Ah, double penetration; just seeing those two words next to each other makes our hearts flutter. For some, it’s a distant dream of ultra-hardcore mastery; for others, it’s an everyday kind of thing. We love it, and we’re happy that it starts with a D, because now we get to explore it as part of our weekly Encyclopedia of Smut post! Hooray for the alphabet!

There are the pale, bare-breasted ladies, the fully cocked Soviet studs, the cunnilingus, the fucking, the angry-looking mustachioed men. Wait, what? Well, we’ll pay them no mind. It’s the orgy part we’re after!

Or some of them, anyway: brown, pale peach, and an incredibly vibrant red that really sets off the blue of this girl’s eyes…and the twinkle that appears therein as she joyously sucks cock. Certainly, a palate like no other.

Jelena Jensen

So sexually adventurous, Sasha Knox never leaves doubt that she hasn’t carefully weighed the advantages and disadvantages of each filthy decision.

People criticize fancy lingerie saying, “Oh, you spend all that money on underwear and then no one–maybe one person–sees it.” The common response to that is, “Yes, but it’s not for other people, it’s for yourself.” But what about when you’re wearing fancy lingerie and you’re wearing a super fancy blindfold as well?

Sure, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones are good at looking sexy, but are they actually skilled at having sex? Before we could only theorize, but now we have Pleasure Dynasty’s latest parody, “Zorro XXX,” to answer all of our dirty questions. They’ve given us exclusive access to the hardcore trailer, and we, naturally, are giving that access to you!

And an ass full of cock! We’re having an idyllic day here in New York, and what better way to celebrate than with some anal action, the deep-throatiest of deep throats, and a facial that makes Russian baths look tame.

No, this isn’t a porn parody based on “A Very Private Affair” starring Brigitte Bardot, but that does sound like a spectacular pornographic experience. This is different. This isn’t really about anything! If you must have a plot with your smut, then this is about Zoey Holloway waking up one morning, looking at her husband, and thinking to herself, “Damn, if only that guy had a sweet pussy to play with.”

We’re happy that V Magazine has a sports issue–it’s sort of the ironic cousin of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue–but we have no idea what sport Adriana Lima are Doutzen Kroes are portraying her. It’s one part rugby, one part Murder Ball, three parts the “Bad Romance” music video, and a bunch of makeup and seethrough clothing. It’s cool, but we don’t know what it’s called.

Although this day is now just called International Women’s Day, we wanted to use the old term to put an extra bit of socialist flavor back in the mix. As Missy Elliott once said, “Is it worth it? Let me work it, put my thing down, flip it and reverse it.” Ladies, you are indeed “worth it,” and so this edition of Netflix Picks salutes you and all the different ways you work it.

The following is a letter to Tony:

Yes, I told you this was a confession and now when I think of it more, I’m in a confessional booth with my hand between my legs. I like to sin and especially in a building of faith. I’ve been in a catholic church before and the only thing that kept my attention was staring at those booths and daydreaming about fucking in them.

It’s hard to find love in a new town, especially when you’re away from home for the first time. Poor Veronique Tremblay is dealing with that, plus the fact that she left home because there was a crazy murderous rampage that ripped through her house, so she’s understandably a little on edge. Maybe sex takes a little getting used to, but she is apparently 100% down to masturbate while standing over her boyfriend!

If you think us Fleshbot folk go overboard with naked picture analysis, wait until you see what The Mirror had to say about Rihanna’s recent topless Twitpic (and a handful of her other tweets). They’re on some Dan Brown-level shit.

How could anyone not respect the relationship between that mouth and her butt? You can feel the forces at work; it’s destiny and willpower coming together in a way that makes us want to come (in a way). We’d tell them to hurry up and put a ring on it, but we don’t know what they’d put a ring on.

She wasn’t trying to remind us on purpose, she just happens to be naked in “Chemical Wedding.” However, the sight of her big beautiful breasts got our wheels turning, and we slowly remembered that there used to be a show where we could see them semi-weekly. Oh yeah, it was “Game of Thrones,” and it will be back on April 1st!

Carefree skinny dippers, you’re pretty cool and we like that you’re expressive with your body, but you’re kind of missing the point of the act. Watch how Alicia Vikander does it: she’s slightly tense as she strips–soft parts below, hard glare on top–because she’s not just going into the lake, she’s leaving the world behind.