Archive | June 5, 2012

A Field Guide To Lisa Rinna

Remember how earlier today we said “we learned a lot of neat stuff about Lisa Rinna” while writing about her translucent dress and visible nipples? Well, we meant it; we did some research, we think she’s a fascinating lady, and we’re going to relay some of that information (and some of her naked pictures) to you!

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Making A Deposit At The Friend’s Wife’s Vagina Bank

Let us sing: Keep boning/ Keep coming/ Knowing you can always fuck my wife — for sure/ That’s what friends are forrrr. A really great buddy is such a valuable thing. You can share pizza, favorite books, a delicious six-pack. And… his wife’s funspot? Priceless.

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Rikki (Only Cuties)

 

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How Many Licks Slaps?

Jada Stevens might be a beautiful and rare flower, but she is by no means delicate, and as far as we can tell from having followed her career, she enjoys a good bit of roughing up during sex. Still, how much pussy spanking can one woman take? At what point will she tire from orgasms or the sheer red hot rawness of her vulva?

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The Soft Press

Met-Art

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When Art Imitates Porn: “How To Make A Cheap Porno”

10 years ago, Fuzzy Mainstreet was living high on the hog as a porn director. Now he lives in an apartment in North Hollywood and rides the bus. It’s funny because it’s true. The shameless Tommy Pistol is great as the shameless Mainstreet in “How To Make A Cheap Porno.”

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Jennifer Aniston Is Extra Excited For Her MTV Movie Award

We’re not even sure what she won for (“Horrible Bosses”? That was a movie she was in, right?), but we know she’s pleased as punch, but we know that she was really, really happy about the award. Howe can we tell? Why, friends, it’s easy: if you want to know if a lady is really feeling it, just look to the nips.

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Boobs And Fresh Air Always Suggest “Beautiful Innocence”

Jacob Hefner (no relation to Hugh) has done a ton globetrotting (no relation to Harlem), and he’s encountered many beautiful women on his travels. Rather than locking up the memories of these women in his head, he was kind enough to keep them in photo format and share them with the world in a book called “Beautiful Innocence.” Who’s in the mood for funbags al fresco?

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The More Things In A Pussy The Better?

Ah, sure, why the hell not. Throw in some fingertips, half a fist, a bullet vibe — may as well pile in the kitchen sink while you’re at it. Hmm… Now that’s a thought. This lady might be game for it, too, somehow. She looks to be a fan of giving that pussy everything it wants.

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“Sperm Swap In Europe,” Your Guide To International Trade

The next time some adult tries to make small talk about the world economy with us, they’ll probably say something like, “The euro went down today.” Then we’ll respond, “No, ‘Sperm Swap in Europe,’ has been out for months.”

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It Ain’t A Bikie Party Without Tits And Mayhem

We don’t know much about Australian biker culture, but we’re trying to learn bits and pieces. For example, if you’re going to throw a huge party for all your bikie chums, you should make sure to have ample booze, many babes, and a strict No Shirt policy in place. Also, a bong and a trampoline seem to be useful, too!

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Bone Like No One’s Watching: Top Ten Amateur Public Sex Videos

We’ve all been caught with the urge to fuck a companion’s brains out right there on the spot. The more demure of us jump in a cab or car, touching and fondling all the way home. Others among us, however, heed the call of the wild (even in man-made environs) the moment it strikes.

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Head Over To Reddit And Ask Camille Crimson Anything!

Didn’t get enough of Camille during her stint as a Fleshbot guest editor? Well, you’ve got yet another chance to ask her anything–in just a few moments (or 2pm EST, if you want to get specific), she’ll be answering all sorts of questions over at the IAmA subreddit. So what are you waiting for? Go ask her things!

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Area Under The Curve

At my undergrad, everyone is obliged to take a math class, which was the result of somewhat overzealous distribution requirements that were essentially a throwback to the Cold War. The thinking is like so: maybe if we make them take science and math, then instead of becoming resentful they will become physicists who will destroy Sputnik and we’ll win over the entirety of Communist Russia. Despite that lofty goal, the unfortunate truth is that there are many things that I am good at, but they don’t exactly extend to differential equations.

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Lindsay Lohan’s Nipples Are Preventing Her From Acting

Lindsay Lohan’s arguably grimy father recently said that the (legal prescription) drugs Lindsay takes are preventing her for reaching her full dramatic potential. We now know that those allegations are completely false. These pictures prove that the only thing preventing LiLo from acting her heart out is her inability to keep her tits tucked in that dress.

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Lisa Rinna: From Soap Star To “S’up With Them Nipples?”

Lisa Rinna knows how to make a statement on the red carpet, and she can do so without a lot of noise. All she needs is a clutch, a red Kabbalah string around her wrist, and a slinky black dress that melts when exposed to the flash of a camera.

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In The Days Of Vampyre Threesomes

Maybe these aren’t actual vampires, and this isn’t the 16th century, but the aura about this carnal confrontation makes us feel these are some Original Goths getting it on in their decaying castle. And it’s got us a little hot under the corset…

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We Want To Be The Strawberry Between Alison Brie’s Lips

That’s not weird, is it? We figure everybody on Earth has a crush on Alison Brie in some form or another, and we bet there’s a significant amount of people who envision themselves as whatever Alison happens to be eating at the moment. Similarly, there must be people who want to be her bikini, her mascara, or her high heels.

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Good Value (New Nude City)

 

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“Piranha 3DD” Allows Irina Voronina To Show Off Her 35Cs

Is it unreasonable of us to feel that movies should live up to their titles? We don’t think so. Therefore, when the beautiful Russian Playmate Irina Voronina rolls off her flotation device and swims to the “Cooch Cam” on the ladder, we either need to see double D-cup boobs or crazy vicious piranha. We’ll settle for not-so-vicious piranha with huge breasts if those are available.

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