Usually when we get our paws on a new porn DVD here at Fleshbot Central we don’t do much by way of preparation when it comes time to review it aside from making sure the fast forward button is in working order on our remote and that we have a supply of Handi Wipes at the ready just in case we … uh, spill our caipirinhas while we’re watching it. But when the delightful Kimberly Kane sent us a copy of her new Vivid Alt joint “Morphine” this week, it arrived with a suggestion that we check out this video clip first to better understand her reasons for making it. And now that we’ve heard Kimberly tell us all about her days working in a strip mall strip club-cum-quickie bordello … well, we’re more intrigued about “Morphine” than ever. (We also can’t wait to see more of her flashing her panties at us. Pour yourself a caipirinha and join us after the jump so we can watch that clip together, won’t you?)

. . .

· The Sugar Shack Confessional (youtube.com)
· Kimberly Kane’s Kane Army (klubkimberlykane.com)
· Vivid Alt (vivid-alt.com)

One of the great questions of our age will finally be answered in this pro wrestling-style “sports entertaintment” extravaganza: Which cuckolding scenario is the most humiliating to be on the business (i.e., “eating”) end of, a “10-Man Cum Slam” or a “5-guy cream pie”? Tough choices to be sure–but let’s try to look past the uncomfortable racial undertones and focus on the humiliation, shall we? Impressive though their feats may be the real stars here aren’t Adrianna Nicole or Samantha Sin, nor the faceless hordes getting off in and on their presence: it’s the two half-men squaring off in this battle royale to be the most debased of all. Even Kick Ass Pictures honcho Mark Kulkis can’t settle this matter, because he claims he couldn’t sit through it … and he produced the damn thing. You’re not going to get a stronger endorsement than that.

· “World’s Biggest Cum Eating Cuckold” (DVD info + downloads @ kickass.com)
· “Who Is ‘The World’s Biggest Cum-Eating Cuckold’?” (press release @ avn.com)

Previously: Great Moments In Cuckoldry: Dirty Harry In “Mandinka Parties”, This Week In Bad Press Releases: Cuckolding For Dummies

Exhausted by the seemingly neverending election season? If you don’t give a rat’s ass about exit polls, take a break from Clinton vs. Obama with an election that really matters: Stockroom.com’s National Butt Month Competition , an intense campaign to determine who shall be crowned (if that’s the right term) with coveted title of Best Ass in both male and female categories. Sure, the results of this election probably won’t end the war or get us universal healthcare, but we promise the debates will be a lot more interesting. (Come to think about it, this might be one way to decide that whole Democratic nomination thing once and for all. Quick, someone get a camera!)

· Buttmonth: Vote for the Best Male and Female Ass! (sandm.com)

For some folks, last weekend’s Exxxotica Miami was an excuse to pass out anti-porn propoganda; for others, it was an opportunity to go face-to-breast with assorted porn babes and take pictures of Ron Jeremy. See? Porn really is all things to all people! (uncoached.com)

A European report reveals that companies that limit employee internet usage are more likely to block Facebook and Orbitz than sites like … well, Fleshbot. No wonder our traffic is so good during the day! (vnunet.com)

Marketing adult content is hard, especially when you’re trying to promote your new website in these uncertain economic times. Still, there are a couple of things that should be sort of obvious “don’ts” –like “Don’t spam every adult review site you can find with some poorly worded attempt at a press release” and “Don’t fuck up the spelling of your URL in said press release (especially if the URL is your own name)”. Luckily for Joanna Bliss, we happen to really like big boobs, so we’re willing to overlook those little faux pas. But just this once. (Unless she sends us more big boob pics, in which case all bets are off. We’re total suckers that way.)

· Joanna Bliss | Big Breast Bliss (joannabliss.com)

Because the British can’t get enough Heather Mills bashing, the tabloids are now claiming that she used to be a £10,000-a-night lesbian prostitute. (Although, we’re not sure if making out with another girl in front of rich dudes technically counts as “prostitution.”) Maybe she’ll think twice the next time she tries to marry a Beatle. (dailystar.co.uk)

Elizabeth Hurley isn’t just the designer of these bikinis, she’s also the model. Who cares if she got a little help from the airbrushers? None of us are ready for swimsuit season. (dailymail.co.uk + cameltap.com)

While Pennsylvania citizens may gripe that yesterday was the last they’ll see of Barack and Hillary until their vote is needed again, Jesse Jane will revisit the Keystone State (thus coined in 1802 as “the keystone of the democratic arch”) to arch and grind for the residents of Allentown at the folksy Erv’s Ladies’ and Gentlemens’ Club. “Maybe they’ve taken all the coal from the ground,” Jane did not say, “but I’m only interested in the wood.” (ervsgirls.com)

Because a hump day by any other name would smell as sweet …

· Ally (kindgirls.com)
· Alyssa (hq69.com)
· Anna (bustyandsexy.net)
· Felina (babesdump.net)

· Gabrielle (bigboobs.hu)
· Irishka (nextdoormania.com)
· Jessica Jaymes (babezplanet.com)
· Katlian Ryan (novoporn.com)

· Kayden Kross (hasbabes.com)
· Lynn Nealey (nussieheaven.com)
· Nata (go-girls-go.com)
· Olja (babesmachine.com)

· Sheila Marie (baberoad.com)
· Siren (babesdiary.com)
· Stevie Scholes (z0d.com)
· Vanessa (labatidora.net)

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Previously: Best of Babelogs Archives

The state you live in may or may not have helmet laws for motorcyle riders, but we’re pretty sure they have laws against whatever this couple is attempting. (Some southern states probably even have laws on the books outlawing a few of their other stunts too, with or without the bike.) The point is, unless your last name is Knievel, leave the daredevil stuff to the people who are most qualified to do it: semi-amateur online pornstars, of course.

