Archive | May 15, 2012

A Field Guide To Maria Menounos

We generally make these Field Guides for people when they’ve recently done something spectacular or when we want to drop fatty amounts of praise upon an unsung hero. In this case, we feel like we’ve seen Maria Menounos wear so many bikinis that it’s unfair of us to go on living a second longer without learning her life story.

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Because Every Good Cock Deserves A Kiss

And the extra special ones get a fluttering flicker from a tongue, too. Looks like this cock has definitely earned its spot on the nice list because it’s getting all sorts of warm fuzzy attention from this young lady.

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Holly Michaels (Fucking Machines)

 

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Spanking Is The Search For Color

As we watch this man ruthlessly spank his lover’s beautiful butt cheeks over and over, from one side to the other and back again, we realize that the mixing of pain and pleasure is only a secondary concern in his mind. His true goal is to make her skin flush the perfect shade. He wants to ripen her flesh.

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Polaroidgasm

Finest Titfuckers Heavenly Heaven (titfuckers-heaven.tumblr.com)

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Fast Times At “Revenge of the Petites”

Porn teaches us so much. Did you know that routine discrimination by uniformly hot girls against negligibly smaller uniformly hot girls was a thing? Neither did we until “Revenge of the Petites.”

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Kate Upton Tweets Titillating Teasers From The 2013 SI Swimsuit Issue

Our brains are so not capable of handling this right now. It’s 2012, we’re waiting to see what’s up with the myriad doomsday theories going on, we can barely focus on what porn films are coming out next week, and Kate Upton is giving us sneak previews of what the 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue holds in store. How are we supposed to think straight when her nipples are visible through that inner tube? Also, that is not a swimsuit, Kate Upton. That’s an inner tube.

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Do Lad Mag Babes Miss Their Lingerie When They Go Naked?

No, that’s not the title of a recently unearthed Philip K. Dick novel, it’s a genuine question. Nuts just put out their Naked Issue, in which lad mag girls must hide their bottom parts with clever poses and obstacles instead of underwear, and as much as we enjoy the sight of bare thighs and hip bones, we can’t help but wonder how they feel.

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A Hot Brazilian Couple And Their Friendly Director

We don’t understand Portuguese, but we like that this voyeuristic videographer is directing his friends in a multifaceted fuck session. Imagine having this beautifully stacked Brazilian babe and her willing partner in front of you, ready to act out all the things you could dream!

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“Cock Addiction” Is Incurable (Not That Anyone Wants To Cure It)

Ann Marie La Sante enjoys a dick now and again, but do we really to brand her with a “Cock Addiction”? Must we be so straightforward? It’s not that we dislike transparency in porn titles; it’s that we relished the days when we referred to cock addiction as “jonesing for Jack Johnson.”

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Five Songs About Fisting*

Friend of Fleshbot Judy McGuire has a brand new book out, and it’s chock full of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. Unfortunately, there was one list that the publisher deemed too hot to print–but lucky for you, we’ve got a copy of it right here. Take a gander at this list of lyrical love for fisting…and then go buy The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll Lists and see what other awesomeness it has to offer.

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Lie Back And Close Your Eyes: Top Ten Amateur Missionary Sex Videos

It’s likely the first position we turned to when exploring the world of sex for the first time. It’s a position that’s gotten us coming through the ages, and will carry us forward for centuries more. Like a pea coat or little black dress, missionary never goes out of style.

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Sex Machine

A charming reader named Liza, who has a sex blog of her own, wrote to me asking for an erotic dare set on an amusement park ride. I had no idea that she would become a sex machine herself. This is her daring response.

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Here’s Your Order Of Sweet, Spicy, Naked Kelly Anne Chaos

Not only is Nate “Igor” Smith a prolific and talented photographer of pornstars and other assorted babes, he’s also a spinner of simple yet enjoyable yarns. For example: “I got a chance to shoot Kelly Anne Chaos last time I was in LA and we did this photo shoot in her bathroom and then we ate wings.” The story continues below…

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Minka Kelly’s Pokies In Profile

Minka Kelly is beautiful when viewed from the front, but what about in profile? We don’t spend nearly enough time appreciating what she looks like from the side, but starting today, we’re going to change all that. We want Minka from all the angles; we want to see just how much poke that nipple is producing.

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Chanel Preston And James Deen Sure Fuck Like Champs

It’s no wonder they’re two of the most popular babes in the business. And when their powers combine, they basically form a pornographic supernova that compels us to cream our panties.

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The Beach Isn’t The Same Without Belen Rodriguez’s Boobs

It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve seen Belen Rodriguez wearing (half) a bikini. The world was so dark without her! Luckily for us, she’s back on the beach, not wearing a top, showing off that amazing ass of hers, and blowing bubbles.

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Raisa (MPLStudios)

 

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“A Kiss And A Promise” And Some Sex With Choking

Natasha Gregson Wagner is a masochist with a fiery temper, her husband is a closet sociopath, and together they run a Bed and Breakfast in a quiet Ontario town. We’d like to say that they sublimate their destructive desires with crazy amounts of rough sex, but they don’t, and bad things happen. Fortunately, a bit of rough sex happens as well!

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