Archive for August 1st, 2007

Stormy Daniels Answers Maroon 5′s “Wake Up Call”

2007_08_01_stormy.jpgIf you’ve ever doubted that porn stars are magic, behold the power of Stormy Daniels: prior to this morning we’d never sat through an entire Maroon 5 video, and now we find ourselves suddenly compelled to watch their new clip for “Wake Up Call” over and over again just to see whether we can spot her amongst all those tied-up babes, pole dancers, and cheesy production effects. (She’s apparently the one wearing the Vivid Wicked necklace, in case that helps.) Is there anything that gal can’t do?

· “Stormy Daniels Featured in Maroon 5 Music Video” (avn.com)
· Maroon 5: “Wake Up Call” (“director’s cut” version @ maroon5.com)
· Club Stormy Daniels (membership preview @ clubstormydaniels.com)

Previously: Stormy Daniels In “The One”, Porn Bayou Dispatch: Stormy Pinkness in Baton Rouge, Stormy Descending, Club Stormy

Eros Blog asks “Why do people pay for porn on the internet, when you can get so much for free?” We’ve often wondered the same thing, though it’s nice to know that other folks are paying for a lifetime subscription to RustyTrombones.com besides us. (erosblog.com)

2007_08_01_danamail.jpgYou thought that Dana DeArmond was pissed off about people in the movie theater ruining her Simpsons viewing experience? Well kids, you ain’t seen nothing yet. (myspace.com)

The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes In Cinema, More Or Less

2007_08_01_sexcinema.jpgSummer television usually consists of the worst of reruns and reality show castoffs, but occasionally a network will put in a little effort and produce something that’s actually worth watching, like IFC has done with their mini-documentary series “Indie Sex.” Starting today, (which actually meant this morning at midnight so we already missed part one) tonight, the program looks at sex in film from the early days of motion pictures through the Hayes Code and the shocking shockers of today. (Ooh! Maggie Gyllenhaal just got spanked!) As a supplement to the show, IFC’s website has teamed up with Nerve to make a list of the 50 best scenes ever to come out of the non-XXX cinema, which like any list is almost certain to leave you seething in disagreement. (They also roped Dita Von Teese into this for reasons that are not entirely clear.) You’ll either have to watch the show or wait a couple of days to find out what’s at the top of their heap, but we’re guessing you already have your own list in your head for the best date night movie romps. Share your favorites in the comments … unless you’re scared to tell us what turns you on. (Yes, we’re resorting to threats now.)

· IFC Indie Sex: The Four-Part Mini-Series Event (ifc.com)
· FAST TIMES (review @ nypost.com)
· The Nerve Film Lounge (nerve.com)

Previously: Top Lesbian Movie Scenes (Non-Porn Edition)

2007_08_01_japandoll.jpgWe’ve seen lots of odd Japanese minature sex dolls before, but never one that comes complete with a tiny double-headed implement you can use to grope with one side and prod with the other. At least it’ll come it handy if she decides to take a poop. (jcom.home.ne.jp, via sexornot.blogspot.com)

2007_08_01_vanessa.jpgYou did remember to say “rabbit rabbit” to yourself this morning before you got out of bed to mark the first day of the month, right? If you didn’t, maybe Vanessa Raia will help bring you some good luck today anyway. (z0d.com)

This Week In Bad Press Releases

2007_07_31_twibpr.jpgPorn publicists serve the need of an ever-increasing talent pool in a market littered with niches and sub-niches, and many of them are just bad, bad, bad, seeming to place too much faith in the antiquated notion that porn sells itself. But just because you dropped out of high school to devote your next few years to being a bukkake surface doesn’t mean your publicist shouldn’t be able to spell, either. After the gap, then, our first of what we know will be many Worst Press Releases of the Week.

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We debated about how we should frame this feature. Should we take names and URLs out? In this case, since pruning those things from the press release would be too much goddamn work and because, we reasoned, the client should not suffer double jeopardy by losing both precious Internet traffic and also money by not having his gibbon write his press releases, we decided to present the work in its entirety.

Hot Girls and Kung Fu!

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, along comes Hot Girls and Kung Fu in a website called Girls Gone Climbing (www.GirlsGoneClimbing.com). The newest site from webmaster Johnny Martinez, combines both martial arts clips and sexy female photos along with games, videos, cartoons and much more.

