Today is a day to be thankful for all best friends, new and old, in your life — especially the ones who scissor with you.

In preparation for all the crazy boning you’re sure to do this weekend, it’s never a bad idea to start yourself off with a primer. One wouldn’t want to be a boor and come too quickly, right? You know what they say: self-love Friday leads to stamina Saturday.

If you take a trip to Hawaii, they greet you at the airport with tropical air and fresh leis. If you take a trip to wherever these girls live, they greet you with cold mountain air, giggles, and nothing under their skirts. Where are these girls from? We’re spending all of our vacation days there.

Image from Domai, see more at Indie Nudes

I once knew a man named Jimmy Fat Fatass. He changed his name to Billy Fat Fatass because his brother was also named Jimmy. What I’m saying, Sylvia Slut, is that we have agency in our lives.

Has it really been almost two years since we last wrote about the lovely Ashley Greene? This sort of oversight just simply cannot stand–and frankly, we’re glad her cleavage popped up at the CMTs to remind us of our horrible negligence.

Whoa, she did it before we could even ask! For those of you who haven’t played “The Witcher” or “The Witcher 2,” Triss Merigold is a powerful sorceress who gets freaky with the protagonist on a few separate occasions. As it turns out, the woman who does her voice is Klodi Monsoon, who went naked for that “Beautiful Innocence” book we looked at recently. The world runs in circles and we love it!

Making a porno of “The Godfather” is no easy task, unless you’re a parody-blasting baller like Lee Roy Myers. He’s captured the look and feel of Coppola’s classic, replaced a few guns with dildos, and threw in just a dash of hardcore fun. Why just a dash? Because “The Godfather”

But on this one you can change mounts mid-ride. Or something of the sort. You see, this sexy carousel has all kinds of options for the horny carnival-goer. You can get on the Flying Cowgirl, choose the Two-Finger Fury, or even the Blowjobitron if the mood so strikes.

Little known fact: the exclamation point was modeled after combined shape of pussy and ass as seen in the position that Samantha Saint is demonstrating in the picture above. There are no words bold enough to describe the beauty, excitement, and anticipation associated with such a sight, so new punctuation was born.

We know that chicks in glasses being smarter is a myth, but this particular group of bespectacled babes lends some truth to that postulation. Each wields tongue, hands and fingertips deftly along the head, down the shaft, and around the balls — we feel we are in the presence of true BJ masters.

I thought I was getting a love letter. What I got was a lust letter, equally divine.

We know a thing or two about Rachel Roxxx; we wrote a Field Guide on her history and habits, so while we’ve never met her in person, we feel like we know her. More importantly, we like her, a lot, and we want to share some of our favorite moments of hers with you.

When you have perky pornstar tits like Mia Magma’s, you have to whip them out from time to time so they don’t overheat. Mia could’ve worn her titanium bra, but that would’ve been way less comfy and totally not sexy, and now her breasts will cool, harden, and become new islands.

Even when one wouldn’t give her boss a second look on the outside world, life inside the office is a little different. The subtle power play involved in quietly entering his office, closing the door behind you, going to his desk, tearing his pants down, and taking his cock in your mouth is enough to make you give him a pretty hard stare indeed.

We know that Igor has a thing for photographing babes standing in front of the window, and we’re cool with that, but this picture makes us worry that Lily LaBeau is really made of some heavenly cotton candy that will evaporate if you look at her for too long. We’ve been looking at her for so long, and we don’t know how to stop!

We’ve long known how “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” feels about cuddling (it’s ardently anti-cuddling), but we never knew that it didn’t allow for extended bouts of sweetness and weekend-long banging. What’s Sally Golan’s beef with excellent and near-endless sex? Why does she want to have “the truth” get in the way of hot humping?