome.’”

Don’t worry, Camilla. We’ll always think of you as an Oxford-educated bisexual Jewish Republican who took gold at last year’s X-Games for rollerskating. That’s how we think of all the women we love!

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

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No joke. Look at this spread in the British Esquire that calls Lake Bell “America’s Secret.” It sounds absurd, but thanks to a strange combination of terrible cross-cultural mishaps (“Childrens Hospital” is unavailable, “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” went straight to DVD, no UK critics noted “How to Make It in America”), they’ve been missing out on all the semi-nudity (and occasional real nudity) this hilarious and talented 32-year old has to offer. Thank goodness Esquire finally decided to do something about that!

However, all they really did was grab a few outtakes from her Me In My Place shoot, run them through Instagram, and send them off to print. We’re not knocking them for doing so; this was an emergency, after all.

On another note, what are we giving up by letting the rest of the world know about Ms. Bell’s beautiful bod? What if she chooses another country over us? We fear rejection from women we ogle from afar. (Sigh.)

· Esquire UK (esquire.co.uk)

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The life of a super powerful bikini model is one of tense balance. Kate Upton practices breathing techniques to maintain the fine equilibrium between clothed and naked; if her focus wandered for just a moment, she might shred her entire wardrobe with a pair of scissors. So, who would like to distract Kate Upton for a moment?

It should just take a quick second. You can ask her about how she’s planning to one-up her Dougie video, or you can talk about the (very hidden) tattoo she recently acquired, or maybe you can just tickle her. Then, once you stand back, she should fly into a blur of scissors and lace scraps as she juliennes her wardrobe. Then take pictures (like we have to tell you to take pictures). We swear this isn’t taking advantage of Kate Upton’s mental state; if anything, it’s giving her the catharsis she’s been fighting off for so long!

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

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Jessica Hart has done Fashion Week before, she knows what it’s about, she’s zoomed in and out of shows like nobody’s business. So you could either learn about her take on this insane week, or you could check out her radiant cleavage care of Esquire and Me In My Place.

Really, you can do both, but we find it difficult. We were too busy staring at her tits in the bathroom mirror to notice she was talking about her dentist (and, we assume, her diastema), and later, while we were exploring all of the possibly imagery that we could associate with her vague yet sexy statement, “I’m never forced to wear anything whatsoever,” we missed the picture in which she pulls her panties dangerously low on her hips. Multi-tasking is not for us.

· Me In My Place (meinmyplace.com)
· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

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“Do you know what cricket is?” asks Margot Robbie as she unbuttons her jean shorts. Apparently we don’t! But if it involves this beautiful “Pan-Am” star flashing her panties in her apartment, it sounds like exactly the kind of game we want to play.

While we’re still hoping that the “Pan-Am” babes will go totally topless and do a Playboy shoot or something, this is definitely a step forward. Margot plays the shy and timid Laura Cameron on the show, but we hear the next episode involves Laura in a nude photoshoot! That, combined with this awesome gallery from Esquire and Me In My Place photographer Michael Edwards, makes us feel like “Pan-Am” could get pornographic any second now.

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)

The Polish model walks across the room with her thong popping out of her pants, saying, “I mean, I guess I don’t leave much to the imagination because I love to walk around topless in my panties.” You know what? Fuck imagination.

It’s totally overrated. We once imagined what it’d be like if we were a food blog instead, ugh, it was horrible, haven’t bothered with imagination since. Honestly, when there’s Me In My Place every couple of weeks or so, providing us with all of the celebrity panty shots we need to get by, we don’t need to imagine jack squat. And frankly, we couldn’t ever imagine that Joanna Krupa would say such funny things as:

“I did over 150 magazine covers worldwide before Poland realized there was a Polish girl in America making a career here. Now I’m like the Angelina Jolie of Poland.”

And:

“I think the people of Poland still haven’t gotten over the fact that you don’t always have to be sad and upset with your life.”

· Esquire (esquire.com)

And here we thought we were having a busy year, looking at porn from the comfort of our office. While we were sitting around being snarky, Esquire and Michael Edwards of Me In My Place were working hard, taking pictures in the domiciles of a wide range of gorgeous actresses, bringing us the stiff nipples and panty shots that we crave.

Yes, take a trip through this slideshow and you can see some of the hottest photos taken this year, starring such legendary babes as Stacy Keibler, Paz de la Huerta, Sarah Shahi, Lake Bell, and many more! We’d say we were jealous of Michael Edwards, but hey, he’s a generous photographer!

· Enjoy the retrospective: Esquire + Me in My Place: 2011 in Photos + Videos (esquire.com)

The movie “The Sitter” opens with Jonah Hill going down on Ari Graynor, and the play “Trust” opens with Zach Braff going down on her as well. If you’re ever unsure how to start something, try going down on Ari Graynor! It’s what all the cool kids are doing these days.

As you can tell, this is one of the more revealing Me In My Place spreads that have ever been shown. Ari Graynor, whom you might remember as goofy and drunk Caroline in “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” talks about faking orgasms, getting jokes from Woody Allen, and chugging vodka—and she does it all in her underwear. We love this series ever so much.

· Esquire (esquire.com)

And now we get to be in her place, so we get to see her not wearing a bra! We hope Lake Bell is cool with being the archetypal Girl Next Door because this “Me In My Place” shoot is going to cause a major migration to New York City.

If these casually sexy pictures aren’t enough for you, something is wrong with you Lake also tells a couple jokes in her interview. And if you don’t find the jokes funny, well, she tells them with her nipples poking through her gray tanktop. When it comes to comedy, everybody knows that nipples are more important than timing.

· More photos (and a video) available at Esquire (esquire.com)

Unfortunately, Claire Coffee’s “Me In My Place” interview explicitly states that she doesn’t want to wake up next to anybody. She doesn’t even want to snuggle after sex! “At the end of the night, once we’re done – once we’ve done our business – you go to your side of the bed and I’ll go to mine.”

It’s a shame really, because A) Ms. Coffee is beautiful and B) some of us Fleshbotters were born and raised in San Francisco, so when Claire said…

I grew up in the heyday of the 49ers – Joe Montana and Steve Young. Around the holidays, when you’re supposed to have your kids take a picture with Santa Claus, my mom took us to take a picture with Ray Wersching. The Niners kicker.

…we started pricing engagement rings. Also, is her nipple slipping out in the picture above? If so, bonus.

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)