Because making lists is the kind of thing bloggers love to do, About.com’s resident dirty thinker Corey Silverberg recently threw together his nominations for the “Sex Toys That Changed The World.” We aren’t really interested in arguing over list—worthy choices all—but we do have some of our own opinions on the subject. We’re also not claiming that a sexual aid could actually change the world (although the Fleshlight may have had something to do with the cease-fire in Ireland), but they have definitely rocked their fair share and probably moved a few worlds to boot. After the jump, our previous thoughts on some of Corey’s choices, as well as some our own favorite candidates from the annals of rubbery phthalate-y history.

· Sex Toys that Changed the World (about.com)

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Classic Favorites:
· The Cone
· Fleshlights
· Hardcore Magic Wand
· Rabbit Rider

The New Breed:
· Talking Head Vibrators: Now In Rabbit Form!
· I Rub My Duckie
· Stealth Vibrators
· Pleasure Pearl Masturbator
· The Tongue Tingler
· Squirting Strap-On Dildo
· Crystal Stroker with Love Bullet
· The Sphere by Myla
· OhMiBod’s BodiTalk: Reach Out And Fuck Someone
· The NUE: Masturbating Your Way To A Better Tomorrow

Other Historical Artifcats:
· Prague Sex Machines Museum
· “Rabbit Fever”
· Our complete Marital Aid Test Kitchen archive

And of course, the granddaddy of them all and the origin of our elusive purple friend, The King Kong Dildo. He’s definitely changed our world for the better.

Is there really anything better one can do with a prosthetic paper-maché cavern of simulated ladyness than to strap it on and make performance art with it? We don’t think so—and neither does performer, artist, and erotic provocateur Patrick Bucklew, the one-legged muse for fiction writer Jonathan Ames. Citing his own genital-related psychoses and his urge to expose his balls at Dunkin’ Donuts, over the last few years Bucklew has created codpieces with outsized, colorful, and somewhat spooky looking vaginas molded and painted into them … and then he gets naked (save for the mangina codpiece) with assorted similarly-festooned friends and shows up at various parties, galleries, performance venues, and events in New York City and beyond.. That’s art at its finest as far as we’re concerned. -AR

· The Mangina (mangina.com; see also LiveJournal)

Previously: Zumanity’s Vadge Pasty, How To: See Your Vagina … From The Inside!, Pussy Power: The Remix, When Dildos Attack!, “Without Your Vagina, There’s No You!”

Who says that fetish always has to involve things like blonde coeds blown up to giant blueberry-like proportions? Let’s not forget that the classic definition of sexual fetishism involves “sexual arousal and satisfaction through an inanimate object”—and for the true aficionado of such man- (or woman-) made objects like bras, panties, high heels, and mesh bodysuits, what’s encased by these finely wrought underthingies is less important than the finely wrought underthingies themselves. Flickr user VonMurr captures the essence of this particular brand of fetish in his “Minimal Fetish” photoset, which features various sartorial objects of devotion captured in tight closeups and brilliantly colored UV hues … and also manages to use just enough abstraction to avoid the Flickr censorship police. If you’re frustrated by the fact that it’s getting harder and harder to find naked boobies on Flickr to fap over these days, maybe it’s time you started readjusting your focus a little?

· MINIMAL FETISH UV (flickr.com/photos/vonmurr – thanks B.)

Previously: Porn of the Moment: “Pantyhose Whores”, Jai Lennard: Strange Love, Quips And Chains: Fun With Fetish, Kinky Gerlinky: Celebs In Fetishwear, Shot With Desire

Like many seemingly esoteric fetishes, those of body inflation and erotic expansion become somewhat less bizarre the more you take the time to think about them: after all, who hasn’t looked at a pair of big, soft, gorgeous breasts at some point and fantasized about being completely enveloped and smothered in their delightful globeiness? (Yes, we’re aware that “globeiness” isn’t a real word. But you know what we mean.) However, that goes only part of the way in explaining our fascination with this curious body inflation-cum-lesbian big tit adventure comic, in which a foxy blonde coed gulps down a strange wrapped confection she finds in her purse and turns into … well, if you’ve seen “Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory”, you pretty much know how things turn out. Who knew that Violet Beauregard would grow up to be such a babe?

