American Apparel never disappoints us. We don’t think we’ve browsed their wares in a long while, but seeing ads like these makes us feel like, you know, we can depend on American Apparel. How many other companies consistently flaunt boobage?

When we wake up in the morning, and we feel like we live in a country where the standard set of morals doesn’t match our own, we remind ourselves that we can pick up a free Vice magazine, read it on the subway, and accidentally point a topless lady at the other riders because her tits are selling booty shorts on the back of the magazine.

· Pics via American Apparel (americanapparel.net)

We’ve always been impressed with people who can multi-task, but normally we’re talking about a blowjob + masturbation, or even sex + filming. Never before have we seen someone brush her pubes while sucking cock. How exciting!

This is, after all, “Pubic Hair for Sale 3,” so we can understand why the performers feel the need to make their bushes appear as bushy as possible. No one wants to buy pubes that are looking all matted down and dull! We reckon that these hairs will fetch a nifty price on whatever sinister market White Ghetto Films uses to distribute such things.

· Buy “Pubic Hair For Sale 3″ (store.fleshbot.com)

She may not be the greatest artist, but Marie McCray knows what she needs to do to get ahead in the art world. And she gets a faceful of Manets to prove it!

Fleshbot Readers, this scene from “Tales from the Hard Side” is not the best: Danny Mountain, who is British, plays a British art gallery owner who flies from London to see McCray’s work, which he rejects almost immediately.

As we wait for the inevitable to happen, we wonder why Mountain can’t affect any more snooty an accent, as if he thinks that Americans will be impressed with any English accent. We also wonder why McCray couldn’t just send him some high-res photos to prevent an ill-advised and expensive flight.

More than anything, we sense the performers are feeling like thoroughbred racehorses asked to swim, or cars asked to bake bread, or porn stars asked to act.

So Thank God they fuck, is all I’m saying.

· Twistys (twistys.com)
· Buy “Tales from the Hard Side” (tlavideo.com)

Twistys (twistys.com)
Buy “Tales from the Hard Side” (tlavideo.com)
Twistys (twistys.com)
Buy “Tales from the Hard Side” (tlavideo.com)
Twistys (twistys.com)
Buy “Tales from the Hard Side” (tlavideo.com)
Twistys (twistys.com)
Buy “Tales from the Hard Side” (tlavideo.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

We suspected that the CFDA Fashion Awards encouraged nudity from guests and participants (like Lady Gaga), but we were sort of joking. Then we saw this Candice Swanepoel thing and we realized that CFDA totally encourages nudity.

We know we only get eleven seconds of nakedness from Candice, but we’re not picky. Some of those seconds are slo-mo and that makes us feel alive. We can pretend that it’s actually running in real time, and we’re only seeing it way slowed down because the raw beauty of her body has given us a jolt of adrenaline and heightened our senses.

Guys tend to assume that they have nothing to worry about when it comes to getting women, and that they don’t need any help. The truth, however, is that there are a few things men should and should not be doing. This being said, let’s take a look some essential techniques all men should have in their toolbox.

Babes. Nudity. Sunshine. Who says we can’t have it all?

· Amnell (kindgirls.com)
· Carly & Paris Diamond (labatidora.net)
· Eva (nude.hu)
· Hannah May Rose (exgirlfriendmarket.com)

· Holly Peers (hotsexyscenes.com)
· Ivy Snow (allpornmodels.com)
· Jordan B (nakedanatomy.com)
· Krystal (asredas.com)

· Nansy (sensualgirls.org)
· Natalia (sweettanda.com)
· Natsuki Kumada (girlsofdesire.org)
· Raylene (morazzia.com)

· Stevie & Faye (hottystop.com)
· Tabby Faith (gorillamask.net)
· Wendy Fiore (foxhq.com)
· Yvonne (silkengirl.com)

And don’t forget…

· Adrianna Meehan
· Dorothee & Jenna
· Rose
· Sam & Marie

…and all the rest of the Fleshbot Babes!

