Sometimes when you’re leading a worldwide manhunt to find and capture terrorists all you have to keep you warm on a cold night is flashbacks. Luckily when you run them over and over again in your head they gain HD quality. Then you can enjoy nipple biting and hard thrusting with perfect clarity.

What is it about squeaky clean-looking girls that make you want to muss up their hair and cover them in cum and lube and spit and mud and whipped cream? Especially when they have sexy natural bodies like Ms. Funes. There’s just something about being human that makes us want to corrupt and conquer. It’s our Manifest Destiny to lay you down in that bathtub, Tania.

There are these super creepy ads for “Boss” all over the subway right now, with Kelsey Grammer brandishing a meat hook and all the other characters strung up next to dead cows. We’re sure this has something to do with a critique of capitalism, but we really think pictures of

Sex is one of the greatest things to do on this planet (if you don’t agree then you are on the wrong blog, sir). That’s why we love to see a lady enjoying sex to its fullest. That’s how you know you’re doin it right! Somebody should give this girl a contract. She moans, she squeals, she changes positions, she makes eye contact, and she clearly loves that cock inside her. And she’s insatiable, which is pretty much the hottest thing a gal can be.

We’ve finally figured it out. Terry Richardson is the Woody Allen of photography. He’s got a signature style (read: one trick pony) and despite not being particularly attractive himself, manages to inspire the world’s most gorgeous and talented women to stare into his camera in their very littlest attire with their very, very best “I love you let’s fuck” face (read: contract with the devil). (We’re positive this is the same contract with the devil Robert Johnson made to play guitar so fucking good.)