It’s deja vu all over again as Jessica Alba tops FHM’s annual list of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World, beating last year’s winner Scarlett Johanssen (who comes in at #3, bestill our hearts) and recouping the mediocre showing she made in FHM’s list two and three years ago, where she came in at a paltry #13 and #57 respectively. While this is Jessica’s first time in the Number One spot at FHM (and deservedly so), we seem to remember seeing her make the top of similar lists a few years ago, which leads us to believe that FHM’s online babe watching community is a lot more conservative than we thought when it comes to finding new objects of adoration to vote for. They may also be a lot less discerning too, seeing how Jennifer Aniston beat both Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick and that Keeley Hazell didn’t even make the top fifty. Guess there’s no accounting for other peoples’ taste—since our own, you know, is totally beyond reproach.

· FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2007 (fhmonline.com)
· See also: FHM 100 Hot Girls 2004 – 2005 – 2006 – 2007 (archive @ torontopics.com)

Previously: FHM’s All-Girl Kama Sutra, Top 50 Sexiest Bums (Or Are They?), Britain’s Best Boobs: Move Over, Keeley!, Zoo’s 100 Hottest Topless Pics of 2006, Meet Diana Chaifair: Miss FHM 2006, Maxim UK’s Girls of 2007

Those of you who can’t even be bothered to press 2 when calling customer service hotlines might have been a little flummoxed by those bi-lingual G-spot instructions we pointed you to earlier this week. But don’t fret—we assure you that the location is real, and there are plenty of other folks out there determined to help you find it. Take the ladies of Liquid Love, an instructional DVD that’s sort of like a cross between Red Shoe Diaries, “Squirtwoman 2″, and an episode of Unsolved Mysteries, only with much cooler “re-enactments.” Judging by the (surprisingly graphic) trailers, these women are very in touch with their bodies and have used their knowledge to unlock the secrets of Dr. Gr

fenberg’s wet and wild wonderland—specifically female ejaculation and lots of it. The soothing new age music and polite voices are reason enough to watch, but it should be even more valuable to all the doubters out there who are still convinced that squirting is some elaborate magic trick. David Copperfield ain’t got nothing on these chicks.

· Liquid Love: The G-Spot Explosion (glamourtelevision.com, via Indie Nudes)

Previously: How To: Find The G-Spot (In Spanish!), Jada Fire Really Is Squirtwoman, Flesh Flicks: Squirt Power, Porn Valley Dispatch: Again With The Squirting, DVD Review: "Squirt Hunter 3", Fleshbot Poll: To Squirt or Not To Squirt?, Susie Bright’s G-Spot Fraud Detection Squad, DVD Review: "Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation", The Squirting Dialogues

The art connoisseurs at Radar get a juicy sneak peek at Taschen’s latest coffee table extravaganza, “The New Erotic Photography”, in which co-curators Dian Hanson and Eric Kroll (himself no slouch when it comes to producing sexy nudes of his own) collect the best work of 82 photographers from around the world and remind us once again that “you can’t spall TASCHEN without T & A!” (Their words, not ours.) Clocking it at over 600 pages, the book looks to be a welcome addition to the Fleshbot Central library of fine art babery and we’re fairly frothing at the mouth in anticipation of our very own copy—because if there’s one thing we like more than looking at boobs on our computer screen all day long, it’s looking at boobs while we lounge in our leather recliner while sipping an extra dry Tanqueray martini with our hounds at our feet as a fire crackles gently in the hearth beside us. (Or sitting on the sofa in our underwear sucking down the dregs of a warm PBR, as the case may be. Still, we don’t want you to give you the impression that we sit here in our underwear looking at boobs on the computer all the time.)

· “Naughty Bits: XXX-cerpts from Taschen’s The New Erotic Photography” (radaronline.com)
· “The New Erotic Photography” (taschen.com)
· Thumbnail by Mike James, “Bad Girl”
· Order: “The New Erotic Photography” (Amazon)

Previously: Taschen’s “Big Book Of Breasts”, David LaChapelle: “Heaven To Hell”, Peter Beard’s Ass Menagerie, Taschen’s “Erotic Cinema” Preview

· Which sign of the apocalypse involves Pamela Anderson returning to star in the Baywatch movie? Because the end times are clearly here. (hollywoodtuna.com + egotastic.com)

· You’d think a marketing convention would have the best booth babes of all, since those guys really know how to sell things. Oh, it’s online marketing? We guess that’s okay, too. (adrants.com)

· A single-celled parasite has been found to cause an increased libido in women, but how the heck are you supposed to get her infected with it before your big date? (esquire.com)

· Joe Francis is charged with sexual battery in a Hollywood case that is completely unrelated to his other legal troubles. Now they’re just piling on. (hollywood.com)

