When we think of the title “Porno Pranks,” we imagine someone getting spitroasted with a Kick Me sign on their back, or someone looking inside a gaping asshole just as plastic snakes fly out of it. What we don’t think of is Riley Steele and Jesse Jane having sex with guys and filming it without their consent.

Erik Everhard’s sister is coming to visit, and he’s very nicely asked his studly roommates not to have sex with her. Sorry, Erik: you forgot to put “Not Fucking My Sister” on the chore wheel, so nobody has to do what you say.

Hey y’all, it’s Florabel’s birthday today! And we/I can think of nary a better way to celebrate than with the aforementioned holy trinity of B’s. Or… quadruplicity of Bs, counting the “bouncing”. Or maybe quintuplicity, counting birthday. But hey, this ain’t an occasion for doing math! It’s a day for watching April O’Neil vaulting up and down atop a massive schlong so hard and fast her tits nearly ascend to the heavens. If that’s not a celebration, we don’t know what is! A happy day to us all.

Carrie’s friends are obsessed with a certain pornstar they found online, Riley Steele, mainly because Riley and Carrie look alike, secondarily because watching Riley’s scenes seems to spice up everyone’s sex life. Rumors are quickly spreading about Carrie’s secret second job; how will she address these issues with her boyfriend?

House-sitting seems like a simple enough job for Stoya. All she has to do is hang out in a rich person’s abode, keep the lights on, water the plants, and not let her ex-boyfriend come over and bang her breathless. She can do that, right? Everybody seems to forget how unbelievably boring house-sitting is; it’s super boring, and a girl like Stoya can get super horny when she’s bored.

Jesse Jane is a superstar romance novelist whose books have been burning up the shelves and filling the fantasies of countless readers, but her life lacks the passion she writes about. A gal can only scribble sexy ideas down for so long before they start to seep into her brain, and Jesse has reached the point where she’s desperately craving real, fleshy, nasty human contact.

Manuel Ferrara is the owner of La Boutique, a small lingerie store that’s having some serious trouble turning profits. Why would Manuel Ferrara own a lingerie store? Hey, Nick Manning and a handful of other pornstars actually ran such a store in Encino, California. Could “La Boutique” be a riff on Manning’s “LA Exotique”? Probably not, but we’re going to pretend so.

Poor Erik Everhard can’t seem to score with a babe; not one gosh darn cutie will touch his penis! And he’s so tired of watching his roommate, Manuel Ferrara, have anal sex with girls on the regular. So, he gets set up on a blind date with Selena Rose. That should cure what ails him! Or will it?

There’s an exquisite beauty that stems from desiring something so hard, with every vibrating fibre of your very being, but not getting it — yet. (That’s why foreplay is so fun, fellas!) But it’s like, if everything we wanted were just handed to us, it wouldn’t feel quite as rewarding. Sometimes it’s nice to feel like you deserve what’s coming to you… And if you manage to stroke your turgid cock all up against Vicki Chase’s hot-ass pussy with the restraint to keep from plunging right in to the hilt, well, you deserve it. Eventually. For now we’ll luxuriate in the splendor of the “almost there” — sweating and twitching all the while.

We know what you’re thinking: “Didn’t we just see a Digital Playground movie about people trading significant others in order to satisfy some twisted bet last week?” You’re absolutely right, we did. Maybe somebody at Digital Playground is really itching to screw his best friend’s girlfriend. (Maybe everybody on Earth feels that way.)

Hey, your dick is supposed to go inside Melanie Rios, bro! Don’t you know anything? We get it though, you just want her close — real close. We can’t blame you. We suppose it’s easier to just grab her booty and get to pumpin’ without worrying about any of that pesky penetration business. Skin-on-skin does always feels nice; we suppose this is like a close private part snugglefest, which doesn’t sound half bad. At least for a little while!

We’re generally willing to suspend disbelief for Digital Playground: we can pretend that Kayden Kross is a shy woman, we’ve entertained the idea that stripper pole installation technicians get laid all the time, and we’re even down with the idea that Stoya owns a haunted house. But the idea that someone would get tired of banging an eternally horny BiBi Jones? Implausible.

Real estate is a rough business by itself, so imagine how complicated and stressful it becomes when you’re banging every other person in your agency. This is the struggle that Jesse Jane faces: she tries to sell houses, and though she may not realize it, she’s also trying to sell herself to a special someone. Oh, Jesse, soon you will learn that you can’t hold open houses in your heart (or your pussy).

Babes, guns, drugs, crime, cartels, kidnappers, and explosions: that’s what we need right about now, and Digital Playground is giving us precisely that with their latest film. Every year, they drop a big budget booty-shaking movie on us, and this time we’re getting a tale of foxy military mamas going to rescue a friend in need. You’ll be on the edge of your seat with your hands on your meat!

Where is Kayden’s man? Why did she get butt-dialed by his phone and hear the sounds of fierce, wet fucking? And why is it that booty calls can get you a bird but bird calls never get you booty?

Digital Playground’s latest socially conscious smutfest stars Selena Rose as a sexy maid who may or may not be living in the country illegally. In this movie, as in real life, all of the erotic action begins with a surprise visit from the INS. Which male pornstar pays homage to Joe Arpaio? Click to find out!

No joke, the whole premise of this film is that BiBi Jones wakes up in a strange house after a party and has no way to leave because everyone is too busy curing their respective hangovers with rambunctious sex to give her a ride. It’s essentially “Hotel California” with a little anal fingering added in for good measure.

“Would you like to come inside My Haunted House?” asks nobody at no point in this film. “It’s warm and cozy, but it’s dark, so you’ll have to find your way around by touch. Don’t be surprised if a ghost jumps out at you!” In this case, a ghost represents female ejaculation (because some people don’t believe in it).

It’s always mating season in Porn Valley, and therefore the males of the species are constantly putting out displays of manliness that are designed to attract females and intimidate other males; one such practice is the act of stealing the undergarments of ladies after having sex with them. It’s time to put on your best David Attenborough voice, because we’re about to observe this ritual in action.

Is it love? Is it lust? No, it’s something in between: it’s the immediate and pressing need to sink your hands and teeth into the glistening buttocks on the massage table in front of you; it’s restless leg syndrome that affects the genitals; it’s the reason pre-nuptial agreements can include clauses that instigate divorce in case one party loses her ass luster.