We’d like to take a moment and remind you that even though it’s Valentine’s Day, you don’t have to have slow, snuggly, romantic, or mutually satisfying sex. If you want to come home, plop down pantsless on the couch, and tell your man, “Get over here and suck my fucking clit,” then that’s totally cool by us. It’s your relationship!
There are some who would argue that blowjobs are more fit for March 14′s Steak and Blowjob Day than February 14′s Valentine’s Day–but we’d argue that those people are totally, completely missing the point. For one, the idea that Valentine’s Day is a lady-centric holiday is silly; for another, the idea that blowjobs are anything other than an everyday act is ludicrous.
Sometimes the best part of a porn DVD is the Behind the Scenes featurette, where women flop around naked, unburdened of their scripts, uncomfortable heels, and odd sex-having angles. But it’s even more fun with Belladonna.
We’ve posted several hardcore celebrations of Valentine’s Day today…but what if you happen to be (gasp!) anti-Valentine’s Day? Well, we’ve got just the video for you: Supreme Commandress Joanna Angel has teamed up with Skin Diamond and Ramon Nomar to offer the world a very anti-VDay threeway…which, we have to say, is probably just as hot even if you happen to believe in true love, flowers, and all that other sentimental Hallmark stuff.
It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s a Tuesday, and if you’re like us, you are probably not on the ball right now. It’s cool though! Here are some things you can pick up on the way home, or if worst comes to worst, things you can have delivered by the weekend. (Because honestly, it’s a fucking Tuesday. Can’t we just reschedule this for Saturday?)
So we’re pretty sure that this photo is a fake (and we know it’s been floating around the internet for at least a year)–but can you blame us for wanting to share it? Whether you love or hate Ms. Deschanel’s uber-twee style, you have to admit that she’s a beautiful lady. And if she did happen to actually pose for this photo, well, that certainly adds a whole new dimension to her sweet and innocent persona.
Max and Lilyanne–the adorable duo who run Pornographic Love–are really fucking good at celebrating holidays. Their demonic Halloween video was equal parts sexy and scary, and this Valentine’s Day video is ever so sweet. There’s chocolate, a mirror, a hot tub, ample amounts of smooching and rubbing, and then, eventually, a big ol’ cumshot.
In our eyes, BiBi Jones performed in her first POV scene back when she was with Hustler. In Digital Playground’s eyes, “Jack’s POV 19″ contains her first POV scene. Technically, they’re right, since this is her first POV movie as BiBi Jones and not Britney Beth. Anyway, who cares about semantics and hermeneutics? You can pretend to fuck pornstars!
Years ago, American Apparel made headlines when they ran an ad featuring Sasha Grey revealing a bit of pubic hair (and more than a bit of boobs). Surprising, then, that this ad–which, if we’re not mistaken, showcases a model revealing a section of her hairless ladybits–has gone relatively unnoticed by the press.
If music be the food of love, play on. And by music, we mean the sweet sound of a bubbly ass being slapped whilst taking in a turgid cock.
I just finished fucking my husband. He had to go to sleep and couldn’t go another round; there was a busy morning awaiting him and had to make sure he got enough rest for it. But I couldn’t sleep; I was restless with need. I didn’t want to use my
No joke. Look at this spread in the British Esquire that calls Lake Bell “America’s Secret.” It sounds absurd, but thanks to a strange combination of terrible cross-cultural mishaps (“Childrens Hospital” is unavailable, “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy” went straight to DVD, no UK critics noted “How to Make It in America”), they’ve been missing out on all the semi-nudity (and occasional real nudity) this hilarious and talented 32-year old has to offer. Thank goodness Esquire finally decided to do something about that!
Did we actually watch the Grammys on Sunday? Well, that’s for us to know and you to not really care about at all. But we can tell you one thing: if we were watching, it was mostly to get a peek at what Katy Perry was packing…and we must say, her cameltoe did not disappoint.
es, it’s Valentine’s Day–better known as Babysitters Make Hella Cash Day–and our favorite yellow couple has the house to themselves for once. It’s the perfect time for Marge to let down her voluminous hair and let Homer film his fat cock slipping inside her.
Our very own Gram Ponante summed up this movie as, “It’s the boys against the girls as two gangs of detestable Hollywood trash play a Los Angeles version of ‘Dangerous Liaisons.’” The more we view this thing, the more we feel it’s less like “Dangerous Liaisons” and more like if your Cosmopolitan magazine hopped off the coffee table and put on a bikini (so it could then flash you).
Yesterday, the 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue accidentally shipped early and the world found out that Kate Upton is the lucky cover star. The surprise was definitely ruined, but what do we care for surprises when we have tons of photos of Kate Upton strolling the shore in various states of clothedness?