· Naked robots are part of our future. Or maybe our past, when robots were still made out of felt. (mimikirchner.com)

· Oh, that whole Virginia Tech thing? It’s porn’s fault, obviously. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· The greatest special effect in the new SpiderMan 3 movie? Kirsten Dunst’s massive boobs. That’s not your Spidey Sense you feel tingling. (thesun.co.uk)

· The idea of a Tyra Banks-on-Rosie O’Donnell pileup may not turn you on, but it’s a video of one girl squeezing another girl’s boobs so we’re contractually obligated to provide you with a link. (TMZ.com)

· Breaking! A nude art model actually enjoys her job and is not depressed, amoral, or addicted to drugs. You can’t make this stuff up people! (nebraska.statepaper.com)

· Finally, a detailed explanation of "booty pop," otherwise known as the kind of dancing that will get you kicked out of your high school prom. Print it out and mail it to your parents. (wvgazette.com)

Femdom enthusiasts will be interested in the planned opening of a Chinese “women’s town” which will punish disobedient male visitors by having them kneel on an uneven board or wash dishes in a restaurant. No telling what they’ll do for leaving the toilet seat up in the bathroom.

· A man in Oregon caused an entire building to be locked down because he was wandering the halls wearing nothing but a pair of high heels. Even worse, they were totally last season. (sfgate.com)

· If you’re still having trouble finding that G-spot after all the instructional material we’ve presented you with this week, these tips may be your last hope. Don’t give up the quest, people! (complex.com)

· And if you’re also having trouble behaving yourself at strip club, this etiquette primer might come in handy—though if you still need to be reminded of that whole hands-off policy, you really don’t need to be going to strip clubs to begin with. (doubleviking.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

This box set of four movies is a hit or miss collection that nevertheless captures Asia Carrera and her generation of porn talent in the crazy late 90′s when, coincidentally, Toyota’s RAV 4 was first becoming popular.

Carrera shares the long-leggedy exotic look of current stars Tera Patrick and Sophia Santi, but Carrera was a little softer, too, and in several of the movies in this collection she shows off some formidable (considering the competition) acting chops.

Read our review of “Asia Carrera 4 on 1″ after the gap. - GP

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Asia Carrera 4 on 1

Studio: VCA

Director: Bud Lee, Henry Pachard, Justin Sterling, Nic Cramer, Wesley Emerson, others

Cast: Asia Carrera, Joel Lawrence, Steve Hatcher, Jonathan Morgan, Gwen Summers, Bridgette Kerkove, Alexandra Silk, Christi Lake, Crystal Gold, Brian Surewood, others

Review by Gram Ponante<

The first movie, “Hollywood Hookers”, is really a Christi Lake movie with an Asia Carrera scene in it. That’s OK, because we get to see the sassy Crystal Gold and Lake tooling around in a DeLorean and Brian Surewood before he became a pirate. Carrera’s scene amongst the desert rocks is very tasty, but the collection doesn’t kick into high gear until …

… the second movie, “Betrayal”. This film, directed by Bud Lee and shot this week exactly ten years ago, is reason enough why Lee, once Carrera’s husband, is considered one of the great porn directors. Filmed from a smart and efficient script by Dow Jones and George “Fozzi” Kaplan, “Betrayed” stars Carrera as a woman whose husband won’t pay attention to her until she fakes breast cancer.

While it is strange to see what was to become a masturbation scene begin with a breast lump exam, the movie features believable performances from Joel Lawrence (now the owner of Goldstar Modeling, an adult talent agency, and Steve Hatcher, who in this movie looks like Nick Drake, had he lived.

The dialogue is thoughtful (“Maybe I should be sick all the time,” Carrera says as she takes advantage of her sickness to lay her girlfriends, the carpenter, and Hatcher’s best buddy, played by current Wicked director Jonathan Morgan), and the only thing that took away from an otherwise exemplary porn feature experience was the lite classics soundtrack.

Though possessing a less-tight script than “Betrayal”, the final movie of the set, “Asia Is in Too Deep”, written and directed by Wesley Emerson, features the best performances and the most eye candy. The only movie of the four with a moral (Be careful what you wish for), “Deep” tackles the issue of husbands wanting to see their wives with other women and what happens when the wives like the other women better.

Featuring juicy performances by Gwen Summers, Allysin Chanes, Bridgette Kerkove, and Ava Vincent, as well as solid acting from Herschel Savage, this movie pushes Asia off to the side a little. By this point in her career, she had developed a strange Gillian Anderson method of elocution that involved a lot of teeth.

Still, though, it was a pleasure watching these features, and there is no doubt why the beautiful Carrera was a star, eclipsing the fame of the Hollywood celeb (Tia) she took her porn name from. Top that, Britney Rears; Carrera is one of the stars in the porn firmament.