*****

Previously: Best of Babelogs Archive

"This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX" Is Packing More Than Just Protons

For one, it’s packing some of the best 3D imagery that I’ve seen in porn. Oh, and it also came with a free trading card! I got Alexis Texas as the Ghost Librarian! Her turn on: “riding her Sybian and reading historical nonfiction at the same time.” More »

Five States That Porn Valley Could Relocate To

Well, the notes are in from the Cal/OSHA porn summit…and things don’t seem too hopeful for the fine, upstanding pornographers of California. Could this be the end of Porn Valley as we know it? More »

Angela Martini Flashes The Majority Of Her Vulva At The CFDA Awards

Are you getting tired of all this CFDA business? Because we’re not. At this rate, we’ll be writing about the CFDA Fashion Awards for the next month. The newest slip: Miss Universe Albania/Kanye West’s latest hook-up, Angela Martini! More »

The Erotic Adventures Of Barbie And Friends

Back in the days of our youth, when the first pangs of sexual curiosity were infiltrating our budding young brain, we took a Ken doll, laid him on top of a Barbie, and forced them to writhe around in a simulation of what we assumed sexual ecstasy must be like. More »

Move Into The Light

X, My pussy gets wet just typing that little erotic letter. I mean just glimpsing it down there on my keyboard, my nipples get hard. But then my skin is so sensitive these days that any old letter is likely to set me off on increasingly vivid fantasies. “QWERTY” is like dirty talk to me. More »

For one, it’s packing some of the best 3D imagery that I’ve seen in porn. Oh, and it also came with a free trading card! I got Alexis Texas as the Ghost Librarian! Her turn on: “riding her Sybian and reading historical nonfiction at the same time.”

This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX

Studio: Hustler
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Raven Alexis, Alexis Texas, Sarah Shevon, Lily LaBeau, Jennifer Dark, Joselyn James, Evan Stone, Tee Reel, Alec Knight, Jeremy Conway, James Deen

When I first picked up “This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX,” I was pretty apprehensive. The last Hustler 3D parody porn that I watched was “This Ain’t Avatar XXX” and the 3D made it practically unwatchable. However, not only was I blown away by the imagery in “Ghostbusters XXX,” I felt that Axel Braun really captured the spirit of the beloved 1984 film.

Actually, I think it was Evan Stone who captured 1984′s Bill Murray. Evan, as Dr. Peter Venkman, starts off testing Lily LaBeau’s psychic abilities with some cards, but soon he has her bent over his desk with her panties pulled to the side. It literally takes twenty minutes of sweating, spanking, hair-pulling, and desk-creaking ruthless fucking before they even get naked, and when they do, buttons fly everywhere.

At one point, Evan cockslaps Lily in her jaw, and I had to pause for a moment and reflect. This kind of behavior is normal for porn, yet there was something unusual about the way in which Evan was bashing his boner against Lily’s face. Then I realized this is exactly how Bill Murray would cockslap a woman: gleefully. Evan also stores a sample of Lily’s come in a petri dish.

Raven Alexis makes a marvelous Dana Barrett, and we all feel that she should rock Sigourney Weaver’s curly retro locks as often as possible. She looks equally lovely when possessed by Zuul, but she unfortunately does not fuck like Zuul. Does she orgasm like Zuul? I’m going to say yes based on the fact that Raven’s orgasms are frequent, violent, and bring the wrath of Gozer the Gozerian.

Gozer, briefly played by Jennifer Dark, commands the Ain’t Ghostbusters to choose their destroyer, at which point Alec Knight accidentally thinks of his mom (Joselyn James). She demands to be fucked by a thirteen-inch cock and Tee Reel is the only man for the job. It’s a funny twist on the actual ending, but I don’t see why they couldn’t have tied the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in. It’s more cushion for the pushin’!

Tee Reel’s dick slinging is always superb, but we wish he had played a bigger part in the movie overall. Winston Zeddemore had some of the sharpest one-liners in “Ghostbusters,” and having Tee show up in the parody at the last possible moment seems like a waste of great material. At the very least, the other gentleman acknowledge Tee’s sudden appearance with a self-deprecating chuckle.

In general, “This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX” runs out of steam over two hours. The first scenes of the film draw from the dialogue and details of the source, making them the strongest and funniest in the whole parody. But by the time Dana runs into the nerdy Louis, things fall apart (with apologies to Chinua Achebe); the pace speeds up uncomfortably and segues between sex scenes become quite clumsy.

For example, I was dying to see how Janine Melnitz (the hot secretary, pornified by Sarah Shevon) gets fucked in this parody, more so than any other character! When Evan finishes boning Zuul, a phone call to Egon (James Deen) allows us to cut to Ghostbusters HQ where Janine and Louis are hanging out. Louis says something about Gozer, Janine makes it into an innuendo, and then everybody is fucking. Yes, it was lovely watching her get spit roasted as saliva dangled next to the chain on her enormous glasses, but did Egon and Louis earn that roast? Also, I should add that while Rick Moranis played Louis as a geeky, earnest, and lovable goofball, Jeremy Conway plays Louis as more of a pervert with no social filters.

