It’s like Munch’s The Scream (of Nature), but with a good amount more jizz involved (we presume). And a little less terror. This babe isn’t overcome by the pandemonium of life’s tumult, no — rather, she welcomes the chaotic joy that is a bursting load of cum. And if this is the way in which she does it, that’s a-okay with us. It’s endearing. It’s artful. It’s Facial Friday.

We love a gal who can multitask. Especially one who can multitask naked! And even more especially when the tasks at hand (and mouth) involve blowin’ some sexy dicks. Sure, we’re impressed by a person who can ride a unicycle over a tightrope while spinning plates on sticks and stuff, but there’s something to be said for skills with practical applications. And getting two dudes to blow mega loads onto your waiting chest? Yeah, mad practical. And also awesome.

It’s one of the funnest sports out there, don’t you know. And all it takes to really succeed is two horndog pervs and a camera with a remote zoom option! It’s thrilling, it’s rewarding, and best of all, it’s sexy. BJs, cowgirl, missionary — it’s all fair game so long as you get that cummy prize in the end. This blows the hottie babes of tennis off the court. (Although we do love you and your skirts and grunts, ladies of tennis). But yeah. This has to be our favorite spectator event.

Welcome to a little lovepile, courtesy of the 1970s. We’ve got babes lickin’ babes! Dudes bangin’ butts! Babes bangin’ themselves! And basically everything in between. But here’s the catch: is it all a dream? We don’t really care either way, because dreamland looks pretty darn real to us. And it’s the kind of dream we really like.

It’s the harmonious union of two of our favorite ladyparts with our hands-down favorite dude-part. It’s like a trinity of body-lovin’ goodness: hand, mouth, dick. How many ways can you put them together that we’ll enjoy? Probably any. But hand on dick positioning jizz to mouth is right up there.

We guess we’re really not all too familiar with Turkish culture when it comes down to it, but if this little modification of the standard 69 is any indication, they must typically be an inventive and delightful people. This is like a 69 with extra 1s and 5s thrown in or something — it’s got fingers in the bum; it’s got morphing into facedown doggystyle with dildo-on-prostate playtimes — in other words, it’s got it all.

We’d like to go to a naked pool party with Alexis Texas. That’d be great — we’ll bring the floaties! We’re really cool with Alexis’s guest of the day being Jayden Jaymes, though. You need nary a float around when their buoyant booties and lovely breasts join forces. And then they go down on your dick. Yeah, that’s poppin’ plenty quick.

Wow. Looks like it’s pretty nice to be Tony Ribas! There he is just minding his own business when all of a sudden he’s stormed by two busty brunettes on a mission to take him for their own. They wordlessly force him to turn his cock over to them — all of it — and take his face for a ride. He’s a good sport about it, though, which we think is the correct response.

Well, shit. Just look at that thing, will ya? We’re a little wide-eyed and awestruck… But Kiki Minaj jumps right into action. Apparently this shockingly-endowed fellow, Danny D, works from home and Kiki’s sick and tired of seeing him languish in front of the computer. So she decides to bang some life into him and, well, we think that’s a great idea. We work from home and wouldn’t mind hearing Kiki knock on our door. But we’re torn. Because our work-from-home work entails watching stuff like this, and delivering it to y’all. How would we reconcile these scenarios? Our worlds are conflating! Ahhh! We better take a minute, look at this big-ass cock, and breathe.

We kind of didn’t think about all the potential wrought within the piledriving pose — luckily, these two did. Why, look! You can piledrive a beej way down into your babe’s throat-hole, you can get a great new angle in pussy-jizzing, and (naturally) you can really engage in some great alternative dicking. Clever, clever amateurs — giving us something to strive for every day.

It’s a cycle that just makes sense. Although, to be fair, Debbie never actually makes it to Dallas in the flick. But it’s no matter, because we still found plenty of cause for the saucy self-doing. The BJs! The bush! The enthusiastic doggystyle, missionary, and cowgirl (appropriate) deep-dicking! It’s a rich and colorful tapestry of boning, we tell ya.

Yeah, people are all creaming themselves like crazy over the new Xbox Kinect, and sure, the new and improved sensing capabilities are pretty impressive. But we’ve been (literally) creaming ourselves over interactives for years — all thanks to the endless well that is POV porn.

On the one hand, we’re excited for Camille and all that this mainstream exposure means for such a daring and awesome independent pornographer. On the other hand, we’re excited for Playboy readers and the fellatio-loving population of the world, because those who don’t know Camille Crimson are sure to have their lives (and their loins) changed by this woman. The future is bright and blowjobby!

Maybe it’s because we’ve got open-air banging on the brain, but if we were this hottie fucking couple, we’d throw open the shutters and let the cool night air waft over our writhing, reverse cowgirling bodies. It adds a bit of dusky, twilight romance to the whole encounter.

Damn, homies, when’s the last time you watched some good cheerleader porn? When’s the last time you saw Sindee Jennings drench a man’s face and hands with her fountain of a fanny (in the British sense)? We’re betting it’s been a while since you’ve appreciated either of those pleasures, so we got them both right here, all wrapped up in a handy bit of 69ing. It’s the pill-shaped sex capsule of your dreams.

Well, doesn’t that sound like an idyllic sort of evening? We imagine you’ve just come home from the opera, those falsettos and trills really have you feeling pretty enlivened and lustful. You get home, toss away the binoculars, rip away your furs and tuxedo jackets, and head out to the sparkling night lights of the balcony.