When you think about it, there really is an entire genre of porn that is essentially daytime soap operas without the pan to the fireplace. The cheezy production quality and the cliche dialogue and the melodramatic acting are all there – but this time, so is the bodice-ripping back-stabbing super-naughty double-crossing FUCKING.

Chastity Lynn landed a sweet babysitting gig looking after Dana DeArmond’s youngster, but Dana’s stories about her ex-husband are filling Chastity with a bitter hatred for a man she’s never met. What do you think will happen with Chastity finally meets Dana’s ex? Do you think there’ll be banging? Yep!

Recently we talked about Big Wet Asses and how incredibly hot and awesome it is when porn shows fountains of lube! Historically, for some fucking reason, wetness is undervalued in porn. It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense to us, since as far as we’re concerned wetness is pretty much what sex is all about.

Would you forget Chastity Lynn’s name if you just prematurely ejaculated on her?

We know what you’re thinking: “Didn’t we just see a Digital Playground movie about people trading significant others in order to satisfy some twisted bet last week?” You’re absolutely right, we did. Maybe somebody at Digital Playground is really itching to screw his best friend’s girlfriend. (Maybe everybody on Earth feels that way.)

It’s the kind of expression we get when faced with a warm and crisp-crusted strawberry rhubarb pie, or a bowlful of Baci chocolates. And though we’d certainly like to see Chastity munch her way through any manner of sweet stuffs, all sticky-cheeked and sugared up, we see in her eyes it’s not gustatory greed that’s on her mind… but more like a totally insatiable lust. It’s a lust where we feel a cock to the mouth only hits the tip of the iceberg. But we see she’s got the conviction and zeal to really follow through. Those eyes say she couldn’t let us down.

Where would society be without girls kissing girls? Probably nowhere good, probably still in the Dark Ages. People credit modern civilization to a lot of different things–agriculture, social contracts, alcohol–but we know in our heart of hearts that the tender lip-lock of two babes is the only thing that drives humanity forward.

Sometimes we feel like nothing is as honest as a great porn zinger like “If You’re Not Going To Wear The Pants Around Here, Let Me Take Mine Off!”. It’s like when you’re talking dirty and you admit things you would never admit in “real life” (real life being the time you spend not fucking, which when you think about it doesn’t really add up, because nothing feels realer than fucking, are we wrong?).

Jennifer White has retired from the lap dancing game and is looking forward to settling down with her boyfriend, Dane Cross, and starting a new career, but somewhere in the recesses of her soul, she knows stripping will always be a part of who she is. Furthermore, it will always be a part of her relationship, for Dane can never forget the first time he saw her on stage.

We were recently thinking about how we dig Samantha Ryan and wish she would appear in more movies, and then this little film pops up and gives us exactly what we want! Isn’t that grand? Everybody who’s not Samantha Ryan gets fucked by Samantha Ryan; that’s how it should be.

Little did we know that the Lilly Ledbetter Act would inspire women from all walks of life to get back at their callous boyfriends by having wild flings with rockstars and construction workers and whatnot, but that’s what we get for not reading between the lines or paying attention to the all-important Sick Nasty Dome clause.

Remember how B. Skow signed a contract to direct boy-girl porn for Girlfriends Films? Well, this special union is about to bear new fruit in the shape of a passionate tale called “Paint,” and we’ve been blessed with the chance to share the hardcore trailer with you. Prepare yourself for drama and D-cups!

Wrath! Wrath from the hands and toes! Wrath muffled by wet panties wadded up and stuffed in the mouth! Ass gravity and gushing come raining down on the faces of the innocent! You’ve probably read about all this in cuneiform, but now it’s back, for Belladonna has unleashed “No Warning 7″ upon the world.

Writing for Fleshbot is really not that different from writing a porn script, it seems. Nica Noelle has got to be one of the best script writers in the biz. This trailer in particular is filled with the kind of the same slyly hysterical yet strangely arousing double entendres that put bread in our baskets (eh? ehh?). “She… abuses her authority.” “What do you mean she gets close to you?” “My door is always open.” This stuff makes us giggle and squirm in our seats at the same time!

What is the ass factor? How can you tell if someone has it? How can you tell if you have it and you’re sitting on it right now? Quick test: pull down your pants and wiggle it out the window. If Manuel Ferrara comes a-runnin’, that means you have it. Congratulations.

(Hint: They’re very sexual and love fucking.)

There are a lot of steps you can take to improve your chances of having a successful orgy, but when you get down to what really matters, it’s all about how experienced the participants are. That’s why these “Orgy Masters” can decide to form a pile of bodies without warning: they know what goes where and when, and nobody has to remind them to lube up or scoot over or form a daisy chain.