We have a lot of odd requests that come through our tips line each week, but rarely—ok, never—do we get solicited to partake in someone’s erotic fantasy. Nor do we get asked to help someone fulfill their erotic fantasy with others, or have someone offer to fulfill ours … or to help find someone a job as fetish slave. Actually, we’re not sure what’s being asked of us in this email, but it’s very specific and quite demanding. (If only we had a good picture to send as a reply.) Perhaps the rest of you can figure out if he wants to pay or be paid for the right to possibly be eaten alive by sexy women and/or maybe make a Hollywood movie out of it? This could be our ticket out of here, if only we weren’t so afraid of where it might to take us.
Dear Events Coordinator:
If you are in the Los Angeles Area, it is terrific to satisfy any desire a woman may posess. I am contacting you to see if you are receptive to the suggestion for me to serve as the slave for her enjoyment in a video. But, you must attach a picture. I will not pay for these interests, but in exchange for a modeling fee, perform for free. Thank you and I look forward to a favorable reply.
My interests are -
5. Flexible -
Try an idea so every stone is left unturned.
6. Body Worship -
7. Toilet Slave -
A. Brown Shower.
B. Gold Shower.
C. Invisible Shower.
8. Video -
I have acted out the story with 25 dominatrixes. They all say that this
is the most unique roleplaying they have ever conducted. The theme may
either be for fantasy or reality. I am shipwrecked on a deserted island
that is inhabited by female cannibals. After discovering the village when I
am looking for water, I am captured by the 100+ amazon warriors since
I have trespassed. The High Priestess Birthday is in several days; to
honor her a feast had been planned. But, when the famine left the island
with little livestock, the plan was going to be canceled, until I arrived. I
am prepared as the Dinner Guest Of Honor. The main course being
served is the Hawaiian Longpig-me! The script will be mailed to you or
it will be printed and brought with me. It may be videotaped and sold
on the Internet. There are many websites dealing with cannibalism.
There are messageboards with men that will pay any price for your video.
Characteristics are blond hair, blue eyes, no children, no drugs, non-drinker, non-smoker, single, 100% healthy, 185 pounds, and 5’10″. I look like Brett Favre, the quarterback, of the Green Bay Packers. Whenever I do anything academic, athletic, and social, I give 100% effort so I will be a “blue-chip” investment for your corporation.
There was actually a picture attached, which we sadly can’t show you, because believe it or not, he does look a bit like a less-scruffy Brett Favre. So just imagine the MVP quarterback stretched out a spit about to be served to a group of ravenous female cannibals, because that’s how we plan to spend our weekend.
Previously: Reader Email Of The Week: Momma’s Boy