Every babe tells a story…

‘Twould be a crime not to heed its call. Especially with the grade-A bodies involved in this particular gang. So prepare to see balls sucked, asses pounded, pussies plied, and a whole passel of parts gettin’ theirs.

We like guns, you know, as interesting objects, but we don’t think we’re responsible enough to have them. So, if possible, can we donate our second amendment rights to this woman? Can she have all the guns? Please?

Risa Coda, via Reddit

Nacho Vidal’s style of lovemaking might not be for the oversized coffee cup/scented candle crowd in their appliqued cat sweatshirts, but even his heart breaks with love—over the frank Kayla Carrera—in “Made in USA.”

Do you ever find yourself sitting at work, wishing you could check out Fleshbot–but feeling stymied by those stupid internet filters (or some, uh, sense of decency or something)? Well, friends, we’ve got a solution to that little problem: and it’s a little website known as Facebook.

Chris Nieratko (who you might know as Vice’s in house porn “reviewer”) has been hanging out with the stars of Porn Valley for years now–and he’s finally decided to let the rest of the world get a glimpse at the fun he’s been having. Say hello to “Skinema,” a web series that goes behind the scenes to give the internet a glimpse at what ladies like Kimberly Kane, Belladonna, and Joanna Angel are like when they’re not getting banged for a living.

Well isn’t this an unexpected treat! Larissa Riquelme, futbol fox turned lad’s mag star, is back again. Seeing these pictures is like bumping into an ex at Starbucks and making promises to reconnect. You may never grab that drink together, but you are going to ogle her like crazy while you make the plans.

Hot on the heels of Asstagram come two more websites looking to capitalize on the sexy potential of cellphone camera apps…and, in this case, to provide something that sites like Instagram emphatically refuse to feature (yes, nipples).

We’d like some of what this gal’s having! Not only does she have a four minute long gushing orgasm, but she has a fellow who brings it out of her in what we can only describe as a sensual farmer milking a horny cow.

And the weird thing is, it’s not like people are interested in “Anal Virgins” because they admire the girls for keeping their asses cock-free, everybody just wants to pop that butt cherry. And we bet you would feel cheated if this movie only featured vaginal penetration, huh?

A field of wildflowers, a rushing mountain stream, a West Coast sunset, a pair of massive, bouncing breasts — all of these are things of beauty, which make us pause in quiet reflection.

Are you hard? A little?

I’m very hard. Very fucking hard.

I’m glad. Wish I was just around the corner. You’d get a text message from me.  “Come down, bring condoms”

She’s been called “The Betty Paige of the ’90s,” but now that it’s the ’10s, we just call her one seriously foxy MILF. Darla Crane’s sweet curves and cute freckles are a joy to behold, and if we could, we would be holding them in our hands every single day. We can’t, so we have these scenes.

Did you know that of all the Playboy Playmates of the Year, only three of them have been Canadian? Jayde Nicole is the third (the lovely Shannon Tweed is the second), and she wears her title with pride. Unfortunately, she’s not wearing Canadian flag panties, but nobody’s perfect!

Welcome to the wizarding world of Danny D, Britain’s favorite male porn charmer with an 11-inch magic wand. Watch him work his sorcery — by jamming that cock up into some tight British pussy. We think that’s how it’s done.

Despite what you may have heard about us, we’re not experts on brothels of the old western frontier, but we do get a feeling of authenticity from the scenes, settings, and fast-talking prostitutes in “The Scarlet Worm.” Still, we have to ask: did everyone have dirt on them all the time? If so, we are totally down. Dirty breasts are the best.