Remy, Remy, Remy, all we hear about is Remy LaCroix showing up and doing anal, Remy LaCroix getting gangbanged, Remy LaCroix curing polio, it’s out of control! All right, maybe we’re getting Remy confused with Jonas Salk on that last item, but the fact remains the same: this girl is taking the porn industry by storm and we need to learn more about her.

There’s really nothing a determined set of amateur pornographers can’t do, and we’re tickled pink to see the use of a fine gloryhole among this set. And really, if all we’re after is a good fuck, the gloryhole gets us there with a quickness.

Think a blowjob is a rough and ready, vulgar sort of act, with no place for style, finesse, or sensuality? Think again, friend: take a peek at this phenomenal act of fellatio and consider yourself schooled.

Small Ideas For Big Minds

You might be surprised, but one of the simple joys of the rarefied world of Porn Journalism is encountering people who are comfortable being naked. But it’s even more fun when those people get out of their comfort zone.

The women who taught you how to Dougie is back with another hot dance for you to master: the Cat Daddy. Millions of people have learned how to shake their respective butts thanks to Kate Upton, and now millions more shall have the image of her bikini-clad boobs bouncing around forever burned into their respective brains. Will this transmit dancing skills? Yes it will.

We first heard of “Elles” when people were calling it “the film where Juliette Binoche simulates screen masturbation,” but unfortunately, we have yet to uncover the footage of Juliette’s faux self-exploration. But fret not! “Elles” is about a prostitution ring run by very attractive university students, therefore: sexy times.

Or maybe that’s David Beckham she’s blowing? Either way, we can’t really blame him. If we were faced with such a bangin’ set of breasts to fuck and fondle, we couldn’t help but let out a little yip ourselves.

If there’s one thing we love more than a clever porn title, it’s a clever porn title for a POV porn film that brings up vague Illuminati vibes. That Erik Everhard is so good to us.

If 2011 was the year to freak out about bed bugs crawling around your apartment, eating your cereal, and dating your daughter, then 2012 is the year when you get paranoid about Julia Valimaki hanging out on your roof. She could be up there, right now, bronzing her nipples in the sun. Look at this photographic evidence.

Let’s take a trip to ‘the dark side’. After all, for guys it offers the lovely-feeling prostate that sends shivers up and down a boner’s spine. For ladies — a whole new arena of enthralling sensations.

Let me set the scene…

I am currently at a salon and sexting with Jon. He is out with his friends. This is our text messages back and forth.

Whenever we see someone strange come on the subway wearing a trenchcoat, we get a little nervous. “What kind of body part will be revealed to us this time?” The lucky people of London don’t have to worry about that. The worst that happens to them is Anita De Bauch shows up wearing Vivienne Westwood gear, takes it all off, and dances seductively around the tube.

The British Soap Awards were last weekend, and soap star Stephanie Davis clearly had an amazing time. She hopped up on her man, her dress rode up her butt, there was kissing and mayhem and joy. We have to wonder: what are we doing wrong in the States? Where are our bare-assed soap stars?

Ah, Malibu. Where the sun dances on pristine beaches, shines across mountain views, and illuminates stunning beach babes getting their pussies pounded on alfresco rooftops. What a magical place.

Last month Jiz teased you guys with a few photos from the Karma Pervs set we shot in Toronto…and, well, today I’m going to tease you a little more!

Matthew Goode plays a tantrum-prone chef who recently lost his wife, and–naturally–needs to dull the pain with lots of random sex. The funny thing is, these clips hardly show you what a rageaholic the guy is because he spends most his time being humped by hot women. Let it be known: sex is nature’s tranquilizer.