Meet Elli and Desi Foxx, who are about as close as a mother and daughter can possibly be: they live together, started working in the adult industry together … and now they’re even going to shoot a porn scene together! After all, a family that lays together stays together (and yes, you can totally quote us on that). (thenaughtyamerican.com)

Hitting the beach this weekend? Hopefully you’ll be lucky enough to spot a topless beach babe (or two or a dozen). And if not … well, this should be more than enough to make up for it. Hey, we’re trying to help! (totallyupyours.com)

Excited as we are to be packing up and heading home for the weekend, there are a few things we always miss about the ol’ 9 to 5 grind whenever we’re not at work. You know, things like that comforting drone of copy machines in the background … the cool, gently flickering glow of overhead florescent lights … and especially all those the intraoffice blowjobs, the desktop sex sessions, and the lunchtime masturbation breaks. Wait, your office isn’t like that? Well, you might want to consider looking for a new employer—we hear some of these places are hiring! Better hop along after the jump and start checking out our roundup of the top ten office sex videos—we’re sure the resumés are going to start piling up pretty quickly once word gets out about what kind of benefits these companies are offering.

Hot Office Fuck (redtube.com)

Amateur Doggystyle Office Fuck(pornhub.com)

Fucking in the Office (megarotic.com)

Fuck colleague in the office (megarotic.com)

Turkish Horny Secretary in Office (megarotic.com)

Homemade couple caught on spycam 0028. (megarotic.com)

Office fuck and creampie (megarotic.com)

Office CCTV – Girl Caught Masturbating (megarotic.com)

Nice Office Blowjob!! (megarotic.com)

Horny Secretary #2 (megarotic.com)

Hello there, mysterious headless eBay lady who goes by the handle chantelley1981. We’re very happy to see that you have an impressive 99.3% positive feedback rating from your satisfied customers, though we have to admit that figure strikes us as a little high: do you mean to tell us that you’ve sold all that clothing and not once has anyone complained that the top you sent them was all stretched out in the chest area? (Or wait—maybe that’s where that 0.7% negative feedback came from. Some people are just too picky.) (eBay – thanks Lucas)

And speaking of celebrity sex scandals in the news this week, apparently dirty photos of former “Germany’s Next Top Model” contestant Gina-Lisa have surfaced online. But unlike Verne Troyer, Gina-Lisa isn’t mad that her naughty bits are on display; she’s just worried that other women will get jealous when they see the pics. Aren’t Germans so much more civilized? (And yes, we know that this post stretches the limits of what constitutes a “celebrity sex scandal”. But we had to do something to get all that midget porn out of our heads.) (bild.de)

Speaking of midget porn superstars, it seems that Verne Troyer will not be letting anyone distribute his sex tape anytime soon. We’re sure the folks at celeb porn purveyor Red Light District are bummed at the loss of another revenue stream, but in this case we think it’s probably all for the best. In fact, we’re positive it’s all for the best. Really. (telegraph.co.uk)

We know. “We’re evolved enough as porn consumers to not expect a literal interpretation of the title on the boxcover, hence why these harlots are outside and not actually in detention,” you might say. But that wasn’t the point we were going to make. Instead, dazzle us like last week’s winner did and come up with a Motown girl group name for the flashing harlots on the bench.

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Buy “Young Harlots – In Detention” (gamelink.com)

You would be forgiven for thinking that Incredible Digital’s “Midget Cum #4″ was one of those opportunistic porn releases designed to capitalize on current events, seeing how the press release arrived in our inbox on the very same day we heard about a certain high-profile celebrity sex tape involving a certain low-profile celebrity. But in one of those spooky yet delightful coincidences that make life worth living, it seems that the two are completely unrelated: after all, the Verne Troyer thing pretty much came out of nowhere, and the venerable “Midget Cum” series is already on its fourth installment. And although we won’t be sure of his credentials until we get our screener, we have no reason to doubt that Baby Gangster is in fact every inch the “larger-than-life midget superstar” the press release tells us he is. So if Mr. Troyer is intending to compete with him for the title, maybe he should watch this first to see how it’s done. (Full press release after the jump.)

. . .

Midget Cum #4 – the #1 Midget Seller – Cums at You Again with a Pregger Surprise!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

(Hightstown, NJ) June 26, 2008 – Incredible Digital’s number-one selling midget line cums at you again with its latest release – Midget Cum #4, distributed by IVD Exclusives (www.ivd1.com).

