It’s like Munch’s The Scream (of Nature), but with a good amount more jizz involved (we presume). And a little less terror. This babe isn’t overcome by the pandemonium of life’s tumult, no — rather, she welcomes the chaotic joy that is a bursting load of cum. And if this is the way in which she does it, that’s a-okay with us. It’s endearing. It’s artful. It’s Facial Friday.

Oh, you — you do. Well, good. Then there’s no issue here. From the sounds of it, you really like it. That’s great! We’re into that. We’re also into the cameraman taking it upon himself to rub one out while he’s watching. Kudos, sir!

We’re not sure we ever thought of anal fucking as demure, but hey, there’s a first time for everything! We love the very considerate and thoughtful way this dick enters this ass, like a gentleman courtier asking a lady for a dance. Although we’re not sure how well this particular kind of ass-dance would go over in the bygone courts of royal personages. Possibly famously! We mean, what else would people entertain themselves with before the internet? A real live royal ass-bang seems like quite the ticket.

It’s one of the funnest sports out there, don’t you know. And all it takes to really succeed is two horndog pervs and a camera with a remote zoom option! It’s thrilling, it’s rewarding, and best of all, it’s sexy. BJs, cowgirl, missionary — it’s all fair game so long as you get that cummy prize in the end. This blows the hottie babes of tennis off the court. (Although we do love you and your skirts and grunts, ladies of tennis). But yeah. This has to be our favorite spectator event.

This pussy is having a pretty great day as far as days for pussies go. It must be her birthday or something! Kook at all these lovely gifts: there’s a fun vibrating dildo all up in her business, and a hottie cock (and subsequent load) deep within her. We should have bought something; how inconsiderate. All we can offer is a very heartfelt fapalong. It beats a singing telegram! (We think). And it’s the thought that counts, anyway, right?

It’s the harmonious union of two of our favorite ladyparts with our hands-down favorite dude-part. It’s like a trinity of body-lovin’ goodness: hand, mouth, dick. How many ways can you put them together that we’ll enjoy? Probably any. But hand on dick positioning jizz to mouth is right up there.

We guess we’re really not all too familiar with Turkish culture when it comes down to it, but if this little modification of the standard 69 is any indication, they must typically be an inventive and delightful people. This is like a 69 with extra 1s and 5s thrown in or something — it’s got fingers in the bum; it’s got morphing into facedown doggystyle with dildo-on-prostate playtimes — in other words, it’s got it all.

That probably comes as a no-brainer. But we’re sometimes reminded that, despite all the hardcore fetishistic freaky stuff we’re into, all it takes to get us going is, simply, a babe in a chair. A babe who’s engaged in some fervent clit-rubbing. We’re pretty uncomplicated creatures when it comes down to it.

Ah, the thong — the sexiest and most adultlike of all underthings. It’s fetishized, it’s revered, it’s heralded in song by Sisqo. What is it that makes the thong such a popular little thing? We suppose it’s because all the world loves a booty, and the more booty up for grabs the happier we are. Naturally.

Okay, so we can’t say we know for sure what a facial from God would look like (a hurricane? monsoon season?) but with the celestial light surrounding this babe, we think she just might be an angel. Albeit one that’s dripping with a massive cumload, but that only serves to augment her ethereal beauty. Who needs flowing, silvery robes when you can have ropes of gossamer cum all up on your face? Nobody, that’s who! Oh, Facial Friday, we sing your praises.

Hey, sometimes the best part of vacation happens without leaving the confines of your hotel room. There’s premium cable, delectable room service, a king-sized bed, blackout curtains, and plenty of space for good lovin’. Now, maybe with the Empire State Building or the Champs-Élysées right out your window, you know, eventually you should get out there. But there’s nothing wrong with scheduling some bone-time in on your itinerary. We think it makes the whole trip go a bit more smoothly (and funly).

These guys. Oh, we could follow their sexual escapades forever. From her first delirious moans upon initial penetration, to him just railing on her from behind, there’s much to see and appreciate here. And with their creative camera positioning, we’re put in a great place to enjoy their positioning. Bring on your ass, your pussy, your hot, bushy chicks! Your ballsacks, your vibrators, your doggystyle dicks! Yeah, we like it all.

We kind of didn’t think about all the potential wrought within the piledriving pose — luckily, these two did. Why, look! You can piledrive a beej way down into your babe’s throat-hole, you can get a great new angle in pussy-jizzing, and (naturally) you can really engage in some great alternative dicking. Clever, clever amateurs — giving us something to strive for every day.

Together! And even if you’ve whacked off together dozens, scores of times, each trip to the fabled land of come-town is a different adventure — a bold, brash, beautiful journey. And its terminus is a hell of a lot funner than a trip to grandma’s. At least we think. Depending on the grandma. Yeah.

Yeah, people are all creaming themselves like crazy over the new Xbox Kinect, and sure, the new and improved sensing capabilities are pretty impressive. But we’ve been (literally) creaming ourselves over interactives for years — all thanks to the endless well that is POV porn.

There’s nary a thing like it — especially barebacked inside a babe. Now that’s a good jizz. It’s the kind of jizz that’s akin to eating dessert first, to diving in the deep-end, to dancing ’til the sun comes up. It just may be the greatest kind of jizz there is! Although we won’t hold ourselves to such blanket statements. We will verify that we’re really into it, though. (But what aren’t we into, really?).

Maybe it’s because we’ve got open-air banging on the brain, but if we were this hottie fucking couple, we’d throw open the shutters and let the cool night air waft over our writhing, reverse cowgirling bodies. It adds a bit of dusky, twilight romance to the whole encounter.

We’re quickly careening into summertime and with its sunny skies and warm breezes come a parade of picnics, pool parties, barbecues, patio drinking, and — for those adventurous friends among us — plenty of outdoor boning! So grab yourself a bratwurst and a keg beer and witness the beauty of nature in its full, full glory.

The happiest place on earth for any gal is probably wherever her Magic Wand happens to be. It certainly seems to have brought a smile to this babe’s face. Or at least an open-mouthed orgasmic moan as she fingers herself. Both work. Jumping upon a Magic Wand is basically the equivalent of zooming around Space Mountain, we think, although we’ve actually never been on the thing ourself. We can only imagine the rush, the thrill, the ups, the downs, the sheer and spectacular joy are sort of on par. Now if only there were a way to sneak a Wand onto the aforementioned coaster — although we don’t know if a body could even handle that kind of bliss. Worth a shot (but, uh, without any of those pesky kid things around).