So a babe lounges naked on a chair and… Oh, we forgot the punch line. But we’ve got the babe!

Naturally we’re big ol’ hos for a little in-out action. However, we also appreciate the exquisite, almost excruciating tease of seeing just the face of a MILF as she’s getting her MILF snatch stuffed by a hefty cock.

It’s so simple, yet so effective: get oiled up, slide all the way down the shaft, then do a subtle shimmy. This is basically a patented Lexi move that she does so fine it may as well be her namesake. We never really thought of there being such a thing as an instructional GIF, but leave it to Ms. Diamond to open our eyes and vaginas to the possibility. We’ll practice this like it’s . And when we’re experts, pulling out this move will make doing the Truffle Shuffle or the Tonya Harding, like, so lame.

Jessie Lee & Jasper Trash, Photo via Stagg Street

Nina Hartley and Ron Jeremy are such talented kids; why couldn’t “Nina Loves Ron” give them the star vehicle they deserve? It’s still good, but it could have been pretty awesome.

We think we can easily say that this is the most beautiful woman to ever put on a shirt backwards. Anyone want to debate this point? We’d be happy to discuss it with you right after we pick our jaws up off the floor and stop our hands from impulsively drawing Shanina’s ass on every surface available. Our bodies are out of control, and it’s all thanks to one model, one photographer, and the good graces of GQ Italia.

We’ve been interested in bikies ever since we first learned that bikie was a term, thanks to the naked people over at “Underbelly” (more specifically, the people involved in “Bikie Wars: Brothers at Arms”), so we thought it’d be fun to take a look at a lovely bunch of nudity from one of the spiritual predecessors to “Bikie Wars,” this 1974 Australian film called “Stone.”

What do you call a person who has sex with a bicycle? There’s no punchline here, we just want to know if there’s a word for what this woman is doing or if we have the burden/honor of coming up with it ourselves. We thought she was just stripping around the bike, but that all changed when she started pumping air into the tires. Oh God that pumping.

We’ve all heard of cloud nine, but cloud 69 is far better. It’s a cloud that’s all silver lining, and that lining is in the shape of two hotties engaged in mutual oral affection. So let’s all float across the skies of lust on a fluffy cumulonimbus of love, shall we?

This is only the second movie in this series, but we’re already in love with this vagina-on-vagina-centric Greek organization. It has the hottest girls, non-stop sex, and we hear that they’re dedicated to philanthropy, too! Last month’s Lick-a-Thon raised over $500 for NARAL; Lily LaBeau couldn’t walk straight for a week, but it was totally worth it.

Remember how awesome it was when Camille Crimson gave sex advice to all of us? Well, good news: she’s back to make that column a regular Fleshbot feature!

Now that the Olympics are over, where are we supposed to get our thrills? Where can we find powerful bodies performing unimaginable feats while hoping that they show some skin? These are sad times for us Fleshbotters. Fortunately, action movies are always available on Netflix, and they’re quite often rich with flesh.

I stripped and slipped into the covers, naked, next to him. His skin was so warm. I’d been up for hours, having awakened with the sunrise, waiting for a suitable hour to slide back next to him and wake him gently.

Everybody craves that stuff, it’s human nature, and although we don’t know much about the good people who work at Richardson, we know that they have a better grip on the appetitive parts of the mind than your pituitary gland. So, once again, they’ve forged a chaotic sword of sex and ‘splosions so they might slice through the boredom of your day. Watch and appreciate.

Michelle Rodriguez, we value you, and we wish we had given you a bouquet of roses. However, you already have roses, and you already have nipples, and you’re wearing a translucent shirt, and we simply do not know what we can do for you now. How about a foot massage?

We know that going all out in a rollicking ass fuck can be a tiring endeavor. But that’s why it’s great to have friends who are ready to step in and lend a hand (or dong) to the effort of making sure Amy Brooke’s ass doesn’t go unoccupied. Because that would be a tragedy of the first degree.

We’re tempted to file this one under “What Is This I Don’t Even…” but if you looked us in the eyes and told us that Linda Evangelista spends her non-modeling hours by dressing up in vinyl, latex, and other fetish fabrics, dazzling bank robbers with her conical tits, and beating them up, we’d believe you. She’s Linda Evangelista!

We normally lament the way that horror movies always target sexually active babes, but this is meta-horror, and one of the reasons that Anna Hutchison takes her top off the middle of the forest is because a hidden team of operators have been pumping mood altering drugs into the environment in order to create the perfect teen slasher scenario.