. . .

· “Motorbike Couple doing it outdoors” (RedTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Director Will Ryder hasn’t always made his fortune strip mining 70′s pop culture television for porn spoofs: once upon a time the former boy band crooner earned the equivalent of what he now spends on payola for “The Insider” the honest way, by shooting nubile teen cuties with daddy complexes as desperate for affection as they are their next fix of Double Bubble.

Adam & Eve imprint Bad Seed is set to release the third volume of Ryder’s teen debutante series “Bubblegum Cuties” this week and gracing us with their tender blossoms are Marina Mae, Marissa Mendoza, Faye Valentine, Brooke Belle, and Isabella Amour. Five up and coming porn starlets, each more hungry than the next to be the next Jenna Jameson … what more can you ask for? (OK, maybe Teagan Presley with magical witch powers, but you can’t have everything.)

· Adam & Eve (adamandeve.com)

In 1975, European movie audiences were enthralled by “The Beast,” an erotic horror film about a young woman ravished by a mysterious cloven footed manimal. Then a few years later, “Star Wars” came out and someone had the genius-level brainstorm, “What if The Beast … was in space?” That’s how you end up with this sci-fi erotic adventure, just re-released on DVD by Severin Films (the fine folks who brought you “Malabimba” and “The Sister of Ursula.”) We’ll have a full review of the film for you soon, but for now here’s a little taste of what happens when Italian “spaghetti sci-fi” meets lurid French hardcore. With evil, mineral-hoarding robots!

· The Beast in Space (XXX Version) (severin-films.com)

It looks like Burning Angel has launched their site redesign and (surprise!) … we like it! Though it does bear a slight resemblance to a certain litigation happy altporn megasite we know. Let’s hope nobody gets sued. (burningangel.com)

Casey Parker’s Golden State travelogue “California Dreamin’” follows the plucky Shane’s World star up and down the coast where she finds love and learns a little about the state that allows if not condones her way of life. Try not to think about what her gas budget must have been like and join us for a review after the jump.

. . .

The first stop is Catalina Island with a pre-pregnancy Paulina James and a pre-arrest Jack Venice. Reeking of alcohol, they are denied a bike rental. Somehow they are allowed golf carts. They make their way to the west side of the island and engage in some clifftop action against the overcast Pacific sky.

Back in L.A., Casey picks up Devon for a beachside romp. They race like blonde gazelles across the sand, if that’s what gazelles do, and if gazelles can be blonde. Then they retreat to a bedroom where they compare tattoos.

“You have such a spankable ass, dude,” declares Devon.

Next, it’s off to wine country. Parker explains how raisins are made, then declares that she hates raisins.

The blonder the partner, the better the scene. Parker meets Aubrey Addams in Napa and they repair to a hotel room (the initial promise of the outdoor scene with Paulina James fades as each vignette starts outside but ducks for cover pretty quickly; still, the effort is appreciated).

In San Francisco, Parker poses for pictures on a trolley. That she is so adorable and the guys she picks up are so lunky by comparison must appeal to the college audiences Shane’s World caters to in the same way that Ron Jeremy is often held up as the hero of the average American male.

Finally home (Parker did not get laid in San Francisco, she says, though Reena Sky did), Parker hooks up with Charles Dera for a scene with real chemistry.

Shane’s World tries hard to maintain a reality-based road trip atmosphere in its movies, and the very personable and engaging Parker is able to pull this off where others might not be able to carry the movie. We like that she finally gets what she wants in the end.

- Review by Gram Ponante

. . .

Casey Parker’s California Dreamin’
Studio: Shane’s World
Director: No clue
Cast: Casey Parker, Devon, Paulina James, Aubrey Addams, Reena Sky

· Shane’s World (shanesworld.com)
· Buy “Casey Parker’s California Dreamin’” (gamelink.com)

We’d never heard of Karla Edecan until this morning, and chances are you haven’t either: apparently, she’s a cheerleader for a Tijuana baseball team who decided one day that she wanted to be famous … and what better way to get tongues wagging about her than to engineer a “leak” of eight homemade sex videos to the interweb? At least that’s the story our friends at Machochip told us when they introduced us to Karla and her considerable posterior charms; according to them, “she’s a nobody wanting to become a somebody via doggystyle.” Looks like her strategy is working–judge for yourself after the jump.

. . .

· “Babe from Chile” (sic) (redtube.com)
· “Karla Edecan, Mexican Cheerleader, Made A Sextape” (machochip.com)

Judging from her answers in this interview, Moni Michaels sure sounds like our kind of girl. (You know, the kind that likes to have rough sex in moving cars.) Sadly, her personal website seems to be down, so we’ll just have to track down one of her movies to see just how extreme she can get. (mensfitness.com + xpeeps.com)

Have you met sexy Italian babe Rosaria Cannavò? We haven’t either, but if you do run into her and could pass along our email address, that would be great. (areaticino.com)