We love our computers for keeping the world interconnected, for giving us kitties, people falling down, and porn. But imagine if the porn it’s playing is your own personal porn, which features you giving your babe a facial. You’re then getting off to yourself getting off! Computer, you thing of ceaseless wonder, you.

Kudos to these folks because that’s a damned brilliant idea. If we’re all as full of ourselves as we ought to be, there ain’t no hotter porn than seeing ourselves getting our own dirty fuck on onscreen. Does that make our current orgasm twice as hot, then? It’s worth a (cum)shot to check and see, we think.

· Fucking her while watching a tape of me cumming in her mouth (xtube.com)

Ten years ago, when EroticBPM was still known as RaverPorn, and Fleshbot was but a twinkle in an Englishman’s eye, a young Killshot decided to buy a 10 gig hard drive to store all his photos of hot naked ravergirls.

Now, after ten years of continuous service, the drive is being retired—and you, yes you, could be its new owner. The drive is now up for auction on eBay, just waiting to be bought…and if an EroticBPM member happens to be the one who wins the auction, they’ll get the bonus prize of some special, unpublished content pre-loaded on the drive for them to enjoy.

So, uh, what are you waiting for?

· Western Digital 10 GB Hard Drive WD Caviar 310200 IDE (ebay.com)
· Own a piece of ebpm history. (eroticbpm.com)

We weren’t exactly surprised to discover a Flickr group devoted to Second Life porn—naughty behavior seems to be SL’s raison d’etre—but we were a little surprised by how hot it was.

Granted, we don’t spend that much time exploring Second Life—what with the busy first life and all—but we just didn’t really realize how, uh, intense it could get. And we gotta say, we really like it.

· SL-Pornographers (flickr.com, via unscathedcorpse.blogspot.com)

Remember HeatSeek, the adult web browser? (How could you forget?) Well, the powers that be have released a brand new version (1.3.3.4 — apparently someone’s really fond of the period key) that’s even better! What’s new? Well, among other things, you can download and keep Flash videos from almost any website–including CNN, which is totes where we get all our hottest porn. Of course, it’s still PC only. So maybe we can’t have everything. (heatseek.com)

You might think you’re already an expert when it comes to the way sex and human bodies look and feel–after all, you’re reading Fleshbot, aren’t you? But datamapping artists Fernanda Viégas and Martin Wattenberg’s Fleshmap series may help you visualize those things in ways you’ve never thought about before: their “Touch” project “reveal(s) a map of sensual desire with multiple focal points and islands of excitement”, while “Look” “explores individuality and the hidden surprises that each body reveals when bared”. If it all sounds a little too abstract to you from the description, not to worry: the curiously beautiful body part mosaics and nipple matrices that result can simply be enjoyed for their visual qualities even if the actual methodology the artists use to generate them escape you. And at the very least, it should give you something else to think about when looking at bodies the old fashioned way gets a little boring. (Hey, you never know.)

• Fleshmap: Studies Of Desire (fleshmap.com, via tinynibbles.com)

The Teeny Weeny USB drive would the perfect place to hide your porn if your porn collection didn’t require more hard drive space than the Library of Congress. And you can save the jokes about “pulling out early,” because they made that one already. (teenyweenydrive.com)

The “Deep Throat Fight Club” contest pits web filtering companies against each other to find out which one is the best at recognizing and blocking porn. Do you we could get them do the same thing for us, but like … the opposite? (techworld.com + untangle.com)

Ever wish you could control your computer with your peen? (Really, who hasn’t?) Finally, someone’s created a way to do just that: the Interactive Fleshlight, which our pal qDot at Slashdong reminds us “is an input /only/ device”. And not only can you use your joystick as a, uh, joystick … you can also play a crappy sex game with it! What will they think of next? (slashdong.org)

Scientists at Tel Aviv University claim that they have taught a computer how to recognize a pretty face. Think of all the time we will save not clicking on “Hot or Not” now that machines can do it for us! (zmescience.com, via nerve.com)

