Lucas and Carrie (Ivana Milicevic) certainly have a complicated relationship. She was all set to hand him over to her mob boss daddy last episode, but then he saved her daughter’s life and she was forced to recognize her feelings for him, thus leading to some stony-faced fucking. Additional bouts of banging continue in this episode, but where are they going? What happens when the sex stops?

That Noelle DuBois is really something special. After years of research, struggling to get funding, and countless hours of lab work, she’s finally figured out the perfect way to ride cowgirl (and even reverse cowgirl, with that fine ass of hers pointed out way) without any help from the guy she’s fucking. He’s totally useless! Congratulations, Noelle.

Carrie (Ivana Milicevic) was all set to get rid of Lucas by drugging him and handing him over to Mr. Rabbit, but lucky for her, he managed to escape, put on his sheriff-face, and smoothly diffuse a hostage situation at the high school. How does she thank him? She sneaks into his bed at night. Yeah, as if Lucas wants to sleep with the woman who tried to give him to a mob boss.

The last episode of “Banshee” was a gruesome waltz down memory lane as Lucas revisited his struggles in prison, but fortunately for us, none of that intersects with the episode’s nudity. At least, not immediately. Well, no, sooner or later, everything swirls back to badness; you can’t put drugs on a boob in that town and expect to get away with it.

Some staring, some breathing, a lot of pussy eating, and then maybe a sigh or two: that’s all “Banshee” gives us and that’s all we want. At some point they go ahead and ruin things by saying words while naked, but for a few shining seconds, “Banshee” delivered peace of mind and a piece of Lili Simmons’s ass.

When we saw the most recent episode of “Banshee,” we thought to ourselves, “Wow, everybody is really into high-octane pussy-pounding sex in this universe!” Then we saw Ivana Milicevic have sex with her husband, masturbate in the tub while thinking about sex with her ex-boyfriend, return to the bedroom dripping wet, and then jump her hubby’s bones a second time. It’s only then we remembered, “Oh, wait, this is on Cinemax.”

We already knew that “Banshee,” Cinemax’s newest show, would deliver unto us Ivana Milicevic’s first ever nude scene, but we had no idea how very hot her first time would be. In our minds, one’s first time being naked on camera is something akin to one’s first time having sex–that is, incredibly awkward–but Ivana handles her bare-assed debut superbly. All it takes is a little professionalism and a lot of sexy back arching.

Guess what’s going on this weekend? Sexy TV time! A new season of “Girls” begins this Sunday, and even if Lena Dunham doesn’t get naked this time around (and we’re betting she will), we already have confirmed nudity from Shiri Appleby in later episodes. Plus, Ivana Milicevic’s first nude scene will hit Cinemax this Friday for the premiere of their newest series, “Banshee.” Good times lie ahead!

Did we not mention our wish to see Melissa George naked on the new BBC show “Hunted”? We most certainly did. It turns out that she was indeed naked and even having sex in the same episode we saw Helen Kennedy in. Clearly, we were distracted by the beauty mark on Helen’s boob. You can imagine how useless we are in scavenger hunts, too.

The last time we saw Lyne Renee, she was riding cowgirl with her hands around her man’s throat; needless to say, we were pretty turned on by all of that. This time Lyne is on the bottom, but she’s every bit as steamy and sexy as before.

We’ve seen a wide variety of sexing styles on “Strike Back”–that’s one of the reasons we love this show ever so much–and though there have been many men putting their rough hands and stiff arms upon ladies, this may be the first time we’ve seen the tables turned. When Lyne Renee mounts a guy, she owns his ass, and the humping and nipple tweaking shall proceed exactly as she wants it.

To every season, turn, turn, turn the channel to premium cable because those bigwigs know that even though we say we’re paying for gripping drama and exhilarating action, we’re really paying for softcore porn. Summer programming is gone, but some of our favorite shows are just heating up.

We already showed you a little bit of what went down in the last episode of “Femme Fatales,” and we know it’s a tad lame of us to be dipping our sticky paws back in the same barrel to show you some smut, but you have to hear us out. This woman’s name is Crystle Lightning, and she convinces a guard to unlock her cell and eat her out. We can’t not show you that.

Mary Mason has been convicted of killing her husband, and because she insists that a madman broke in and killed him while they slept, she’s been locked away in a hospital for the criminally insane. Meanwhile, the criminally and insanely hot residents of this nightmare factory are busy eating each other out.

This Todd guy has a very important job that keeps him in the public’s eye, and he can’t afford to be seen in any compromising positions. Nope, this district attorney should not be cheating on his wife with a PYT like Sadie Alexander, especially not when Sadie is in cahoots with his wife for some sinister reason that involves blackmail, murder, and safe cracking. We sure hope Todd keeps his head together and his pants on.

Jo Newman–whose boobs you probably remember from when they were sunbathing next to Laura Prepon’s–is in jail, and she doesn’t like it one bit. She survived an attempt on her life, and even though she killed her assailant in self-defense, her sentence has been extended by years. What’s she going to do? Step one: enjoy a conjugal visit from her man. Step two: screw a guard, take his gun, and bounce.

Or do! We suppose we can’t tell you what to think about while you’re having sex, primarily because it’s not our business, also because you sometimes can’t help where your mind goes. Anyway, we can tell that this man is headed in a bad direction, because he’s having sex with a mafia princess-turned-queenpin while fantasizing about his ex-girlfriend, the detective who asked him to dig up info on the mafia. This can’t end well for him.

We all have to go someday, and of all the ways that people die, being killed by a beautiful woman post-coitus is a pretty sweet one. We don’t mean to be morbid, we’re simply proud of Mirtha Michelle for carrying out her first hit as a trained assassin. Her mom should get a bumper sticker that announces this milestone!

Working in a lab all day, abiding by a bunch of stuffy rules, and occasionally dealing with hot babes who materialize out of fiery blasts from another dimension can take it’s toll on the brain and body, but it certainly helps the libido. At the end of the day, there’s nothing Hollie Stenson wants to do more than strip naked and bang her boytoy while all those pervy microscopes watch.

We’ve seen some wild stuff from “Femme Fatales” in the past–murders, complicated assassination plots, bank robberies, cunnilingus that brainwashes people (metaphorically)–but now it appears that fly females have the ability to teleport like Nightcrawler. Is it safe to have sex with a women who materialized from a cloud of lightning and fire? While we’re asking, is it safe to have sex with Nightcrawler?