Because without them, we wouldn’t have a place to rest our sleepy heads… Or lounge our babely bodies.

We can hardly think of a better way to show appreciation for one embracing her MILFly ways than with a mega-load to the face. Maybe there should be a whole subcategory of MILFs — Moms I’d Like to Facialize. Oh, but that acronym is also MILF. Too confusing. How about Moms I’d Like to Shoot My Megaload All Over?

It’s pretty safe to say most folks are head over heels for a good BJ. But the HJ needn’t take a backseat all the time! There are plenty of boons to hand-jerkin’ it, one of the finest being the opportunity for sustained, close-up, intensive eye contact that can take a sexual connection far beyond the smashing of parts. The eyes are the window to the soul… and if that soul is a particularly slutty one, those windows can be pretty steamy indeed.

Sabrina Santos (foxhq.com)

It’s a sunny day in a big, comfortable, cluttered bedroom, and the adorable 27-year-old French pornstress Liza Del Sierra has no fewer than three pieces of equipment hammering out an orgasm for her.

We don’t know if these actually show Loui Batley, but to be fair, we don’t know much about Ms. Batley in the first place. A quick Google search taught us that she’s a popular British singer, dancer, and actor who’s best known for her role on the soap “Hollyoaks,” and if these pictures are indeed hers, then they have taught us that Loui knows how to cut loose and have a damn good time.

This Todd guy has a very important job that keeps him in the public’s eye, and he can’t afford to be seen in any compromising positions. Nope, this district attorney should not be cheating on his wife with a PYT like Sadie Alexander, especially not when Sadie is in cahoots with his wife for some sinister reason that involves blackmail, murder, and safe cracking. We sure hope Todd keeps his head together and his pants on.

In the thrilling sequel to Chris Nieratko’s intimate interview with legendary pornstar Joanna Angel, our Supreme Commandress learns that baking cookies can be therapeutic, and provides an intimate and open venue for the airing of misery. Finally, this naked, tattooed goddess can heal from the three hours of anal sex she was paid to have with a flaccid penis.

Come paddle, switch, or cat o’ nine tails, certain asses just beg for a little larruping. Hell, even a hand will do in a pinch. But the best implement of all might be your pelvis smacking against that fine specimen of ass as you take it from behind.

Is she? Don’t be embarrassed, we think it’s awesome that your wife (or girlfriend, or life partner) was down to take one of the thickest dicks in the adult industry inside her mouth and pussy, and we think you’re awesome for sitting there and watching it happen. These stories might not get any Pulitzer Prizes, but everybody who takes part in them is forever a winner in our hearts.

Over the years, we’ve seen Coco’s tits, ass, ass, ass, and more ass–but, as far as we can recall, we’ve never gotten a glimpse at her lady bits. Apparently the fates were not happy with that arrangement: thanks to a chance gust of wind (or some other act of nature), we have now seen all of Coco…and, not surprisingly, we’re really, really hoping this isn’t a one time engagement.

Oh, golly. We don’t have to tell you what kind of stuff goes down when Terry Richardson shares a hotel room with a young babe, but in case you’ve forgotten, here’s what happened when such a scenario included Lindsay Lohan. And in case you’ve forgotten what happened the last time Terry saw Jessie Andrews, here’s that information as well. You have already predicted what this gallery looks like.

I stood at the mirror, washing the day off my face, telling him the mundane details of the last several hours. Went here, did that, bought this, ate lunch with her, and so on. He murmured uh huh, oh yeah, really at the right moments, but I don’t think he was paying attention. Just as he was trying to pretend I wasn’t spewing workaday facts about my day, I was trying to pretend that he hadn’t just dropped his shorts and shoved my dress up around my waist. My panties were already MIA.

Yes, it’s Lilith! In the middle of the vampires’ massacre of a wedding, she coagulates from a pool of blood, walks around the room, and incites her followers to keep feeding on their lifeless victims with nothing more than a hemoglobin-rich breath. And did we mention that she’s completely naked and very pretty?

Sometimes we feel like God favors the paparazzi. How else could they always manage to be in the right place when things like this happen? Sure, there are probably millions of skinful moments that no camera captures, but as long as one lens lingers by the ocean and sees Christina Milian readjusting her bikini top, we consider the paparazzi blessed. More importantly, we feel blessed.

Enjoys the mutually beneficial effects of shared hobbies and interests, while also getting the hottest cock together? It’s unconventional, yes, but when you’re part of a foxy familial tag team of horny Latin mothers and daughters, everyday routine gets a lot more seductive.

If a magazine tells you that its pages are filled with gorgeous naked women, including (but not limited to) the super hot singer from Aqua, you might pick it up but you might not. But how do you feel when you see a hottie reading a magazine with her nipples out? Will this make you buy the magazine?

We have to admit it: we were worried that Mary-Louise Parker didn’t want to show any nudity this season and was going to leave the skin and kink up to ladies like Kat Foster. We’re so happy to be wrong! Look at Mary-Louise’s boobs as she glides through the water, and then say a little prayer of thanks to the gods of Showtime.