And repeat. Even though this babe’s sexual proclivities might dally into the side of unsettling, we could get into the rhythm of the fuck-n-slap.

Or, well, we guess we’re actually mad at ourselves for not having met you by now, and we’re taking it out on you. We realize that’s not fair. But look at those m.f.-ing tits! How could you not have flaunted them in our face by now? Do you not know us at all?!

Ah, the life of a model. You get whisked away to exotic locales, dressed in fancy tiny duds, and get smashed up against another sexy model for a sultry, half-naked roll in the sand. And all we ask in return is that your body be bangin’, so we, the riff-raff, can appropriately ogle and fawn.

Maybe it’s the warm weather but we’re feeling romantic around here. And what could be more romantic than denying your girlfriend’s orgasm until she deep throats your cock and licks your balls? This girl is surely in the throes of some sort of romantic passion as she writhes and begs for permission to cum.

Jennifer Lopez is a mediocre actress (anybody remember The Cell?). She sings like a canary. But the one thing she’s worked real hard on for us over the years is that smokin’ body and endless ridiculous outfits to showcase it. Case in point: this rhinestone catsuit which she wore onstage in Panama City.