With all the recent hooplah surrounding the video that shows a woman who looks a lot like Tulisa Contostavlos performing oral, we haven’t had time to sit down and ask, “Who is Tulisa Contostavlos?” Well, she’s a singer, and we’ve seen her panties a number of times, but that’s all we know about her. That is, until we actually did the research.

There’s no need to commit to one ho-hum position when you’ve got an entire arsenal up your sleeve. If variety is the spice of life, variety in sex must be life’s Tapatio sauce.

Because we need a better look at them. You may think that Kelly Divine and Jada Stevens have an unorthodox method for washing car windows…but we think that unorthodox is just another word for awesome. (And if you feel similarly, you can see more here.)

London Keyes

We were delighted to find that Lesbian Oil Orgies from other countries bear both similarities and intriguing cultural differences to our stateside lesbian oil orgy program.

Rosie Jones, India Reynolds, Sabine, and Lacey Banghard dressed up like superheroes and then showed their boobs: that part we understand, and we expect. However, we didn’t anticipate the fact that these lad mag babes actually have the proportions of female comic book characters! The fakeness is so realistic!

Sometimes we feel used by red band trailers. It’s as if the film producers are saying, “Hey, give us free advertising and we’ll throw you a boob!” How do they know that we crave boobs? Admittedly, there are numerous pairs of titties in this trailer, and one of them gets hit with a beach ball in such a way that makes our hearts flutter. Oh, and yeah, this has to do with vicious piranhas getting into a waterpark and causing mayhem while David Hasselhoff looks on stoically.

It’s 1982, Susan Sarandon is just about to get out of the pool, and a playful breeze is helping her nipples stand out from her wet swimsuit; we wish this moment would last forever. Fortunately, someone was there to take a picture! And there are even more pictures!

That’s the way these two approach sex. In one corner, we’ve got “white emo girl”. In the other, “black stud”. Where they meet in the middle you’ll find effective fucking of the sexiest order.

Instead of siccing her lawyers on anyone who hosts that questionable sex tape, we think Tulisa Contostavlos should embrace a sexier side of herself, ignore the tape, and start searching for the world’s next big pornstar. FOX doesn’t need another “American Idol” clone; they need big, penetrated asses. That’s what America really wants!

There are a couple things that make for a quality sex toy. Good materials, easy to use controls that don’t disrupt the experience, soft curves that feel good against the body. Based on my experience with it, the Lady Hug has pretty much none of these.

For many of us, the couch is simply the place we plop on to watch the ol’ boob tube. Well, there are some adventurers among us who manage to defile this humble piece of furniture six ways to Sunday.

He reclined on the bed, legs spread wide. I knelt between his thighs and toyed with his cock, stroking him and teasing him and hurting him. I matched my every aggression with equal kindness, following each twist and pinch with a gentle stroke of my hand, following every strike with the warmth and softness of my mouth. As I played with him, his small sounds became more and more pleading, more urgent, more needy.

She rolls around, she props herself on her side, maybe she changes her clothing, but then she falls on her back and starts touching herself; another hour lost to bed. We would call Eliza Sys lazy, but honestly, touching a body as fine as hers is way more productive than anything you could do outside.

We all hate going through those X-Ray machines and cancer causing scanners–but it looks like Nikki Cox has actually decided to do something about it. What better way to get the TSA to stop worrying about what’s under your clothes than to straight up show them?

When we last ran into Anna Polina, she was busy getting all her holes stuffed. Well, here she is hopping on the DP-wagon again — only this time, she’ll clean your apartment after, too!

Who is Jacki-O? She’s a curvy, tattooed, and talented rapper from Florida who often gets compared to Trina and Mia X. (She’s also written a few theme songs for female WWE performers!) Allegedly, here are her boobs, as taken by her cellphone. They’re pretty nice!

Ladies: rare treat for you today. Richardson Magazine concocted an insane video that gives you a taste of what the inside of a TV-and-hormone-blasted teenage boy’s head looks like. Gentleman: remember that dark part of you that you’ve tried to suppress? Well, it’s back to visit, and now it’s set to the musical stylings of Die Antwoord!