For real, masturbation is an inexhaustible topic; you simply cannot say enough good things about it! Well, more precisely, we can’t say enough good things about it. And since it’s National Masturbation Month when we happen to be on the M entry of our encyclopedia, this is the perfect chance to spend some quality time on the topic of autoerotic pleasure.

Oh, man. If boobs weren’t glorious enough as is, they’re basically excruciating beautiful when adorned with cum, shimmering across their soft double peaks and dripping down between them. Beauty may elevate the soul, indeed — but erotic beauty elevates the soul and loins.

Say pearl necklace (in a sexual context, anyway) and chances are good you’ll generate visions of semen dancing around a delicate neck. But lest you think that that’s the only kind of pearl you can bring into the bedroom, we’ve got an, ahem, pearl of wisdom for you.

SuicideGirls

But lest you think this movie is going to get all envelope-pushing like Kirdy Stevens’ “Taboo” series, remember that these people have no pubic hair, so it doesn’t count.

If you’re not in the mood to pay for porn, then think about it this way: you give $20 to a good cause and karma rewards you with a month of access to a community-oriented website where beautiful models from all walks of life post galleries of themselves looking sexy and naked.

But by “dusty” we mean gargantuan, and by “trail” we mean “dong”. No wonder this lady looks so exhausted when it’s all done with! It’s no easy feat to scale the sheer rock face of a dong so mighty.

The raw power, the near-sadistic control, and the absurd yet alluring gothic lolita outfits of “The Innocence of Youth” make it one of our favorite porn films. We wrote about that thing three separate times! And we’re so stoked about the sequel’s arrival that we’re giving you a bunch of photos and the trailer. You know you’re excited.

The ever-thoughtful Jiz Lee recently called our attention to a fledgling documentary called “Born Into Porn,” about the thoughts surrounding/the struggles faced by adult industry professionals raising children. It’s a heavy topic that deserves to be explored, and this project definitely deserves our help.

First there was her appearance in Allure’s Naked Celebrity issue, followed by a brush with some sideboob exposure. Now the “Big Bang Theory” star is flaunting her bra all over town. And while we can’t blame her (it is a nice bra!), we can’t help but wonder if this is a sign of even sexier things to come. (Please say it is.)

I look at Shane incredulously. He nods enthusiastically, his eyes bright and eager. I always try to be a good sport about trying new things, but this one throws me. I say that I’ll think about it and get back to him.

We know what you’re thinking. You’re like, “Damn, it was great seeing Natalia Tena’s breasts on ‘Game of Thrones’ the other day. Can I see them again?” Yes, you can. That is, you can obviously go back to that “Game of Thrones” post and rewatch the clip, but you don’t have to because Natalia has shown her boobs elsewhere.

We feel for Aubrey O’Day. First she didn’t fit into Diddy’s girl band, Danity Kane, so she got kicked out, and now she’s having trouble fitting her fantastic butt into this skirt. It’s only natural that she would tweet this picture; the girl could use a little empathy! Don’t worry, Aubrey, we have your back. (Your lower back.)

Who doesn’t have a place in their hearts for a cock-hungry slut? Here Angel Long steps into the ring with several randy gentlemen who are as eager to stick a dick in her as she is to receive.

This photoshoot pretty much encapsulates everything we want from the summer, namely: a porch, a rocking chair, sunshine, underwear, an escape from the city, and shared drinks with a pretty topless lady and a cool breeze.

We get it, this is a horror film. Everything points to the demise of these attractive twenty-somethings: they’re alone in the woods, they’re comfortable with their bodies, and they have a lot of loud sex with each other. We would feel way more freaked out if the movie didn’t share a name with one of our favorite Hall & Oates songs.