Everyone knows the star tattoo is the millennial right of passage – it’s the butterfly tramp stamp for the alt set. But while many ladies have chosen to get nautical stars on their forearms or feet or bellies, Freja Beha Erichsen has one on her armpit.

Hey, remember when we took a look at Victor Lightworship’s beautiful bondage photography? Remember how you wanted to buy his book, “Strictly Bondage,” but it wasn’t in stores yet? Well now it is in stores! It’s big, long, sinister, and frankly, a lot more affordable than most coffee table books. (It’s also suitable for placement on whatever consensual human ottoman or nightstand you keep in your home!)

You might think Michea Crawford is being silly, but ask yourself this: if you get invited to the funeral of a famous modern dance choreographer who was known for highly eroticized performances, how are you going to dress? Yeah, that’s right, you’re going to dress just like Michea and the veil over your face will be swirled around like soft serve on the sexy cone that is your body.

Somebody is finally standing up to the sun and treating it like the continuous explosion of a massive fusion device that it is, and we’re glad that somebody is Cora Keegan with no clothes on. Nothing says, “Screw you and your sunspots and your helium” quite like the agonized arches of a naked model.

Do you ever find that you’re so tired, all you want to do is check into the nearest hotel and pass out naked on their clean sheets? It doesn’t matter if you’re in your hometown, you need the isolation, the anonymity, the strange whiff of shared sexuality that a hotel room offers. We need to believe we’re in a place where Cecilie has shrugged off her drowsiness with her nipples erect the whole time.

You know what? Everybody deals with chairs and tables differently and at different paces, and Polina has to do what she has to do. If she has to get totally naked and grind up on furniture until she figures it out or gets too full of splinters to keep trying, then gosh darnit, we’re going to watch. We owe that to her.

Lea Seydoux is one of those gals we can never get enough of, though sadly, there’s rarely much of her to go around. The last time we saw her was August of 2012–that’s too long for our liking! So when something like this happens, something like a few seconds of Lea taking off her top and letting her breasts briefly bounce, we have to make the most of it.

Truth be told, her steely gaze doesn’t make us feel all that welcome (nor does her Steely Dan), but those marvelous nipples of hers are skeleton keys that flip all the pins and shake every tumbler in our hearts. You could say that we’re suckers for puffy nipples, but that wouldn’t be quite right. We’re suckers of puffy nipples, ideally.

“Lotus Eaters” is essentially the story of bored rich kids trying to stave off malaise with drugs, sex, and jet-setting. It’s easy to blame the vapidness on the age of the characters (they’re all Millennials, whatever that means), but we think this movie shows us that people of every age solve their problems with the same set of tricks. How many generations have tried to find happiness by bathing five at a time in champagne and liquor?

We love tide pools! They’re tiny, rich, isolated worlds that come alive with the rhythm of the waves–just like Miranda Kerr. She might not have sea anemones and hermit crabs scuttling around her, but she still makes a very important dent in the sand, and we’d love to dip our hands into her cool, refreshing, educational waters.

You can tell Marsida is magic – maybe even a spirtual faery warrior princess – by the weird witchy things she’s doing with her arms. And by her alternating between a jeweled headband and strange animal headgear. And the fact that being outside laying on a rock makes her want to touch herself.

The last time we saw Jenny Sinakberg, she was chilling with some trees (of the arboreal variety, not the other kind), totally nude, getting her picture taken by Julie Pine, and making us want to rip off our clothes and join her in the wild. With this new glimpse of Jenny, we now know that this whole naked nature thing is a regular deal for her. That makes us love her ever more.

Babes posing next to cars? Played out. Babes next to motorcycles? Makes us concerned for their safety. Babes grinding on helicopters? Hell yes, they’re surprisingly safe, can fit an intimate pair, and evoke some Leonardo da Vinci vibes that we find incredibly sexy.

Don’t think about it too much, just say what comes to mind at first glance. What do you see in the first image? Tits? Very good, try the next one. Breasts again, uh huh. And the next one? Funbags. Do you mean bean bags? No. Still boobs. Tell us, how would you like to spend a week in observation in a nice hospital outside of town?

If you were Terry Richardson and you had Jessie Andrews at the Chateau Marmont for an evening, would you take a few pictures or hella pictures? Hella;, that’s what we thought. Naturally, Purple Diary can’t handle every last picture (no matter how special each image is) so the wheat must be separated from the chaff. We, however, are big time chaff munchers, and we’ll take any chance we can to see Jessie and Terry work together.

We know this spread already has many Abbey Clancys in it–two Abbeys in the mirror rubbing up on themselves, twenty Abbeys in two rows flexing their fine asses–but is that really enough? We think not. We could go for twice the Abbeys, thrice if you’ve got ‘em.

Wait, can we use Instagram as a verb? Anyway, Rihanna posted this photo to her Instagram account with the caption “I’m a fan of all my fans! They left the concert and went to #WERK #VIPtix #diamondsworldtour” but then took it down soon after. People saw the nipple piercing (which is beautiful) and then instantly assumed it was RiRi’s. But we know better than that–we know there should’ve been a tattoo beneath those boobs!

Feeling a bit of deja vu? Rightly so. We thought this model looked familiar, and then we realized that this is Ruby, the sex kitten we saw yesterday afternoon. Plus, this spread has the same stylist and makeup artist as the one before it. If it’s not broke, don’t fix–and this girl is definitely not broke.

Photographer/director Steve Diet Goedde is no stranger to the strange, so we’re none too shocked by the sight of a gorgeous woman stripping out of a panda costume. And if you like what you see, you have no need to be embarrassed–Caroline Aquino makes one hot panda! The only embarrassing part of all this is that in this post-4/20 world, we thought the title was a pun on “Pineapple Express.”

Textures! Textures make us happy, and the film Oli Sansom used to shoot Danielle Hayes brings so much life and emotion and palpable pleasure to the table. In some pictures, it helps unite Danielle with the dark so that the light-catching details jump out like islands in the night ocean. In others, it gives us synesthetic insight into the coarseness of her hair or the warmth of her bent knee.