Though I enjoyed “Hollywood Hookers”, the real gems in this collection are “Betrayal” and “Asia Is in Too Deep”. But Carrera is the type of person you could watch fold laundry and it would still be worthwhile.

· Asia Carrera (asiacarrera.com)

· Hustler (hustler.com)

· Buy “Asia Carrera 4 on 1″ (gamelink.com)

After all that creamy messiness earlier, we thought you might enjoy some porn that doesn’t involve any sperm or penis or any men at all for that matter … just a couple of girls whiling away a few moments with their toys, with no one having anything spilled on or inside them. Well, there are still a few things going inside, but as far as we can tell none of them are liquid at room temperature.

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· lesbian loveeee by sapphicerotica (Shufuni)
· Sapphic Erotica (paysite preview @ sapphicerotica.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Even as Fleshbot’s Porn Valley Bureau has temporarily relocated to the fragrant banks of the Neponset River this week, we revel in our pre-trip visits to several titillating locales, including that of nascent sexy violence-flavored production company SlutWerkz, where we found Princess Donna about to do something to the game Lorelei Lee. Join us after the gap for a catfight in a limo, a pre-piercing inspection, and a guy who loves his job. - GP

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SlutWerkz is Kylie Ireland’s new label. Here she checks out the delightful Lorelei Lee before Princess Donna went to work on her with some acupuncture needles. “Submitted for Your Approval” will be the company’s first movie.

While a Playboy Mansion benefit for Nicki Hunter was beset with difficulties, at least we had fun in the limo. From left: Jada Fire, Bettie Rage, a bit of Shannon Kelly, just-less-than-what-we-want-from Cossette Angel, Amber Peach, and (ditto Cossette Angel) Veronica Rayne.

Finally, here’s performer Byron Long doing what comes naturally to Lorena Sanchez on the set of Chatsworth Pictures‘ “Cuckolds 2″. Your humble narrator plays one of the “cucks”, so prepare for an inventory-clearing run on this movie when it comes out this summer.

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Previously: Popshots Archive

The titty-filled archives only go back to January of this year, but it’s almost inconceivable that just four months ago you could have bought the URL for tittyblog.com and set up a website with such an obviously lucrative name—because really, who hasn’t trawled Google for titties and/or blogs at some point? Perhaps the titty-loving owners have had the domain for years and were simply waiting for the right cultural moment to unleash all those titties upon the world—big titties, small titties, fake titties, real titties, black and white titties, cartoon titties, painted titties … all titties are fair game for the Titty Blog! In this crazy world we live in, few things soothe the soul quite like a nice pair of titties, so why not revel in that fact by admiring the titties they have to offer? Plus, it’s an excellent opportunity to read the word "titties" about 100 more times today. Go on, you deserve it.

· Titty Blog (tittyblog.com)

Previously: The Cleavage Blog, Spring Has Sprung!, Titty Time at 1TrackMind (Not), MyTits15, TittyWar!

We didn’t realize there was any confusion on the matter, but if a money shot is delivered on a female performer’s face, hair, boobs, stomach, back, or basically anywhere else that is not inside her, that is by definition the exact opposite of what a creampie is supposed to be. (No, the mouth doesn’t count either.) Still, during our “research” for this post we ran into a surprising number of clips that were mislabeled in this way. But we still managed to salvage a workable collection to share with you here. (We’re not buying the “accidental” ones, however.) Of course, this sort of thing isn’t recommended for first dates, so the usual caveats about attempting this at your own risk apply. And we’ll remind you once again that pornstars are highly trained individuals who only practice their trade in pristine and controlled conditions. What’s that? Oh … right …

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· Cum Inside Pussy – Jenna Haze Creampie (Haporn)

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· Cutie Creampie (XXX Uploads)

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· Asian Creampie (Haporn.com)

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· “this latina just can get enoght ! she drink her creampie!” (Shufuni)

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· “creampie” (Haporn)

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· Creampie 3 (PornoTube)

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· Creampie Surprise (Haporn)

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· Amber Michaels Creampie (Shufuni)

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· Arianna Jolee’s 65-Guy Creampie (Again) (Haporn)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

Ever since Flickr was acquired by Yahoo! a while back, we’ve been holding our breath in anticipation of a flood of draconian account deletions and filtering headaches a la YouTube to keep the site squeaky-clean for the boobiephobic masses. So far, the situation hasn’t been as completely dire as we would have thought; there’s still a respectable amount of sexy content on the site if you know where to look. Still, every now and then the work of one member gets taken to task for a too-generous expanse of naked flesh—which seems to be the case with UK photojournalist Gail Orenstein, who found her entire photostream-cum-news portal unceremoniously axed by the Powers That Be this week without warning or explanation. Undettered, she went straight to her archives and opened up a brand new account, which we hope sticks around for a while this time—after all, naked boobs, like information, deserve to be free. (Though given that we’re not exactly helping her stay under the radar by directing your attention to it here, maybe we shouldn’t hold our breath about that happening either.)

