We’re not a picky bunch over here at Fleshbot. It’s not that we don’t have standards or preferences, but we enjoy finding the good and sexy in whatever comes our way. We’re even willing to focus on Hayley’s beautiful boobs popping out of her Wonder Woman and Robin costumes when she says something inane like, “We should put a mask on the Joker so he might look better.” (We just… We don’t even know what to do with that.)
It’s May, and you know what that means: students all over the world are stressing the brains out about finals and grades and such. What’s the best they can get, 4.0? If they take a lot of AP classes, they can raise it up to 5.0. If they let the assistant principal bend them over the desk and feast on their fanny, that has to at least be worth 6.0–it’s only fair.
There’s nothing quite like finding beautiful and freely visible boobs in unexpected places. Even though sci-fi movies love to include a little nudity here and there, the SyFy channel usually keeps everything PG-13; that doesn’t seem to be the case with this piece of “Defiance.” Jaime Murray’s alien boobs are, like, all right there.
Photographer/director Steve Diet Goedde is no stranger to the strange, so we’re none too shocked by the sight of a gorgeous woman stripping out of a panda costume. And if you like what you see, you have no need to be embarrassed–Caroline Aquino makes one hot panda! The only embarrassing part of all this is that in this post-4/20 world, we thought the title was a pun on “Pineapple Express.”
We know this is odd. Why are we showing Beyonce’s outfit when those aren’t really her nipples? Because imagine if they were. Also, this reminds us of that obscene George Clooney as Batman costume with the rubber nipples, except this has glitter so Bey is more Batman than Batman.
It’s April, and the eighteen year-old Catholic schoolgirls of America are anxiously counting down the days until they can get out of their uniforms and join reality. Why don’t you give them a hand? Let your cock be their beacon and your balls the standard bearers of the big wide world that awaits them!
Some would say that it’s a shame that Frida’s powers haven’t fully matured, but we think she’s in a good place. She can change her form at will and become a bear, a bunny, a cat, or a wheat-sprite, although the transformation only affects her ears. Sure, it’s an incomplete transformation, but at least her beautiful boobs stay the same!
We love everybody on “Shameless”–we can’t forget about how good Emmy Rossum has been to us–and we’re delighted that the new season has finally hit TV, but we’d be lying if we claimed we were posting this for any other reason besides Shanola Hampton’s scene. Time and time again, that woman delivers nudity with buckets and buckets of creative kink, and this season premiere holds no differences. Behold as she demands to have her ass munched!
When’s the last time you went to the circus? If you answered, “Last week, and then a month before that, and every time the Ringling Bros come to town,” then you are exactly the person La Magie calendar was made for! It has all of your favorite lad’s mag babes looking like clowns, contortionists, tightrope walkers, lion tamers, and ringleaders, except they have their boobs out and that’s not family friendly.
What did Christina Milian dress as for the Hpnotiq Halloween Party? We’re pretty sure she’s an embodiment of the flavor of Hpnotiq: fruity acid blue-ness with cupcake cleavage and a hint of nipple. Not sure why that crown is there, but something about it feels right. Nipples and crowns work well together.
We’re not quite sure what to call Rosie’s costume–she’s sporting a Day of the Dead headpiece, granny glasses, fur, and frilly undergarments–but we’re sure that we like it. It’s a little bit of everything: a little kinky, a bit MILFy, kind of luxurious, and even somewhat naughty as we can see her panties with a side of labia.
We’ve been going all out for All Hallow’s Eve roundabout Fleshbot HQ — guess we get off on ghouls and spooks and things that go bump in the night. Well, especially that latter part. So let’s delve in, and be the best, most shiningest jack-off-o’-lanterns we can be.
Or maybe you didn’t give to charity; in that case, these boobs are not for you. Oh, who are we kidding? Even if you had no idea that Adrianne Curry was fundraising for noble causes, you still deserve a glimpse at her beautiful bare torso because this is America or something like that.
Why is it that whenever we go to get a check-up and have to wait in the exam room, we feel sexual elation when the door finally opens and the doctor steps in? Do we have a medical fetish, are we hypochondriacs who see doctors as gods, or are we simply stoked about having affordable health insurance (thanks, Freelancers Union)? There’s nothing sexy about the latter two options, so let’s explore medical fetishes.
Oh yes, another one of these movies. We’ve sat idly by and watched girls get torn away from the elaborate dresses and frocks and petticoats so that strong men might lovingly rough them up, and all we’ve learned from this experience is that we’re willing to watch more. Bring on the piano lessons and the disciplinary actions!
We’re in the mood to go to a museum, but we’ve hit all of the local spots a bajillion times already. We’re trying to find the place where the walls are covered with images of naked Alana Marie wielding swords, horns, and mustaches. Where would we find this? The Museum of Modern Art? The Museum of Sex? How about the Museum of Brilliant Photoshoots?
We finished going through the alphabet with our Encyclopedia of Smut, but we’ve been having a lot of fun waxing erotic about various aspects of the porn world, and we don’t feel like stopping just because the stupid English alphabet only has twenty-six characters (if only we were a Russian site). Today, we feel like thinking out loud about babes wearing glasses in porn, but you get to decide what we write about next week!
We like to think of Darling House as the House of Darling, the dynasty that ruled an alternate-universe Austro-Hungarian empire and gave patronage to some of the most talented and prolific erotic artists in history. Our fantasy isn’t too far from the truth: the photographers who fly their freak flags beneath Darling’s banner are all brilliant, and they have some sexy new material you ought to see.
Some people say that children are the future, and we heartily disagree with them. Barely legal belles who dress up in Catholic schoolgirl uniforms are the future, for they remind us that life is about learning, and even when you’re done with formal schooling, you’re constantly taking in new information and growing as a person. Step one for growing as a person: put on a schoolgirl uniform.
Students these days are stressing so hard that they end up with OCD and ADHD and other wack acronyms weighing their brains down, and we think someone needs to tell them, “Yo, youths between the ages of eighteen and twenty-six, you should skip school today and have a lot of anal sex with Mark Ashley. You will learn nothing save for the unique joys that come from awakening the delicate nerves of your ass.”