· The Body Inflation Page: “The Bizarre Adventures Of Berrygirl” (humanballooncd2005.tripod.com, via Queerty)

Previously: Expandemonium, Giant Japanese Boob Dolls, Mastasia: (Very) Big Boob Fantasies, The Megamamma Mmmonastery, Breast Expansion Archive

While we commend Diaz Arri and/or the staff at Barcelona’s Agencia SIC for reminding us that glamour nude photography is about more things than just pert pairs of breasts or juicy asses stuffed into frilly lace panties—like proper oral hygiene—we needs must take issue with the fact that the exotic-looking model shown brushing her teeth in several photographs in the “Narrow Nudes” section (whatever that means) is doing so while kneeling at a bidet: all that crouching on a hard tile floor in front of a porcelain device ordinarily reserved for washing other parts can be murder on the knees. (Unless, of course, you remember to put on a pair of knee pads first, but then that brings up a whole other set of issue … like why you’d just happen to have a pair of knee pads in your bathroom to begin with.)

· Diaz Arri/Agencia SIC (diazarri.com, via erotismografico.com)

Previously: Photography By Steven Lyon, Intensity Studios: Sparkly Nudes By Antonio Carrasco, West Coast Hotness By Looknsee Photography, Kinky Erotica from Indepth Photography, Photos by Nekosai: Porno Chic, Jrotica: Photos by Eriq Johnston, Photos by Guy Le Baube

Listen, we know that the iPhone won’t be out until the 29th, and we further know that it is not any different to put porn on your iPhone than it is to put it on your iPod. But the important thing is that Digital Playground told us first that they would have content for the iPhone and it’s not like they said they were releasing movies on Blu-Ray or that they were entering the celebrity sex tape business.

Plus, we have documentary evidence of both Shay J. and Jesse using Macs, so we’re inclined to Think Different(ly). - GP

· iPod Porn from Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Dwnload Mobile Porn from Adult DVD Empire (adultdvdempire.com)
· Buy “Jesse’s Juice” (gamelink.com)
· iPhone (apple.com)

· Believe it or not, we don’t have any photos of a famous celebrity on a beach in a bikini today. (Did they close the ocean or something?) So here’s Vida Guerra in her underwear instead. We hope you can forgive us. (dailypoa.com)

· A man in England was arrested for having sex with a bike. Don’t ask us … we don’t know how that would work either. (sundaymail.co.uk)

· Good news for those of you about to be sent to prison in Sweden—you can still get porn while you’re in there. We’ll send you some cookies, too. (thelocal.se)

· Art helps explains why “naked” and “nude” are not the same thing. They both involve tits though, right? (telegraph.co.uk)

· It’s ok to use condoms for disease prevention, but don’t tell anyone that they also prevent pregnancy. Because that’s the kind of thing you should figure out through trial and error. (nytimes.com, via shakewellbeforeuse.com)

· Britain wants to adopt a ratings system for the internet, since the one they have for movies works so well. We’ll hold open the exit door for you. (contractoruk.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

There’s was a time when getting a glimpse of Britney Spears without her shirt on would have been a life-changing event. Back before the marriage (and the divorce) and the kids and the rehab and the general loss of her grip on reality, the sight of even one of her bare breasts would have sent paroxysms of joy and wonder through the heart of pop-watchers everywhere. These days, a boob slip gets buried on the back page thanks to the continuing saga of her good friend Paris Hilton and we’re left with nothing to do but shake our heads. (We’re still looking, of course, but we are shaking our heads as we do it.) She knows that pretty much everything she does is captured on film by paparazzi, right? And she knows that clothing store changing rooms come with curtains for a reason, correct? And she still owns at least one bra, doesn’t she? Ok, so it’s not exactly a Playboy spread, but since we’ve already seen the entire package at this point, she probably should have just gone ahead and posed for a fully-nude layout, and at least gotten paid for it. Think of all the underwear that would buy!

· “Britney Spears is Naked. Don’t Look.” (egotastic.com + taxidrivermovie.com)

Previously: Breaking: Britney Spears Not Even Trying Anymore, Britney Spears: Off The Deep End?, Britney Spears Upskirt Photos: No, Really

· It’s a few months old (at least), but we couldn’t resist sharing this photo reposted from BME on a blog called Horrible Tattoos—which apparently is the place for anyone who has a problem with two penises coming out of someone’s ass. And butterflies. Why do you hate butterflies? (horribletattoos.blogspot.com)

· Hey, we’re big fans of public sex, but maybe a public pool is not the best choice of venue for it. Although “I was just showing off my new breast implants” is a pretty good alibi. (wesh.com)

· A golf course, on the other hand, is perfect for strippers, lap dances, and sex acts. That would certainly help the TV ratings for most PGA events. (with video! @ poconorecord.com)

· Life is sweet at Florida’s only (legal) clothing-optional beach. Maybe not as fun as the golf course or the pool, but still sweet. (beaconnewspaper.com)

· Yeah … why should public nudity be illegal? Look at all the fun we’re having with it. (americanchronicle.com)

· The first two people to be charged under the CAN-SPAM act are found guilty of sending unsolicited porn emails. The good news is they can quit their job and earn thousands a week working from prison! (infoworld.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

This movie features my personal Power Station, Cream, and Damn Yankees of porn: a tasty cast in a series of scenes that progress literally from dark to light (or at least from brunettes to blondes) as well as back in time, to when porn was more often fun and less-often so goddamn serious.