· Gail Orenstein on Flickr (flickr.com; see her profile page for more info about the account deletion)
· In Memorium: Gail Orenstein (Flickr tribute group)
· GO Photos World Photoblog and Gail Orenstein Blog (blogspot.com)

Previously: (More) Gail Orenstein on Flickr, Strippers of London

Our esteem’d colleague Evil Sensei at SenseiSays continues his beginner’s guide series on finding the best Japanese porn online with this tidy guide to shibari, the ancient Japanese rope bondage practice that we’ve covered in some depth before on Fleshbot, but only from the perspective of ignorant Westerners who don”t understand all those kanji. Given Evil Sensei’s browsing tips, however, we’re sure you’ll be gathering your own deliciously ropebound Lolita Complex Sperm Lesbians sightings in no time at all.

Sit back and unwind (assuming you’re not tied up yourself at the moment, that is), with Evil Sensei’s online shabiri guide after the jump.

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Evil Sensei’s Guide to Japanese Porn

Part Two: All About Shibari

by Evil Sensei

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Shibari, or more accurately kinbaku, is descended from the ancient martial art of hojojutsu. It has a fascinating history, with various styles of restraining a person being used depending on factors like their social status, the crime committed, physical size and strength and the likelihood they may attempt escape.

Shibari is thought to have been used as a sexual practise from around the late 1700′s. It is less about sadomasochism than it is about the eroticism of restraint.

Shibari.info is a nifty little site with tutorials on some of the more common tying techniques, which you’ll also find at Japanese Rope Report (though the latter has a horrid frame-based page design—the author should be tied up himself).

When I say that kinbaku isn’t about the SM, I’m not talking about the Japanese AV industry, where being tied up on its own would probably not be enough to sell massive numbers of DVDs. So it tends to go hand in hand with all sorts of other genres and fetishes, and generally amounts to highly entertaining erotic abuse of the utterly helpless. One can only assume the pay is reasonable.

AV studio Dogma has a series called “restraint chair trance” where actresses are tied up and subjected to various bodily fluids as well as being poked with different things. They also have something called an “SM laboratory” to check out if you’re into this kind of stuff. There’s a members only section which I didn’t bother checking, and as always it helps if you read Japanese, but they have some sample galleries which are quite nice.

Dogma is known for their bdsm themes and features actresses such as the cute-as-a-button Mayura Hoshitsuki, whose pastimes include being tied up over a toilet and face-fucked until she vomits repeatedly and stars in films with catchy titles such as “Lolisuparezu” (that’s “Lolita Complex Sperm Lesbians” to you, bub) and “Anal Trance DX”. If you read Japanese, you’ll definitely want to check out her blog. And don’t miss the kawaii cartoon penis orbiting a moon on her Dogma home page. Hey, being tied up and abused for a living doesn’t mean you can’t find the time to be cute too.

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Previously: How To Search For Hot Japanese Porn: Part One, Tie Me Up Tom: Behind The Knots, Of Human (Pet) Bondage, Club RopeMarks, Fetish Photos By Pierre, Rope Rookie, Twisted Monk’s How-To Rope Videos, David Lawrence: Shibari Art Photography, Art Bondage, DeLano Bound, A Kinbaku Freak

It’s obvious after just a few minutes of looking around their site that DVD/VOD warehouse GreenCine is very serious about movies—so serious that they can offer one of the better sexploitation libraries we’ve ever seen. (Naughty hentai on demand, too!) So if they decide to compile a history of sex in the movies, you know it’s going to be worth reading. It’s thoroughly researched, intelligently written, and about as comprehensive as you can get in anything longer than a blog post, but shorter than a book. Most all, it recognizes the fact that porn flicks are movies too, and you can’t talk about sex in cinema without discussing them; they even include a breakdown of the five basic plots of all erotic cinema. It may seem a bit academic to some, but how many master’s theses mention Jean Renoir and Luke Ford in nearly the same breath? That alone has to count for something.

· Sex in the Movies Guide (greencine.com, via Tiny Nibbles)
· See also: Something Weird (Exploitation/Sexploitation) + BlueCine (Adult Films) (greencine.com + bluecine.com)

Previously: A History of Sex in Film, Ed Wood’s "Glen Or Glenda?" on YouTube, 818 Movie Locations: Where The Magic Happens, A Lesson From "Professor Lust", IMDb Gets Childish With "Adult" Movies, A History Of Porn In 31 Paragraphs (Sort Of)