With thousands of photos of sexy women both uploaded from Johnny and his visitors, their are not enough hours in the day to go through the ever increasing gallery. To top it all off if you need a break from that you can take a look at some of the greatest martial arts scenes ever made!

“I combined two things that I enjoy and it appears that lot’s of other surfers do too! Last week Girls Gone Climbing.com was even discussed on Sirius Satellite Radio by Jason Ellis on the Faction channel! Well not so much discussed, it was more like: ‘Oh my God! Oh my God!’ Then a lot of expletives and sexual innuendos haha” said Johnny via a conference call. “It started out as a hobby and now the website is taking off quicker then I ever imagined. It’s taken on a life of its own and I add new items everyday.”

“Some days I add pictures of hot girls, funny videos, entertaining online games or a combo of them all. I’ve even started a weird photos area called ‘WTF Is That?’ which is becoming very popular because every photo makes you think: What the F Is That??! It’s become a really fun site that people love and they keep coming back because they find new stuff every day to make them laugh or forget about the stress in life!”

When asked how the name Girls Gone Climbing actually started and what it has to do with rating photos of women, his answer was one of the funniest and strangest we have ever heard.

“A year ago I partnered with a friend on my first social networking website called InnerDrama.com. It’s like MySpace.com but for fans of celebrity news and gossip but he flaked out. A little bit later he wanted to do a social network for rock climbing fans…then he decided a rock climbing site for girls. It was a flop and he flaked a second time but I kept the domain. Months later I was using it as a test site for some photo rating software but people liked it and I took it from there. So now “Girls Gone Climbing” literally means “girls trying to climb to the top of the ratings with their photos.” The site I was preparing for was a photo rating site for ugly women but I haven’t gotten back to it yet. When I do, you’re welcome to submit your mom’s photo!” said Johnny.

May God have mercy on your soul.

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Previously: Movies We Know Will Suck Dept.: “Lindsay HoHand”

2007_08_01_viagra.jpgThere are so many things wrong with this Viagra commercial that we can’t even begin to make a joke about it, but man do we really hate Elvis right now. (YouTube, via copyranter)

Oren Cohen’s daddy was a pornographer and his daddy’s daddy was a pornographer, so founding TightFit Productions was simply the natural way to carry on the family business. Plus, making porn for a living has its own rewards. (villagevoice.com)

Best Of Babelogs: Hump Day Edition

2007_08_01_bob_chiara.jpgBecause that weekend is just a few short steps away …

· Abbey Brooks (glam0ur.com)
· Amanda Duncan (coolios.net)
· Andrea (funberry.com)
· Car Babes (thesexblog.com)
· Caterina Murino (gorillamask.net)
· Chiara (labatidora.net)

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· Christine Mendoza (foxhq.com)
· Danielle (nudespuri.com)
· Jenna Nickol (onlyeros.com)
· Kate Booth (bigboobsalert.com)

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· Laundry Room Strap On (babesdiary.com)
· Lea (artinude.com)
· Lisa Marie (kindgirls.com)
· Mihiro (jheat.com)

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· Nicole (asredas.com)
· Paola Oliver (pmates.com)
· Venere (softcandies.com)
· Veronika Fasterova (fucd.com)

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Previously: Best Of Babelogs Archive

Flesh Flicks: Happy Birthday From Penny Flame

Flesh Flicks: Happy Birthday From Penny FlameWe know this video isn’t footage from a real birthday party because no matter how good a boy you think you’ve been over the last year, no one deserves to be attacked by a naked Penny Flame as a birthday present. Maybe if you cured cancer or something this would be a fair exchange, but otherwise this is a big enough gift to last a whole lifetime. Imagine being the first man in history to have his cake and fuck it too?

