We understand that surprises can be, well, surprising. But when it comes to facials, though you may not know exactly the moment jizz-to-face contact will happen, we’ve learned to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Because a little cum in the eye never hurt anybody.*
We’re curious as to the secrets and mysteries that lie hidden in the depth’s of this babe’s gullet, because it’s obviously a cavern of wonder. Maybe it’s always held the answer to the Higgs boson particle. Or maybe it just has an outlandish capability to stave off a gag reflex. Either way, it’s adding a lot to the landscape of our collective comprehension. Or, incomprehension. Because… how the hell she do that?
Fleshbot West is “vacationing” in Arizona and is amazed by the local rancor over a recent Supreme Court decision. But in the case of “Tits v. Ass,” I assure you the healing can begin.
Do you remember Aqua, the band that brought the world “Barbie Girl”? Did you know that their lead singer, Lene Nystrøm, is a straight-up babe, and that she posed naked for S Magazine? Honestly, we always thought Lene was a cutie (at least, back when we knew her as “that girl from Aqua”), but we had no idea what we were missing.
What’s your deal, Terry? You shows us a bunch of naked pictures of the ravishing Robyn last week and didn’t tell us a thing about her, and now you have Mariana pulling down her vinyl dress to reveal her huge breasts and neatly-trimmed pubes and we still don’t know what’s going on. Just give us a few deets! We’re trying to find new girlfriends network here!
We didn’t think it was possible, but after watching Vice’s interview with Andy San Dimas, we might love that lady even harder. For real: we could listen to her talk forever. If you’ve ever wondered how Andy first got interested in porn, how she feels about her peers and fans, or how she got revenge against some doppelganger during a throatfucking scene, then you absolutely have to watch this.
Along with loyalty and being a good listener, generosity is a grand quality in a friend. Especially when it extends to one’s ample rack and letting one’s best mates fuck it. That’s what friends are for, right?
You know the stuff that collects between your toes? We’re calling that “schmutz” now, “toe schmutz” if you want to be specific, because that gunk is nothing like jam, jelly, or marmalade. From now on, when you say “toe jam,” you will be referring to the act of jamming your toes in someone’s mouth while they fuck you. Somebody tell the dictionary people to note these changes.
We know, we know–we’ve already spilled almost a quart of (digital) ink waxing poetic about Kate Upton’s GQ shoot–could there really be that much more to say about one magazine spread? Up until about two minutes ago, we probably would have said no–but then we saw this awesome outtake.
Everybody loves a threesome, yes, but there’s something quite special about the male-male-female configuration. It’s like the Double Stuf Oreo of the sexual world. Some may claim it crosses into overindulgence, but we don’t buy it. We’re in the business of treating ourselves from time to time, calorie counts and monosexual tradition be damned!
Listen carefully, boy. I’m going to tell you what I want, so pay attention.
I’m feeling restless and selfish and I want your mouth. I need you to make me come.
Nadir Caselli–actress, model, former linguistics major, a lady you should know–is standing in front of you, brushing her lips against yours, and then pulls away so she can take off her top. Here’s where we start to get anxious: is it better to maintain eye contact with her, or do you give in to the overwhelming urge to watch as her breasts are unveiled?
We don’t really know what prompted Lady Gaga to walk through the airport with her translucent panties visible through her sheer tights, her bra out, and her middle fingers in the air, but we imagine she was singing, “Gaga, ooh la la! Want your lip slip!” or something like that.
Queens get a lot of flack in this day and age: they’re elitist, a challenge to democracy, and serve as nothing but ineffectual figureheads. But not all queens are this way! Some maintain a daily role in the business of the people, and our Queen of the Strap-On has a direct hand in ensuring their well-being. Specifically the naked lesbian babe faction.
When Igor first shot photos of that heart-nippled beauty known as Angel Beau, he wasn’t too happy with the location, and he promised us that he would soon shoot her again. Yea, the second coming of Angel Beau has happened, and she materialized in a spooky warehouse full of office supplies and dangling chains upon which she may grind.
We know that there was bondage long before there was “Fifty Shades of Grey,” but we can’t help draw a line between “Weeds” (which is about a total MILF who sells pot) and E.L. James’s novel (which is read by MILFs all over the world). Are we a little bummed that Nancy isn’t the one in shackles? Yes, a little, but we can’t complain when Kiki looks so hot in that position.