Read our review of Naughty America’s “Naughty Flipside 1″ after the gap. - GP

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Naughty Flipside 1

Studio: Naughty America

Director: Brett Brando

Cast: Sasha Grey, Satine Phoenix, Pinky Lee, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Lorelei Lee, Tommy Pistol

Review by: - GP

Director Brett Brando put together a sequence of vignettes with setups that are just a little more complex than other gonzo movies, each playing to the strengths and whimsies of the people performing them. I can’t think of a recent movie that was better cast with people I like, or that seemed to target my personal tastes as well.

Further, the progression of scenes was particularly thoughtful, as we will see.

Sasha Grey is a mopey teen. She wakes up in her makeup in a squalid Hollywood apartment. Her dialogue sounds like a bad MySpace page. “Sunset Strip?” she grouses. “More like Sunset Drip.”

At this point I was ready to fast forward, because there was nothing to suggest this wasn’t another of the breed of self-important Sylvia Plath porn scenes that was only funny unintentionally.

But then a biker enters in a cloud of dry ice and fucks her “hungry pussy”.

The sex itself was just what we would expect from the precociously dirty Sasha Grey, who knows the lingo and delivers it poutily, as is the current fashion. But the scene is just slightly wacky, and it is that intent that makes it fun to watch.

The first scene is also the darkest of the movie.

Next comes Satine Phoenix as a restaurant manager who is having trouble with the help. Before she can fire her insubordinate employee, however, he tells her that what she really needs is to be fucked.

Even though we know this to be universally true, from diners to the Vatican to the International Space Station, it still seems a little uncomfortable to hear it, like a hoary porn trope that is part of the shorthand but still off-putting and past its welcome. That changes when Phoenix pulls her handyman over the bar and takes control of the scene.

The third scene is the most surreal and, when I take advantage of my Constitutional right to create an adult awards show, I will nominate Pinky Lee as Best Actress for her portrayal of a showgirl who fucks someone else’s fan. The scene is silly and bittersweet, and Lee actually tap dances.

Then Dana DeArmond intercepts the man who has been surreptitiously leaving mash notes at her door.

“I know you!” she says sweetly. “You’re my boyfriend!” Indeed it is her boyfriend Daniel, and their chemistry is apparent. Both act like they feel lucky.

Finally, Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee, two punky blondes who can get up to some real graphic nastiness in other movies, are seen here braiding each other’s hair in a superbly kitschy pink bedroom when both realize they are dating the same guy.

They spring a trap for Tommy Pistol, who plays a Brooklyn doofus.

It’s not as if this movie was directed to the hilt, or stage managed to the nth degree. It is instead often wonderfully sloppy and improvisational, and the players seem to be having a great time. This in turn makes me happy, because I like it when people enjoy their jobs. Because so much porn can seem negative, or not the zesty enterprise I think it should be, I realize that I am exactly the target audience for this sort of fun, bubbly movie.

“You cad,” Lorelei Lee ad libs.

“Did you call me a cow?” asks Pistol, and Lee laughs out of character.

The three end in a menage a trois-cum-pillow fight, free of “Come fuck my hungry pussy” and super-serious lines of that ilk. The movie makes you wonder what the sixth scene might have been had there been time for one. Naughty Flipside is the feel-good movie of the summer!

(Also, if the guy from Prospero’s Books had been in it, it would be the Gielgud movie of the summer.)

· Naughty Flipside (naughtyflipside.com)

· Buy “Naughty Flipside 1″ (gamelink.com)

Previously: DVD Review Archive

Are there any amateurs out there who are still truly amateurs? The last time we thought we caught a couple that was just videotaping themselves for fun, it turned out that they might have been on the take. We remember when it used to just be about the sex. And the exhibitionism. And the voyeurs getting off on it. But it definitely wasn’t about the money! We hope this couple has shared these clips for all the right reasons, and not some tawdry financial gain. The world doesn’t need more you-know-whos.

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Click to view

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Click to view

· Homemade Movie Part 1 + Part 2 (Shufuni)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Of all the freaky places to hang out in New York City, perhaps no place attracts more freaks (and lets you shoot paintball guns at them) then Coney Island. Home to all manner of assorted weirdness, one of the grand traditions of the neighborhood is the annual Mermaid Parade, where wild boys and (mostly) girls put on their best homemade costumes and bodypaint and strut around like they own the place (which they basically do.) Also, there’s boobs … thousands and thousands of boobs. Painted, be-tasseled, jiggly and free … you’ll never find a better place to march down the boulevard without your shirt on. Or ogle absentmindedly without having the cops called on you. Voyeur-in-training Alex Goldberg investigates.

