Archive | March 6, 2012

A Field Guide To Rebecca Blumhagen And Sally Golan

As you’ve probably noticed, we’re super happy that Cinemax has given us a late night treat that features two (yep, two) gorgeous females on the prowl for penis. It’s called “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity,” and it stars Rebecca Blumhagen and Sally Golan. Who are these women? That’s what we’re wondering!

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It Is Happening Again…The TLA RAW Awards Are Here!

Can you believe that the Academy Awards just handed out their top award to a movie that forgot to even record any sound? And the Grammys gave out their top award to some lady who doesn’t even have a last name, let alone any musical talent? Even worse than those, the United States President awards haven’t unanimously given the “Commander-in-Chief” Award to Rick Santorum yet!

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Giving It The Old College Floor-Fucking Try

Ah, dorm rooms. You’ve got your mini-fridge, standard-issue wooden desk and uncomfortable, tiny bed. With that being the case, why not take things to the floor? Great idea. Put that fancy college learnin’ to work!

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Caprice and Anneli (X-Art)

 

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Don’t Stop The Rocking

We’re certainly not the first ones to make this observation, but when it comes to acts of copulation, there’s making love, sex, and fucking…and, at the extreme end of the spectrum, super hardcore fucking. This gif depicts an instance of the latter–and damn if it don’t look fun.

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A Feast Fit For A King

Photo by John B. Root (rebootcash.com)

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Your Having Given Birth Is Incidental To Us, Priya Rai

At no time during my conversation with Rai did I think “MILF” or “Cougar.” Instead, because I am a gentleman, I thought, “There are certain women I know who are Jealous As Fuck of this lady.”

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Soon There Will Be Titty Weather

There’s been some freaky weather in the last few months, and we bet you’re probably worried about global warming, but we promise you that as soon as summer gets here, you’ll be too busy checking out boobs to think about the impending apocalypse.

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Fucking At First Sight: A Guide To Sex On The First Date

Sex on the first date: it’s the subject of much discussion, handwringing, and, of course, comedy t-shirts. Being the knowledgable, nonjudgmental libertines that we are, we think that sex on the first date is a perfectly fine thing–but we also think that, as with any sex act, you need to know what you’re getting into before you go ahead with it. So, sexy soldiers, let’s carry onward and examine the topic!

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Diora Baird And Friends Are Funny, Sexy, And Topless

Funny, sexy, and topless? Why, those are the three criteria that we look for in potential lifelong mates! You might think that “topless” can change at a moment’s notice, but we threw it in there just to emphasize that our future spouse will have no problem showing her bod to GQ, as is the case with Diora Baird, Anna Faris, Brooklyn Decker, and Amy Schumer. Do you think Amy Schumer would want to marry a Fleshbot writer?

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Doggystyle, Tit-Fucking, Buttplugs, Oh My!

Oh, the things that bed must have seen! This sexy French couple are all up, over and around it, pulling out all the stops. It seems like there’s nothing they won’t do… How lucky for us.

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A Dated Compliment For The Derriere: “Phat Ass White Booty 7″

We’re not saying it’s wrong to call a booty phat, but it’s not exactly something you hear these days. And when we hear “Phat Ass White Booty 7,” we don’t think of Phoenix Marie’s gloriously round and poundable mound, we think of Chris Tucker in the ’90s, and that guy does not have a nice butt.

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The Naked Hobo Has Many Gorgeous Naked Friends

Who is The Naked Hobo, you ask? Though the name calls to mind a grizzled old man with nothing to his name but a bedraggled bindle, he is, in fact, a talented photographer who photographs gorgeous naked girls in fascinating urban spaces.

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The Joy Of Fucking: Top Ten Amateur Girl-On-Girl Strap-On Sex Videos

What’s better than one girl? Two girls! And what’s even better than that? When they fuck each other using a giant strap-on, of course!

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Let’s Go For A Ride

She meets me at the hotel bar. I ask her to wear a short cotton skirt and thigh-highs, heels, and a tight top. As always, she complies with my request.

We kiss gently hello on the cheeks. I pull her toward me by her waist as we kiss. She strains to reach me, standing on tip-toes.

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More Alleged Naughty Pictures Of Olivia Munn!

Christina Hendricks’s people have made official statements about alleged leaked cell phone pics, but we’ve yet to hear anything from Olivia Munn’s camp. Meanwhile, new pictures of Olivia have shown up online, and once again, there are a few alleged naked ones. It’s Munn March Madness!

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Carol Costello Broadcasts Her Panties On CNN (Twice!)

Yo, Carol Costello, we think you’re pretty fly. You and your CNN homies won two Peabody Awards for your coverage of Hurricane Katrina and for your coverage of the 2008 elections. It sounds like you have this news channel thing on lock. Now is most definitely the time to be flashing your panties on air. Keep it up, girl.

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How Is Sunny Lane’s Pussy Like A Rock Quarry?

They’re both filled with stone! Because Sunny Lane’s pussy is absolutely chock full of Evan Stone’s cock, get it? Maybe it’s not a Lewis Carroll-level riddle, but gosh darnit, it’s accurate, and if Sunny is going to be in a pornographic version of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” we need wordplay.

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Why Did Sarah Silverman Take A Picture Of Her Cleavage?

Better question: why wouldn’t she take a picture of her cleavage? Sarah is the hottest comedian alive, and she’s a snappy dresser, and if she wants to taunt her ex-boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel by sending him a shot of her super hot cleavage, then all power to her.

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Marketa Belonoha (Watch4Beauty)

 

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