Does everyone hide their computer porn in this totally foolproof manner? Even your family doesn’t want to look at your boring family photos so this is pretty airtight security—provided you don’t forget which boring folder you hid your cumshot compilations in. (strive2be.vox.com)

Nerdy (and pervy) as we were, we’re been fans of the many variations of ASCII pr0n since, like, forever — and now some dedicated ASCII fetishist has updated and expanded the Wikipedia ASCII pr0n article so we can feel as informed as the next command-line wanker. (en.wikipedia.org – thanks R; thumbnail via asciipr0n.com)

Because Fleshbot staff meetings frequently devolve into all-out flogging battles over who is running the superior operating system on their laptop, we often wonder which brand of computer attracts the kinkiest, freakiest and perviest users. Well, UK sex toy emporium LoveHoney decided to find out through a totally scientific study of their online customer base. The verdict?

Windows PC users rack up way more page views per visit, which means they take their time to peruse as many options as possible when browsing for vibrators, dildos and the like. However, when it comes time to plunk down the credit card and actually purchase that new bedroom plaything, it’s the Mac users who spend more money on average to secure the perfect object to to stick inside themselves. (We just hope it’s compatible!)

So what does it all mean? Are Windows users practical, thrifty consumers or indecisive cheapskates? Are Macheads richer and hornier than your average shopper or do they simply get off on paying extra money to own any new gadget with a shiny surface? And Linux users? You don’t even want to know what those freaks are into …

· Mac v Windows: Who Spends The Most on Sex Toys? (lovehoney.co.uk)
· Thumbnail of the one thing we can all agree on, Gianna Michaels (via danni.com, via kellyfind.com)

It’s not a total coincidence that the Consumer Electronics Show (the Super Bowl of geek world) and the Adult Entertainment Expo are both held just yards apart in the same expo center in the same city on the very same week in January; AEE was spun off from CES several years ago. So what’s a bored computer salesman on a junket to do with his lunch break? Why not head over to the porn convention right next door? Except … not so fast, bub. Security is tighter than you might think … and as you can see here, an ugly fate befalls all who attempt to cross the great divide.

· Video by Richard Blakeley

Warning: That sexy 18-year-old Russian model who totally wants to cybersex you may actually be a chat bot who just wants your credit card numbers so it can buy a mail-order chat bot bride and have little chat bot babies. Yes, the machines officially own us now. (news.com, via Valleywag)

Our nerdy Gizmodo brothers forgot to tell us about their contest to find the most inappropriate place to be reading a tech blog. We would have held our own competition here, but we just assumed that every single entry would look like this (and would be completely appropriate, of course.) (Gizmodo)

Stuck on what to buy that upskirt aficionado in your life who has everything this holiday season? How about a mouse pad with a built in denim skirt cover? Yes, it’s kinda creepy—but at least they’ll be able to get their pervy groping fix from the privacy of their desktops instead of on a crowded subway car or something. (rakuten.co.jp, via sexornot.blogspot.com)

In addition to those 300 or so new features that Apple has publicized, let’s not overlook claims that the new Leopard operating system is the ultimate porn OS ever. Since we use our computers for pretty much nothing but looking at porn anyway, you can be sure we’ll be putting that claim to the test as often as we can. (boinkology.com; more @ joyoftech.com)

Web scammers have figured out a way to get you, the internet user, to defeat those annoying CAPTCHA word verification systems for them—through the magic of porn, of course. It’s pretty brilliant actually, even if those things are already useless anyway. (bbc.co.uk + pcmag.com)

Remember how using a Mac used to be your best defense against inadvertently downloading malware or viruses from a dodgy porn site? Well the times, as they say, are a-changing … so make sure you check carefully before downloading that nifty free porn viewer you come across. (Then again, if you’re smart enough to use a Mac in the first place, hopefully you’re smart enough not to be sucked in by the promise of a nifty free porn viewer anyway.) (ap.google.com; thumbnail via erotics.theapplecollection.com)

All those Mac users out there who think they’re somehow impervious to malware better watch out. Even the most diehard Apple fanboy can be lured into a trap by the siren call of free porn. Where’s your Steve Jobs now? (news.com)