When it comes to age-based niches of the porn industry, there are really only two options: teen and cougar (or MILF). We’ve discussed the possibility of a middle stage between the two extremes, but that’s not what we’re here for right now. Today we’re going to spend some time thinking about the youth, the tropes of blossoming libidos, and how a performer’s age pretty much has nothing to do with being labelled a horny teen.
As much as we love artisanal farmstead products, we prefer to see cowgirls do the milking. With their vaginas. And for the milkee to be a rotund cock ready to spurt cascades of creamy, wet cum. Doesn’t that sound more exciting?
Give it a poke, in fact, give it twenty pokes. Watch it bounce back, notice how your finger causes a ripple–or doesn’t–in the flesh. Consider your own personal preferences: do you like your meat rare, medium, or well-done? If you don’t eat meat, think about peaches and plums. Actually, don’t think about food, think about butts. Stay focused. All this stress will be worth it when you sink your teeth into the perfect posterior.
Pride of Honduras Emy Reyes declares she brings “the whole package” in “Latin Mouth Club” and we believe her.
Sure, Fleshlight has the Fleshlight Girls, but Tenga has a new line that’s branded with the works of Keith Haring. You know, for those who like to mix their appreciation of the art of masturbation with their appreciation of, uh, art. Dying to know what it’s like to fap with a Haring work? Never fear: our friends at Animal New York investigated for you. (Animal New York)
Every time we get an email from Joshua Darling about the new goings on at Darling House, our pants instantly tighten with excitement. This latest batch of updates is amazing: four fabulous photographers present five galleries that range from the playful and vibrant to the enigmatic and spankable. We don’t know how we’re to go about spanking a gallery of photos, but we’re going to try!
If you’ve always wanted to participate in an office bracket but don’t feel a personal stake in the NBA (minus NBA Jam), dry your tears because here’s a knockout tournament right in our wheelhouse. It pits Euro porn babe against Euro porn babe, and we’re down to the semifinals.
We all know that sexiness + good times = 69. Because as fun as it is to be on the receiving end of oral pleasure, it’s only sustainable if one also acts as giver. But why not TCB all around and do some simultaneous give and take? It’s the circle of smut — the fuel that feeds the flame that feeds the fire and back again.
Looking at the Mile High Media title list as a whole, you can see that “Mom & Dad Are Fucking My Friends” has scenarios similar to those found in “Filthy Family” and “Couples Seeking Teens,” but with a way different flavor. While the latter two franchises involve elder lovers making amends with/emotionally supporting their teenaged partners, these “Mom & Dad” types are only focused on fucking the youngsters–straight up fucking.
Fleshbot’s 2011 Crush Object Of The Year and beautiful porn creator Camille Crimson has just launched a brand new site, Slow Motion Blowjob. Is slower really sexier? Her thoughts below (and a teaser above).
I don’t need candy and chocolates or other ridiculous symbols of consumer culture romanticism. What I do need is your slow, easy touch. The feel of your fingertips as you brush the hair from my forehead and replace it with a kiss.
When we first saw this clip from “Trippin’”–in which the beautiful Lindsay Robertson smashes her boobs against the rear window of a van for the amusement of all–we figured the movie was about good times shared by friends in the wilderness. Actually, it’s a horror film! So we’re wondering how, if at all, Lindsay’s boobs contribute to the doom of the campers.
We don’t know (and we don’t care) what exactly happened between Paris Hilton and a photographer in the parking lot of a nightclub, but we have to give props to the paparazzi who were able to separate themselves from the scuffle, keep their heads up, and snap pictures of Paris’s panties. You don’t find dedication like that just anywhere.
It’s like going to the babe store and picking out a lovely lady with whom to act out your mutual fantasies. She’s like a blow-up doll brought into freaky, sexually audacious reality. And we sort of want to rub our parts all up and down her obviously bangin’, plasti-wrapped body.
Behold, the ruthless pillager turned noble adventurer is in a new chapter of life, and she has tossed her armor aside. Fret not, for Xena hasn’t given up the way of the warrior, she’s just realized that the tight leather duds get make it hard to go down on Gabrielle. Friends, this is a porn parody that powerfully needed to be made.
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: two writers–one a seventy year-old poet and the other a thirty year-old novelist–are both in love with the same teenaged girl, and so they explore and express their feelings for her by having a lot of sex. There’s no punchline there because it’s no joke. Sometimes words can’t do a thing, and only flesh will communicate your true feelings.
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