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Click to view

· “The Hot Birthday Present” (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

2007_08_01_jhoo_bluray2.jpgWe told you it was coming … now thrill to all the slippery high-definition lesbian orgy action you can handle as “Jenna Haze Oil Orgy”, trumpeted as the first Blu-Ray porn title (here in the West anyway), hits the shelves this week. (Or just thrill to this gallery of high-definition screencaps, which probably won’t thrill you as much unless you have a high-definition screen to view them on. But hey, it’s a lesbian oil orgy, so stop complaining.) (catalog.cdgirls.com)

2007_08_01_dita.jpgDita Von Teese shows up again today, this time in a rather lengthy video piece about her rise to the level of fashion icon. Stay tuned to the end to see a creepy British guy get his suspenders snapped by Dita. Think he enjoys it a little too much? (cnn.com)

The Wonderful World Of Liv

2007_08_01_liv.jpgUnlike many of the webcam babes crowding the online voyeur scene these days who promise a lot more than they deliver (hint: when some partially-clad cutie promises to show you everything that happens during her frequent slumber parties with her equally hot girlfriends, it’s probably just a ploy to get you to part with your credit card number), the delightful Liv is deliberately self-effacing when it comes to warning you about what you’ll find on her brand spanking new video blog: “Right now, it’s all cats and videos of my butt.” Good thing we happen to be fond of cats. (And did we mention there’s not a credit card number solicitation in sight?)

· Liv from L.A. (livfilms.blogspot.com, via Indie Nudes)

2007_08_01_chambers.jpgOne of the first pornstars who was actually, you know … a star, Marilyn Chambers, is keeping busy with non-porn acting and maybe another run for Vice President. Hey, we could all use something to sex up our ballot next year now that we found out that that “Hot For Hillary” gal isn’t really a lesbian. (projo.com)

“If someone offers you frilly women’s lingerie on the street, call police.” But why? Is that considered unusual behavior in some places? (wtop.com, via Fark)

2007_08_01_booble.jpgCongrats to the hard-working Lisa Sparxxx, who after some hot and heavy voting action over the last few weeks has just been crowned the 2007 Booble Gal of the Year. We all knew she had it in her! (That one never gets old.) (booble.com, via Xfanz)

An Ode To Thailand’s Sexual Past (And Present)

2007_08_01_thaichix.jpgMost residents of the beautiful country of Thailand probably aren’t thrilled by notion that their country has become synonymous with wild, barely legal sexual licentiousness. Then again, it’s not like we pulled their name out of a hat and declared it to be the new Sodom; in fact, according to this article from their own English language newspaper The Nation, Thailand’s reputation for sexy women with loose morals dates back over three centuries.

No finer an expert than Christoph Carl Fernberger von Egenberg (you remember him) declared that the women of the region were “excessively lewd” all the way back in the 1600s. Ever since then, horny sailors and soldiers have never lacked for a friendly brothel while in port—even the pandas know how to have fun. Of course, the porn industry has never had trouble playing up this slatternly attitude either, so here’s our little mini-tribute to the not-so-mysterious allure of this great nation. Just don’t call us for bail money when your next vacation hits a little “snag.”

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Thai Models/Pornstars:

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· Lily Koh (lilykoh.org)

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· Lily Thai (nsgalleries.com)

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· Luci Thai (video gallery @ porn-sky.com)
· Rosy Rocket (rosyrocket.com)

Thai-Themed Websites:

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· Fuck My Thai Pussy (fuckmythaipussy.com)

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· ONLY THAI TEENS ( onlythaiteens.com)

· Thailand TravelSexGuide (travelsexguide.tv)

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· “History’s wanton women” (nationmultimedia.com, via asiansexgazette.com)
· Thai Porn is not what you think it means (conanstevens.com)
Thumbnail via Club Thaichix (paysite preview @ thaichix.com)

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Previously: Popshots of the Week: Tokyo And Bangkok Edition, See Lai, Meet Sai-Tai Tiger

2007_08_01_amya.jpgIt seems like just yesterday (or, er, two days ago) that we were posting something about Big Brother UK contestant Amy Alexandra’s topless appearance in a lad magazine, and now she’s already graduated to half-assed lesbianesque photoshoots with other girls. Such dedicated progress like that brings a lump to our throat every damn time. (drunkenstepfather.com)

2007_08_01_belucci.jpgWe’re pretty sure this particular movie didn’t make it to that list of sex scenes we posted about earlier—but then, any list of the greatest sex scenes in film that doesn’t include anything with the divine Monica Bellucci may not be worth taking seriously in the first place. (Just ignore the fact that she’s making love to an underage boy, OK? It’s supposed to be an art film, fer crissakes.) (metacafe.com – thanks Steve)