This is one hard-working ass — but that lucky pussy gets all the spoils! But you know what they say. All’s fair in love-juice and war, and it’s extra fair for us because we get to see a pussy get facialized.

The thrill of the wind coursing through your locks is made ever more exhilarating when it happens as the result of a raucous cowgirl ride. This babe is buckin’ like a bronco with a case of bloodlust. We’re almost afraid, but remain solidly in the realm of awe for her erotic acrobatics. We want to grab our lassos and pull her over to take a turn on us….

(fm-teens.com)

Phoenix Marie ditches her husband to make a play for a very appreciative Mr. Marcus in “Housewives Gone Black 14.” Maybe it isn’t a post-racial America after all.

Short version: Ashley Hinson’s boobs are in “About Cherry” and we’re having a great time looking at them. Long version: “About Cherry” is said to be Stephen Elliott’s love letter to San Francisco, and looking at this uncensored trailer makes us realize that every love letter should include Ashley Hinson’s boobs.

In Bobbi’s first film, we watched as the sinister Ms. Starr subjected Lea Lexis, Chanel Preston, and Phoenix Marie to a panoply of teases and tortures under a high-powered hose, and even though the three girls were all tied up, it seemed fine because they were together united in bondage and submission. However, in this new scene, Bobbi frees Chanel and Phoenix from their ropes and has them take advantage of Lea. So much for that solidarity!

Do you ever sit at home, idly wondering what it might be like to get your hands on (and in) the likes of Stoya, Jesse Jane, and Riley Steele? Don’t deny it: of course you do. We all do. Unfortunately, most of us won’t be able to experience those luscious ladies firsthand; but at least we can live vicariously through Kayden Kross, who’s banged all of the above–and is more than happy to tell tales out of class.

We thought the spirit of dance was lying dormant within us… But it looks like all it takes to reawaken the beast is some remixed pop tunes — and a little inspirational tango between a hard, tattooed cock and a hot lady.

India Summer doesn’t know what to do about her rebellious son, Richie Deville, but when Veronica Avluv comes to visit with her husband, India hopes her boy might benefit from the positive male influence in the house. Oh, Richie benefits all right–more like, his mother’s best friend with benefits!

For a good long while, it seemed like we couldn’t go online without running into a picture of Lady Gaga’s bits–and then, with no explanation, the fountain of Gaga goodness suddenly dried up. Now, slowly but surely, the bounty seems to be returning. Has Gaga taken pity on her flesh deprived fans? Is she promoting a new album? Honestly, we don’t care what the reason is…we’re just glad those nipples are back in the public eye.

Or do! We suppose we can’t tell you what to think about while you’re having sex, primarily because it’s not our business, also because you sometimes can’t help where your mind goes. Anyway, we can tell that this man is headed in a bad direction, because he’s having sex with a mafia princess-turned-queenpin while fantasizing about his ex-girlfriend, the detective who asked him to dig up info on the mafia. This can’t end well for him.

“That was maybe the best orgasm ever.”

“What made it so best?” I ask, knowing there have been lots of “bests.”

Greek letter societies have been around since the 1700s, but the first organizations looked nothing like the frats and sororities we have today. Times change, universities change, but one thing stays the time: people are always going to want to see college-aged babes naked. If they had naughty sex romps in the eighteenth century, they’d probably look exactly like the films we chose for you today.

Dude, poor Maria Fowler. Just as she steps out of the cab, her butt breaks through her skirt, revealing itself (and her thong) to the cameras; the comedic timing on this is so insane that it makes us believe in a god of mischief. Did Maria do something to make her booty upset, or are all butts secretly malicious?

As far as responsibilities of an employee go, being made to ride your boss’s cute little feet til you come doesn’t seem too bad. Hell, we’d even work as an unpaid intern for that kind of experience.

What is it about an athlete’s body that inspires such awe? Even when they’re perfectly still, they exhibit grace and power that makes us want to bow down and worship them as demigods–they’re like living Greek statues. And when we see them naked, well, then, let’s just say we get really excited for the Olympics.

After all, Micaela Schaefer was nice enough to take a shower in front of millions of people on the German “Big Brother,” and we got to see her wash all her nooks and crannies (ooh, lady crannies), so the least we can do is film ourselves showering and send it to her. It’s not about being a creep, it’s about solidarity.