No panties, no tops, no dresses, no skirts… It all works for us.

Ah, we’ve made it. As Friday night draws nigh, we shut the book on the work week and our minds begin to wander. Wander to exploring the assholes of our friends and loved ones, and being taken to the heights of corporeal pleasure through a little flick of the backdoor.

Sometimes, if you really want that cream inside your pussy, you have to take matters into your own hands. Then again, maybe she’s not trying to make her man come, but merely teasing him with his tip in her twat. Regardless of the rhyme or reason behind this moment, it is a beautiful and creative act, and deserves a special euphemism. We’re going to call it “sweetening the stamen.”

Erika F.

“Clipped Chicks” is about the skillset required to fuck women past the clothespins.

We don’t know what it is about that letterman jacket, but Amber Rose looks so fine when she’s wearing it. Actually, she looks fine all the time. Actually, we do know what it is about that jacket: it allows our eyes to nuzzle the spot between her beautiful boobs and make us feel like we’re back in high school, drooling over the hot jocks (including, but not limited to cheerleaders).

The last time we saw stuff from Treats! we were, well, a little bit scared. That spread was a little Satanic, and not in the friendly way. Anyhow, now we have Enya, some gentle fabrics, an autumnal tree, and shadow puppets splayed across her pubic region. Doesn’t that sound soothing and free of demonic influence?

We’re into topless handies by sullen-faced starlets, don’t get us wrong. But we’re also very much into cramming enormous black cock into our mouth and up our wet pussy. They’re both cool.

You guys, we don’t know if you’ve seen these Europorn babes recently, but they’re out of control. It’s not like they’re rebelling against their parents or partying late into the night; they’re randomly and very suddenly attacking each other, specifically in the genitals, specifically with their tongues and fingers. Doctors suggested that these might be signs of bath salt abuse, but we’re pretty sure these ladies are just lezzing out hardcore. It happens, you know?

We’ve passed the summer solstice and daylight again grows shorter. But we’re not fretting, because that means night sets in a bit earlier every day. And along with the cover of night comes a whole host of dirty deeds that might seem uncouth under the harsh light of the morning…

I lay on my back, propped up with a couple of pillows, my knees bent and spread open. I slip the cold, clear glass between my lips, splitting myself open with the tip, dipping it just inside my cunt and sliding the slick wetness over my clit. Solid and cold, resembling an obscene icicle, the dildo finds its home deep inside me, the cool round bulges bumping over my overheated g-spot with each pump. Pressing the vibrator to my clit, I work both together in a rhythm. The glass presses the spot inside while the vibrator circles the other half of the whole outside.

Veronica Avluv used to do foot fetish and bondage modeling, but after she got a chance to talk about hardcore performance with Dylan Ryder and Diana Doll, she thought, “Well these two ladies seem quite stable and happy, so why not give it a try?” We’re damn glad Veronica gave it a try because she’s one of our favorite performers and easily one of the hottest MILFs to ever enter the adult industry.

We love it when Lana Del Rey drops her voice low because we find her guttural moan extremely sexy; on a similar tip, we love it when Lana Del Rey physically drops it low because then we can see her panties. And they’re frilly white panties, to be precise!

But we see no reason not to, especially when the pedestal is found in the center of an orgy that overfloweth with horny boys and babes. In anticipation of a sultry, wild and sex-filled weekend, the perverse desires of our greedy loins are sprung into fuck flick form.

Rivers have always had a strange erotic power, and humans were getting freaky near them long before people started worrying about being clean and presentable for sex. That’s why it’s so nice to see a naked Pauline Acquart anoint her lover with a few drips of river water before they start rolling in the grass; we can feel our ancestors getting aroused.

Old and busted: signing your autograph for fans after the show. New hotness: letting your fans sign their autographs on your completely naked body during the show. Amanda Palmer (also of The Dresden Dolls and Evelyn Evelyn) puts everything she has in her performances and then gives it all to her audience. What a cool lady! (And what a hot body!)