Things (and babes) have a way of falling into place.

Since we’re already feeling pretty bathy today (maybe we’re in need of some R&R?) we figured we’d carry the theme onward. Two people in the bath are really more fun than one, right? Especially when the tub is bigger than our entire New York City bathroom.

Slow motion technology was invented way back in the early 1900s by Austrian priest August Musger. Since then it’s been used to great effect for capturing things like droplets of water falling to the ground, bullets going through glass, and which horse wins the Derby by a nose. We’re not sure if Father Musger expected his concept would extend into the realm of the unwholesome, but here we are. And now we can see the exact point of impact between fat-ass cock and patiently waiting pussy. We’d venture to say it’s more beautiful than a Derby pony shooting bullets in the rain.

Lady Lauren, Photo by Ellen Stagg

Aleska Diamond, pantieless in a ridiculously form-fitting blue dress, pulls a “Basic Instinct” in a Budapest cafe. Book your tickets now.

A certain friend of mine sent me the attached bit of hotness. She generously consented to my sharing it with you. I fucking love reading about orgasms. I hope you find this as insanely hot as I do. There’s a giant “[sic]” at the end. I thought of editing it, but decided it read better un-edited.

To be named a Juliland jGrrl of the Month once is to be lucky; to manage the feat twice is to be good. To manage it five times? Well, then you’re the goddess-like being that is Audrey Bitoni…and mortals like us can only begin to attempt to describe your greatness (though these photos should give you some idea).

We generally think of cowboys as a no frills kind of lot, but we guess if you’re the ass-dildo peggin’ sort a few frills come with the territory. Frills like double doozy cock rings and an extra set of hands on your junk.

Male superiority and dominance is absolute bull mess, and any social or political institution that prolongs the agony of women by restricting their bodily freedoms, giving them unfair pay, or otherwise treating them as inferior creatures must be dismantled and used to give Jessie Andrews head.

It’s a beautiful bikini, don’t get us wrong–we love the color working with her skin, and the way the chains press into her thigh flesh is quite nice–but sooner or later, it shall reveal parts of Joanna Krupa’s anatomy that Joanna Krupa may not want revealed. Or maybe she does want them revealed! Who knows? We forgot everything we knew when we saw Joanna rubbing sunscreen on her chest.

We’re good people. We pay our taxes, we never litter, and the last time we broke a law was when we jaywalked in California ten years ago and it haunts us, so we’re not exactly the criminal types. That being said, we often fantasize about being all sinister and shady because everybody knows that it’s attractive and everybody wants to bang the bad boy/girl/whatever. Today, we’re giving our imaginations a break, kicking back, and watching a diabolical double feature.

“Lena” is about a pretty and pleasantly plump young woman who is lonely, insecure, and suddenly involved in a relationship with a popular boy. She ends up living at his house with his creepy father and, as you probably guessed, Lena doesn’t have the greatest time. So, can we please put the plot aside for a second and groove upon Emma Levie’s voluptuous body?

We’ve never seen “Home and Away,” the super popular and extremely long-running Australian soap opera set in New South Wales, but perhaps we ought to start. Samara Weaving plays a woman named Indigo Walker (great name, right?) and she recently had quite the extended nip slip on set. Maybe this means accidental exposure will be woven into the show!

When we visited Prague back in the day, we discovered in our hostel room a trio of drunken frat boys and a sad old lady. If we instead had discovered two sexy lesbians making out, well, we might have spent a lot more time at the inn.

Our society puts so many restrictions on nipples and we don’t know why. Who are nipples hurting? Has anyone had their eye poked out by an errant boob? The people who think nipples are evil are the same people who tell you that pointing is rude. Forget that crap. We come from hunter-gatherers, pointing is everything.

The Ecole Nationale d’Administration (ENA) is a prestigious school through which students gain access to the highest echelons of civil service, and it’s pretty much expected that graduates will end up running the government in some form. In order to avoid being intoxicated with dreams of power, the students are encouraged to sleep with each other; it’s good for the soul!