Streeting today, Thursday, June 26, 2008, Midget Cum #4 stars the larger-than-life midget superstar, Baby Gangster. This little person may only be three-and-a-half feet tall, but he sure knows how to reach new levels in female stimulation…even if it means he has to stand on a chair or countertop to get there!

In the DVD, the luckiest midget in the world gets to bang a half-dozen chicks… and they tittie-fuck, give blow-jobs, do it doggie-style, and even brush their teeth with Baby Gangster’s love potion! Midget Cum #4 is also the debut for Baby Gangster’s latest girlfriend, Chloe Veria, a 19-year old Columbian import now steaming up adult lenses. Quasaar Salaam, Lisamelly Vasquez, Mariella Rivera, Incredible and Belli Bardou also star in this latest release. And get this: one of these lovely Latina ladies has a small bun in the oven – but we’re not spilling the proverbial beans on which star shows her pregnant belly in the film! You’ll just have to check out the movie for yourself to see!

· Incredible Digital (incredibledigital.com)

· Order: “Midget Cum #4″ (adultdvdempire.com)

Despite the helpful instructions in the introduction to this list of Top 10 skinny dipping topless movie scenes, we think it takes a lot more than just a perfect starry night and a couple of bottles of tequila to make all your fondest skinny dipping fantasies come true: judging from the video evidence, it doesn’t hurt to have a film crew and a big wad of cash on hand either. We hear that Kate Winslet won’t take her top off and run into the water for less than six figures no matter how much tequila you give her. (unibrow.uber.com)

We’ve already gone into a fair amount of detail about why that promised iPhone 3G porn revolution certain big media outlets seem so obsessed with lately is just a load of hooey–but it never hurts to have a second opinion about these things. Even if we still seem to be the only ones who think RubMyClit is the best reason to buy an iPhone in the first place. (sfgate.com)

Yet another family bought some perfectly innocent household item… only to discover it was full of porn, which has never happened to us or anyone we know. Which obviously means that we are totally shopping at the wrong stores. (wkrg.com)

Because everyone needs something to write home about…

• Carli Banks (pleasuregirl.net)
• Catalina Cruz (100bucksbabes.com)
• Claudia Nathalia (baberoad.com)
• Daemon (nude.hu)
• Francesca (girlsofdesire.org)

• Inga (nakedneighbour.com)
• Jamie Bradford (babeslog.net)
• Jamie Hammer (nextpink.com)
• Jana Foxy (novostrong.com)
• Jenya (galleries.pmates.com)
• Katerina (nextdoormania.com)

• Karlie Montana (nudeparadisehotel.com)
• Klaudia Orsi (glam0ur.com)
• Lizzie (hq69.com)

• Meggan (eros-and-grace.net)
• Nakeisha (doctorteen.com)
• Nataly (join2babes.com)
• Nika (kindgirls.com)
• Samantha Blake (dailyniner.com)
• Shyla Stylez (bustynudebabes.com)

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Previously: Best of Babelogs Archive

By now you know that as soon as someone appears in a porn movie, she is immediately a “porn star”. So it’s easy to believe that a compilation series like Pink Visual’s “Before They Were Stars” to be much different from anything else. But with minimal makeup, overhead lighting, and a low budget, people like Daisy Marie, Sammie Rhodes, and Leah Luv really do appear hesitant and unsure, as opposed to the studied porn practitioners they would eventually become after three or four more scenes.

We start with current “Playboy” favorite Daisy Marie and a woman named Nancy. I have never seen Nancy again, have you? Though it was an early scene for Daisy, she was ultra-confident by comparison with Nancy in a staged “bikini modeling” motif, in which people who’ve already signed documents agreeing to take their clothes off are asked to appear surprised to be asked to take their clothes off.

But in Nancy’s case the audience sees a little bit of that nervousness, and isn’t surprised to learn that a porn career wasn’t up her alley.

Perennial Fleshbot Object of Concern^TM Dirty Harry appears in a scene with Leah Luv, in which the orthodontically-enhanced 18-year-old makes him wear her panties for a hundred bucks.

Finally, Sammie Rhodes seduces a hesitant Kelly Kline against the familiar walls of Pink Visual’s studio. It takes a collection of scenes like this to remind us that, graphic and clinical as most porn can be, its performers are very rarely naked.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

· Buy “Before They Were Stars 4″ (tlavideo.com)e

Everyone knows that if there’s one thing better than one hot naked babe, it’s two hot naked babes. And the one thing hotter than that? Why, three hot naked babes … all rolling around in bed together, no less! Now, some might suggest that this logically implies that four naked girls rolling around in bed together would be even hotter, but quite frankly our brains are already on the verge of melting to even consider such mathematical possibilities. So let’s just take things one step at a time for now, OK?