· Related: 25 Years Of Mermaids On Parade (photo gallery @ Gawker)

· Photos tagged with “mermaidparade” (Flickr)

Previously: Folsom Street East Redux: What The Camera Saw, Bring On The Babes Of Summer

Ah, the thrill of the open road, the wind in your hair, the low rumble of the engine under your seat, the stickshift in your hand … or somewhere else. Today’s collection of some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene this week celebrates two of America’s great freedoms: our inalienable right to drive cars and to masturbate. (Sometimes at the same time!) Go along for the ride as these writers detail auto erotic exploits from the simple joys of a PB&J sandwich for lunch with a blow job on the side to a Craigslist car encounter. Fuck rising gas prices; let’s park!

Jump in and ride shotgun with Chelsea Girl after the jump.

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Sex Blog Roundup
by Chelsea Girl

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Nooner, Part 2

I slid down between his legs and the back of the passenger seat and began to suck him off, enjoying every moment of it. Out of the blue, all of a sudden, a car parked right next to us and I heard the car door slam. I looked up with his cock still in my mouth. “It’s ok, kitten, he doesn’t even know we’re in the car” and I continued with what I was doing, hoping that the stranger in the car next to us would peek into the darkened windows on his way by. Whether he did or not, I don’t know, because I put all my energy into putting on a show for him whether or not he saw it. “Catalina, Stop.”

- Catalina Loves Her Collar

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My Slave Husband’s Collaring

I then unbound him, removed the gag and he whimpered “i hate that.” I know he does. he really dislikes pain, but he endures it because he knows how much pleasure it brings Me. This is one of the many things that makes him so special… one of the many reasons I love him so much.

I walked with him into the bedroom where I had him kneel at the foot of My bed and worship My feet, I then placed both feet upon his face and has him sniff, and lick and kiss My soles.

I then slid one foot down his body and slipped My toes around his cock and masturbated him until he came, moaning, his body jerking and his cum gushing all over My feet.

- Into the Dark

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Lips

His hand slipped upwards, between my breasts until I felt it on my neck. His touch, light yet strong as his fingers strummed over the sensitive skin of my neck, his mouth still tasting my neck. My hands reached behind me, grasping to feel him, to feel his cock. He sensed my eagerness to touch and tease him. I felt him pulsing beneath the denim. He bent slightly forward, whispered into my ear, “Get in the Jeep.”

- Coquetterie

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Facials, Group Nudity and What It’s Like Having a Bisexual Wife

Yesterday, I shot a beautifully large load on Lauren’s tongue and face. I don’t always shoot really big loads, but when I do it’s worth writing about on this blog. What made this load unique was that it happened when she was sucking my cock in the shower. We shower together at least once a week but usually when we shower we’ll go only as far as foreplay and then continue the action in the bedroom. Not so this time. After we kissed, masturbated and just basically groped the hell out of each other, Lauren dropped to her knees, sucked me off for about 5-7 minutes and then stuck out her tongue and tilted her head back for the facial. I delivered in a big way.

- All About My Hot, Sexy Wife

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A Stranger, A Car

We stopped the car.
We’d just met an hour before. I’d posted an ad on Craig’s list: my boyfriend is out of town, and I need to someone to give me a good, hard fuck. No strings attached, as they say. Dozens of men had responded, and I had a good time exchanging dirty emails and pictures with them. There was the teacher at an exclusive private high school. The businessman in town for the weekend. The lonely low-level administrator at a giant corporation. And then there was this man, who’d sent me pictures of himself lolling on a beach in Europe, and also fucking a bony little woman with a shaved pussy. I wondered who she was, but if he was up for some fun, so was I.

- Sex and the Academic

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Last Night in the Sauna

Standing there in the grope room, one of his hands gripping my cock and the other my hair, I sensed a stillness around us. The watchers by the door had paused in their wanking, waiting to see what was about to happen. The one on the floor who had been playing with my arse and cock was looking up expectantly. The man in front of me looked down at his spit sliding over my nipple and smiled. He spat again, this time at my face and I felt it hit m upper lip.

“Lick it off, cunt,” he ordered, giving my cock a hard squeeze for emphasis.

- Hot, Hard Cock

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See also: Sugasm #85: The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them (sugasm.com)

Thumbnail via adult-media.net (TGP/preview gallery via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Video Playpen: Riding In Cars With Boys (And Humping Them), Sex Blog Roundup Archive