But hey, porn isn’t perfect! You simply can’t please everyone’s preferences in parody porn, but I have to admit that Axel Braun did a damn good job of making sure my pet peeves were put down. The special effects are both flashy and appropriate, the acting captures the spirit of the original film, and most importantly, the sex is solid. The only thing this movie is missing is a Fleshlight tie-in.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy “This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX” (store.fleshbot.com)

Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Evan Stone, Alec Knight, and James Deen
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Jennifer Dark
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Joselyn James and Tee Reel
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Joselyn James and Tee Reel
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Joselyn James and Tee Reel
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Joselyn James and Tee Reel
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Lily LaBeau and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Lily LaBeau and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Sarah Shevon, Raven Alexis, and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Lily LaBeau and Evan Stone
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Sarah Shevon, James Deen, and Jeremy Conway
Hustler (hustler.com)
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Raven Alexis and Jeremy Conway
Hustler (hustler.com)
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We know that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but we have to appreciate the way this woman adorns her body with lingerie. It takes this POV extravaganza from chill to thrilling.

And who doesn’t like unwrapping a present like this? Never forget folks: you can’t spell lingerie without “linger.”

· Hot Sex With Lingerie (pornhub.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

As Marvel seeks to make movies for every one of the Avengers, Vivid seeks to quickly follow them with porn parodies of each avenging hero. Today, the Hulk, tomorrow, Iron Man? While you mull on what that might be like, take a peek at this preview of “The Incredible Hulk XXX.” [Vivid]

I prefer to think of “Fuck Myself 2″ as more of an instructional video than entertainment-purposes porno. It’s two hours of women masturbating, which is great if you need new and inventive ways to get yourself off. I feel it’s especially pertinent if you like watching girls orgasm. Or if you’re thinking of masturbating in front of your partner!

If you read my column on “Wet 2,” you’ve more or less read my review of this as well. The films are both from Low Art, and while this features girls fucking themselves with their hands/dildos/candles and “Wet 2″ had them fucking one another, the format remains constant. Sexy music, lots of water and low lights and chairs in the middle of warehouses!

Hmm. What is there to say, really, about a bunch of hot girls masturbating? Well, they’re hot. I preferred Cadence Cross, because I love her tattoos, the fact that she bothered using a dildo, and that she had no music for the first part of her scene (it’s totally silent.) I also liked Jayden James, who played with candle wax, and Tiffany, who wore some awesome purple eyeshadow and slightly resembled that singer from the ’80s named Tiffany, and Ann Marie Rios, who’s just really freaking sexy.

The only person who I wasn’t really into was Shyla Stylez. That’s because she was wearing this sheer white nylon body suit and poured what appeared to be grape Kool-Aid all over herself. Also some orange Kool-Aid. I don’t really forsee imitating that unless I’m masturbating outside in the summertime, possibly by a private pool. (I don’t know anyone with a private pool, unfortunately, so that’s unlikely.)

I think this would be a good film to have in your collection if you like watching girls (as I know some of you do) but you’re bored of the interactions between performers. I get tired of that sometimes. I don’t want my masturbation concentration (ha) broken by some inane dialogue that I can’t help but make fun of. I really love male masturbation films, the kind that you usually get as bonus scenes in gay porn, so this was a fun change of pace in that realm.

Also, Low Life advertises pretty heavily that this is shot on film. I didn’t see much difference, but maybe you’re into that! I really did think this movie was sexy, especially the dark, industrial aesthetic. Not quite as good as the lesbian sex of “Wet 2,” but still definitely worth seeing.

· Buy “Fuck Myself 2″ (store.fleshbot.com)

Previously: Porn For Straight Girls Archive

As you may have noticed, we spend a decent amount of time cruising fashion blogs in search of all the boobs that high fashion has to offer. Well, it seems we’re not the only ones who do this: turns out, there’s a whole entire blog that’s devoted to nudity in fashion. It’s like they’re doing our job for us (and, uh, thanks for that!) (Naked Fashion, via indienudes.com)

We never thought we’d say this, but here we are: The New Yorker agrees with us that it’s totally normal to photograph your junk. At least in the context of a humor piece: [New Yorker]

Back in the days of our youth, when the first pangs of sexual curiosity were infiltrating our budding young brain, we took a Ken doll, laid him on top of a Barbie, and forced them to writhe around in a simulation of what we assumed sexual ecstasy must be like.

Well, Cinema Erotique has taken our pre-pubescent explorations and stepped them up a notch in a filthy little stop motion short starring Barbie, Ken, and one of their very close friends. We’ve seen a copy of the film (available on Cinema Erotique), and, well—it may be short (about two minutes), but it’s way, way hotter than anything we managed to get our Barbies to do.