. . .

· 3 Snatches (megarotic.com)

Although we’re as anxious as most of you for the whole Verne Troyer sex tape brouhaha to go the way of Gene Simmons and Joey Buttafuco (= straight to that deeply sequestered part of our mind where we store things like “Small Wonder” and the last couple of Liz Phair albums), we’d be remiss in our duties if we didn’t tell you about this radio interview with his lady friend Ranae Shrider in which we’re told she discusses “the size of his peen and everything”. No, we didn’t listen to it ourselves. Even our sense of duty has its limits. (w/photo gallery @ 933flz.com – thanks Shawn)

Sure, some might think that this debate about having sex with a robot hooker is just a silly thing to laugh over while you’re enjoying a pint or two–but as we’ve told you before, questions like this are going to be very serious ones in the future. So isn’t it better you take the time to clarify your own position on the matter now? (asylum.com; thumbnail via Obscene Machines)

Some guys are appreciated for their minds; others are just handy to have around for opening jars. But for the writers in today’s roundup of some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene, it’s all about the cock. Pity the woman who craves the missing meat in her throat, and the bound submissive who is denied what seems just within tongue’s reach. And marvel at the cock that can’t seem to decide whether it’s orgasmed or not, the john too clueless to detect a blowjob … and the curvaceous beauty who comes packing a very different kind of heat.

See how it’s hanging with Jefferson after the jump.

. . .

Sex Blog Roundup

by Jefferson

- – -

Girls With Something Extra

Offering me a glass of wine, we relaxed for a few minutes on a large leather couch and discussed the details of what was about to take place. During our introductory phone call, I indicated to her that I was the submissive type, but after having actually seen her I made up my mind I had to have a piece of that ass and that I wanted to violate every part of her body.

“The first timers are always the wildest,” she laughed, and with that she stood and her robe came off. While genetically “she” is still a “he,” her body was far better than most women I had seen. Her advertised measurements were 38-24-36, which by my eyes was exactly right.

- Impaled Male

- – -

Strange Ejaculation

He was kneeling there with his cock in his hand, his come dripping down the sides of my breasts. He looked puzzled.

“I came,” he said. “But I didn’t, you know, come.”

I was pretty dazed, so I was having a hard time processing confusing statements.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I came, but I didn’t have an orgasm.”

- Debauchette

- – -

The Most Revolting Client An Escort Could Ever Have

Heres the funny part-he said “Ohhh, I haven’t been sucked like that in a long time. Oh, you are so good at that. Yeah, suck me.” My mouth didn’t once touch his dick, nor did more than two of my fingers.

He’s foolishly asked “Can I cum in your mouth” and I said “No”-then I realized that I forgot to stop simulating the blow job when I spoke, because its obviously impossible to speak clearly with a dick in your mouth, but he was such an idiot he didn’t even realize it.

- Collegehookerboy’s Hot and Disturbing Weblog

- – -

Tears of Many Kinds, Part One

He steps back, through tear clouded eyes I see his cock, so hard that it’s straining at the pants he has yet to remove. I lick my dry lips at the thought of taking him in my mouth.

“You’re not getting my cock yet, bitch,” he spits out. His accompanying cruel derisive laugh makes me wish I wasn’t tied up so I could slap him.

- Urban Gypsy

- – -

Meet Josette

We kiss for about twenty minutes. My hands sometimes on her breasts. Sometimes on her butt. I’d love to be able to say that we ended up fucking on the hood of her car. But the truth is, that was about it. Second base is how we’d score this one back in the day.

Maybe I could have taken it further, but that’s not what this was all about. The real rush was just the fact that we both kissed and let each other know we were into each other. For me, that’s even better than sex. I like the mental more than the physical.

Or maybe I’m just justifying why I didn’t get any further.

- Ashley and Me

- – -

Gulping Fuck

All I can think about is having a long hard stiff shaft shoved down my throat until my body flinches with lust. A strange tickle in the back of my throat, and a series of hard swallows usually follows a particularly intense orgasm for me.

I believe this is a direct result of conditioning not unlike Pavlov’s theory, in that every time I cum, my throat gets tight and the next thing I want is cock in my mouth. I beg for it even!

- Kinkerbelle

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See also: Sugasm #137: The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them (sugasm.com)

Thumbnail via Monsters Of Cock (TGP/preview gallery @ bangbros1.com, via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive