We were checking out Elegant Angel’s blog the other day, and we stumbled across a giant picture of a jaw-droppingly gorgeous woman under the heading, “Wow. Megan Vaughn!” Once we figured out the post had nothing to do with “World of Warcraft,” we decided to learn more about this cutie and devote a Field Guide to her.

Octomom (Nadya Suleman) has done what she said she would never do; porn. Although this is a solo scene, she does get very into it with her hands. She made three different scenes and there is a pretty long interview at the end of the tape. Check it out from Wicked today!

Vaginas — what can’t they do? We’re sure most snatches of the world are utilized for their usual (yet still awesome) abilities. But certain others are overachievers, going above and beyond the call of duty like the little Kerri Strugs of the pussy-poppin’ world.

Earlier today, we asked you if you were getting tired of seeing Kate Upton’s boobs through a thoroughly soaked T-shirt, and so far, no one has responded with, “Yes! Enough of Upton!” We haven’t had any requests for more Kate Upton either, but when we ask ourselves–in the heart of our hearts–if we’re tired of seeing stuff like this, we hear a booming “No!” and also, “You shall post that GIF of Kate Upton!” and also the voice sounds like Ian McKellen.

Crash, photo by Ellen Stagg

We don’t want to put the burgeoning “How To Give A Blowjob” industry out of business (since that’s the sole source of income for most of our friends), but seriously: Just Watch Ashley Fires.

Given her busy schedule of making Lifetime movies and whatever else she does, you might assume that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have much time for her friends. But you’d be wrong, dear reader: Lindsay’s well aware of the importance of pals…especially pals, like Terry Richardson, who will take very, very sexy pictures of her and post them on the internet.

Lauren Carre, a contestant on the UK version of “Big Brother” (which has been and always will be better than the American version), was looking to get a little massage from a housemate and wanted to make sure her boobs stayed out of sight. Her hands and cleverly-placed scarf did not defend her cans from the cameras, and thus, we have a glimpse of her nipple. God bless “Big Brother UK.”

Hi, babes are hot. Babes naked-gyrating and rubbing their pussies on each other is so hot it almost makes our face melt. But we’ll try to keep our features in place so we can fully take in this gritty vid of blazin’ babes getting their trib on. We need all our senses for this… primarily our sense of fap.

Medieval scholars and theologians pondered this question for years, but they were far too prudish to whip out their wangs and do the math. Fortunately, Mike Adriano has all of Thomas Aquinas’s brilliance and none of his hangups, so he’s stacking as many hot teens on the tip of his turgid cock as he can!

Fleshlight already boasts an impressive bunch of masturbation sleeves painstakingly modelled after pornstar body parts, but people–eternally aroused people–are always wondering which babe will next go under the plaster. Wonder no more, horny masses, because Nina Hartley went to Texas to duplicate her orifices for your wanking pleasure!

They say when one wears a mask it acts as a cloak of anonymity, letting one’s true self come out to play. Thankfully these devious erotic dynamos have traded the cloak for lacy underthings, and are getting their unbridled fuck on with the help of a little sexual camouflage.

Oh Sexy Lady,

You got so tantalizingly close to surrendering the last of your clothes and letting your neighbors have their way with you. My entire body has been throbbing ever since. And ever since I’ve wanted you with a passion that has a newly sharp edge. I know: promises, promises. But seeing you step so close to the edge of a new world of erotic possibilities has gotten me lusting for every last inch of your flesh. I know that if I knocked on your door and found you standing there in a famously skimpy robe, I wouldn’t be able to help myself. That famously skimpy robe would be in tatters, and my mouth would be all over you.

We know that we already showed you a little behind-the-scenes footage of Kate Upton’s photoshoot in the latest GQ, so we hope you don’t mind us posting another video of Kate doing her thing. This is all about her talents: running in a bikini, hula hooping in a bikini, having her boobs fall out on a rollercoaster, and looking great in a wet T-shirt. Let us know if you’re tired of seeing Kate Upton in a wet T-shirt, because we’ll totally stop.

We don’t know what it is about the angle of the sun, the material on Rihanna’s shirt, and the shape of her boobs working together here, but this somehow seems different. Instead of turning the fabric totally translucent and revealing the tasty flesh beneath, it’s like the rays of light are caressing and nuzzling her clothes in order to give us a shimmery, almost liquid representation of her tits.

Oh, look! Anna’s playing secretary, fucking her way up to the board room by, well, fucking the entire board, it seems. And all at once! Now that’s the kind of go-get-’em gumption we like to see.

It’s Tuesday, and you know what that means: it’s the lamest day of the week. Why bother getting up? You can simply stay in your big comfy bed and Monika Witowska will join you via satellite for a topless snuggling conference that will make Wednesday come far too quickly. She even has a cat with her; its name is Butter!

“Love Actually” was a great movie; it was sweet, funny, and had an absolutely charming cast. However, it was definitely missing something, and we’ve been trying to discover what that something is for years (fact: we’re obsessed with rom-coms). Turns out that all it was missing was a hot, unsimulated blowjob!