· See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)

See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)
See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)
See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)
See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)
See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)
See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)
See the video at Cinema Erotique (cinemaerotique.com)

We’re not sure at what point in history it was decided that smiling wasn’t sexy, and hot babes had to put forth a
pouty duck face to be the object of anyone’s affection. But, if it please you, the people, we’d like to respectfully suggest that whenever that was, it was a dark moment in history. Smiling is sexy, damnit—and we’re happy to see that someone’s finally recognized that fact, and created a blog solely devoted to celebrating it.

· Happy Naked People (happynakedpeople.tumblr.com, indienudes.com)

Even though we still take issue with the name of this series, “Mom’s Cuckold 6″ looks phenomenal. We can’t get enough of the simultaneously humiliating and uplifting booty quaking that occurs in this Reality Junkies production; freaky grammar be damned!

We must mention this: the photos for “Mom’s Cuckold 6″ are priceless. Every actor has the perfect facial expression and body language for the scene! It was incredibly difficult to choose one to be the top photo, but we had to go with one without penetration in it. Anyway, onto the infidelity!

Sledge Hammer is back as the most popular personal trainer in America, and Zoe Voss’s husband has hired him to get Zoe into shape. How dare he make a comment about her body like that! Not only does Zoe intend to get a leaner, stronger body, she intends to do so by fucking Sledge silly while her hubby watches. Mr. Hammer shows Zoe how to clench her core muscles as she lowers herself onto his huge cock, and when the husband complains about this pornographic pilates session, Zoe just chokes him. It’s probably good for her arms!

Roxanne Hall’s husband constantly pesters her about getting a sex toy so he can watch her play with herself, so she finally decided to go out and find the perfect toy. Her husband had no idea that Roxanne would bring Jon Jon home, and he refuses to stand by while Jon Jon gets his Rox off. But Roxanne grabs a fistful of her hubby’s hair and is like, “Hell naw. You wanted to see me come; this is what it looks like.” So as her man sits around sulking, Roxanne has Jon Jon pound her pussy hard from behind.

Phylisha Anne was having trouble deciding what to do for her boyfriend’s birthday, but Tyler Knight helped her figure out a plan. Surprise, sweetheart! Tyler is balls-deep in Phylisha. We don’t know why we don’t see Tyler more often, because he is beyond classy. Even when he’s licking Phylisha’s fingers and making her squeal with joy, he still seems to treat the cuckold with care. Then again, maybe he’s only kind when compared with Phylisha, who enjoys kicking her man in the nuts.

Bodily harm aside, everyone has a good time in “Mom’s Cuckold 6.” Ok, maybe not everyone, but everyone who matters!

· Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
· Buy “Mom’s Cuckold 6″ (adultdvdempire.com)

Dana DeArmond and Nathan Threat
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Dana DeArmond and Nathan Threat
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Dana DeArmond and Nathan Threat
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Darla Crane and Julius Ceazher
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Darla Crane and Julius Ceazher
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Darla Crane and Julius Ceazher
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Darla Crane and Julius Ceazher
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Phylisha Anne and Tyler Knight
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Phylisha Anne and Tyler Knight
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Phylisha Anne and Tyler Knight
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Phylisha Anne and Tyler Knight
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Roxanne Hall and Jon Jon
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Roxanne Hall and Jon Jon
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Roxanne Hall and Jon Jon
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Roxanne Hall and Jon Jon
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Zoe Voss and Sledge Hammer
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Zoe Voss and Sledge Hammer
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Zoe Voss and Sledge Hammer
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Zoe Voss and Sledge Hammer
Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)
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Are you getting tired of all this CFDA business? Because we’re not. At this rate, we’ll be writing about the CFDA Fashion Awards for the next month. The newest slip: Miss Universe Albania/Kanye West’s latest hook-up, Angela Martini!

The cause: she did not wear any underwear whatsoever. We’re cool with that, but given the Swanepoel and Gaga exposure that’s already happened, we can imagine that the Council of Fashion Designers of America sent Martini a stern letter telling her to pull a stunt like this. As happy as we are about the vagina slip, we want this stuff to be organic.

Can you? It’s no big deal if you can’t, but you shouldn’t expect Nate “Igor” Smith to take pictures of you then. He’s a professional photographer and he has a right to demand topless feats of strength from his models.

Actually, he’s good friends with this gorgeous Suicide Girl, and he snapped a few photos of her when she last visited. What more can we say? We love her look, and we also love the way she looks on 35mm film. These are the first nude photos Flux has done in years; we’re sure she has good reasons, though we can’t help but feel the world needs her nudity on a regular basis. Well, at least we need it.

· Flux Suicide | Driven By Boredom (drivenbyboredom.com)