We just happen to have it on good authority that Miss Maggie Mayhem and Mz Jolene Parton are two of the hottest fucking queer exhibitionist babes in the Bay Area.We also have it on good authority that there are lots of outdoor spots in the Bay Area for long sunny hikes and illicit pussy eating. Because the only thing that smells better than Maggie Mayhem’s hairy cunt is Maggie Mayhem’s hairy cunt plus eucalyptus.

You may not know this, but Alice Cooper’s favorite kind of music is easy listening. Trust us on this one, we never forget obscure rock trivia. And if it’s good enough for the original King of Shock Rock, we figure it’s worth looking into. As soon as we put our thinking caps on, we realized it’s because easy listening is excellent for greasing the gears of ladylove. Alice, you old cad, we knew you were on to something!

Somehow, in all the reviews we read of “Greenberg,” not one critic mentioned anything about a scene of Ben Stiller going down on a topless Greta Gerwig. Uh, hello? Isn’t that the most important part? Well, the critics may have left it out—but we know better than to let this