We are forever striving to expand our knowledge on pornstars, and part of that effort is keeping up with the fresh faces. Tessa Lane caught our attention the other day when we saw her rubbing up on Manuel Ferrara in “Time for Change,” so we figured it’s time for her to have a Field Guide.
We realized that we live in a world, friends, where tits can now do the work of regular arms and hands. That fact is illustrated for us in this lovely titjob, and it’s got us thinking… What if tits could accomplish other feats normally reserved for different parts? Shaking hands would never be the same.
We’ve been feeling the first cool breaths of autumn wafting through the air, and it has us feeling slightly wistful for the blustery nights of winter. When it’s time to break out the hats, the scarves, the shearling gloves… or just warm your hands up in a sexy puss. That’s better than all those things, and warms ya from the inside out. Summer, we’re weepy to see you go, but winter, we’re ready for you.
(“Miami girls are just the sluttiest and the sexiest in the whole country,” Vela says. “They just don’t give a fuck”)
We’re onto you, Pure Filth Magazine, we see what you’re up to. You think you can just take Fleshbot’s former tagline (Pure Filth) and slap it on a publication about graffiti and photography? Well, you can. We were thinking about throwing a hissy fit but then we noticed that next issue’s cover is shot by Ellen Stagg. We approve of everything here, Pure Filth. Well done.
Well, this sure is neat! Lady Gaga often takes to her webcam to communicate with her fans, let them into her life, and air her thoughts on the greater Gagaverse, but we believe this is the first time she’s ever treated us to a series of boob flashes. Isn’t that nice of her?
What do Amanda Seyfried, Kim Kardashian, and Elizabeth Hurley all have in common? They all have sharp, stiff, and/or excited nipples poking through their clothes! Since these three women are displaying erect nipples, we imagine that all of Los Angeles is under a similar spell. We suspect global climate change is at work.
Gently up the stream… Oh wait, we mean roughly up the snatch. There are still plenty of merrily, merrilys to be had, and life is but a dream, but it’s the kind that involves cum-dripping pussies.
If this were a horror film, Alexis Texas and Kristina Rose would be agents of some sinister corporation trying to seduce Jules Jordan so they can use his body to feed aliens–only a truly gruesome end can come to the man who gets such high-quality monster movie ass! But don’t worry, Mr. Jordan will be fine. This is only a porno.
Who can forget the time that Stoya read us a book while being skillfully diddled with a Hitachi Magic Wand beneath the table? Nobody forgets something like that, and bless the gods, for Clayton Cubitt and company have more ladies to offer. Up next is the beautiful Alicia reading the poem “Song of Myself” by Walt Whitman until the only word she can say is “Yes!”
The workaday week can be such a bore (that is, unless you work at Fleshbot or Cirque du Soleil). Sure, spending time in the employee lounge can break up the humdrum hours of the day, but wouldn’t we be oh so much more ready to “kick some ass and take names” if we’d had a visit to the employee fuck lounge? The answer is yes.
I started keeping a sex journal over the summer. Inspired by some of the blogs I was reading, I wanted a record of some of the amazing experiences D and I were having (and continue to have). This happened a few nights after the events described in this post.
“I want to read your story from last night,” D said. I had just started the journal the night before.
“I want you to read my story and then I want you to fuck me,” I replied.
The only son of a powerful family has been spending all of his free time gambling away money in Tokyo, where he eventually meets Machiko, a gorgeous young pole dancer. The two of them start a purely physical fling, but soon it develops into something serious, and when they try to relocate to the young man’s hometown, his parents refuse to recognize the relationship. And so Machiko pole dances once more.
Just in case you didn’t believe us when we said that Kate and Pippa Middleton’s second cousin twice removed is a burlesque dancer, here are pictures of that woman, Katrina Darling, strutting her barely-clothed stuff for the Queen’s Jubilee. If you’re wondering what song she danced to, it was “God Save the Queen,” naturally.
We get in trouble in American society for being overindulgent, even gluttonous if you will. We like our sodas in tubs, our fries in a bucket, and our burgers piled with patties to the sky. But we’d bet that anyone who ventured into one of our McBabes wouldn’t bat a side-eye at an order of mondo-size titties. And, hell, make it four. That’s just how we do.
Yes, it’s that time of year again: the Gathering of the Juggalos is going on right now in Cave-In-Rock, Illinois, and Nate “Igor” Smith is there to document it for the third time. George Clinton, Master P, Cheech and Chong, and a bunch of other celebrities are there, but we’re mostly trying to see how the Wet T-Shirt Contest went down.
But that’s just one blogger’s opinion. You’ll probably want to consult a doctor or two before making any judgments about the stimulating properties of Erika Smith’s breasts, or, if you’re the cavalier type, you’ll just want to stare at them for yourself and see if it stirs anything up. It never hurts to try!