If you’re wondering why we hadn’t posted about the Miss USA sex, drugs, and partying "scandal," it’s mostly because we didn’t believe it. The Miss USA we know wouldn’t behave that way and we don’t like it when news organizations besmirch the good name of a woman who represents our entire country without proper photographic evidence. Like, say … these snaps of the current Miss Nevada out on the town. Katie Rees, the girl-kissing, nipple-flashing, thong-barring pageant contestant you see here, was kind enough to let spectators photograph her antics (and let at least one kindly stranger tongue her breast), which makes it a little harder for us—and Donald Trump, we assume—to look the other way. The lesson as always: Before you accuse someone of wrongdoing be sure you have proof. Oh, and when it comes to drunken debauchery Nevada is still the champ. (Bonus photos after the jump, and if you happen to see the uncensored versions, let us know.)

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· Miss USA rocked by sexy new scandal (canada.com)

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Previously: (Former) Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd in Playboy, Meet Tatana Kucharova

French pornographer John B. Root resurfaces every now and then with a gallery here or a site there with all kinds of hardcore European goodness, and now he’s got his own babelog-style blog churning out posts to make finding his nasty freedom French babes even easier. As for the name, ‘explicit’ is certainly the name of the game, and whether it’s ‘art’ or not could be up to the courts to decide. However, our jury of captive, oversexed interns has decidedly ruled in favor of hot women gleefully stuffing themselves with toys as a high art that can only be deserving of cultural recognition and critical esteem—albeit the kind of artistic-observation-cum-court-opinion that seems to leave us with an office full of RSI. No “hung jury” jokes, please. -V. Blue

· Explicite-Art Blog (explicite-art.blogspot.com)

Previously: Xandra by John B. Root, Janet @ Explicite, Dufille: Lesbian Babelog, Amateur Girls Kissing, Rookie Babe, Give Me Pink

Sex toy gifts are often thought of as playful, intimate, even caring—but as we’ve learned the hard way over the years (the Marital Aid Test Kitchen really should merit us some Gawker hazard pay), some sex toy inventions are closer in kin to medieval torture devices than tokens of lust. So this year if you decide to keep your friends close and your enemies closer (to the ER), see how they’ll like the Knapsack, a sex machine that straps to the victim’s back and penetrates with Basic Instinct icepick precision. (We’re sure that running away only angers the Knapsack.) The Ancient Dream Fucking Bicycle could only result in undreamed of road rash; the Fucking Pegasus (“love on the wings!”) would be impossible to explain to authorities; or worse, give her a Fristic, billed as “the most effective clitoral stimulator”—for girls with clits of steel, that is. -V. Blue

· Knapsack (motorfun.biz)
· Ancient Dream Fucking Bicycle (motorfun.biz)
· Fucking Pegasus (motorfun.biz)
· Fristic (video, fristic.com, thanks Cory!)

Previously: Top Ten Sex Toy Patents, Fleshbot’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide

· Lisa Gleave has a deal for you: Don’t ask her about Howie Mandel or suitcases and she’ll show you what she looks like in her underwear. Deal? We thought so. (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Renee Christian is such a good salesperson, she could sell clothes to a nudist. Seriously, she sells clothes to nudists. Her Eskimo ice cube business will open next year. (sptimes.com)

· Ruth Bernhard, a renowned photographer of female nudes, passes away at the age of 101. Why do the talented, hard working people get to lead all the interesting lives? (latimes.com)

· Chinese police put the kibosh on a wine maker’s plans for a nude fun run promotion. Boy, communists just love to spoil a good time don’t they? (reuters.co.uk)

· Giving a loved one a plastic surgery gift card sounds like a wonderful idea, but good luck trying to explain how you think they’re perfect … but they could use a little work. (baltimoresun.com)

· A new reports says that most video downloads—both legal and illegal—are porn. In other news, the sun came up this morning. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

While we found ourselves equally aroused by the pointy-nippled models flailing about in couture as we felt like we’d had ten million ice cold enemas when we accidentally clicked on Vincent Gallo in the celebrity galleries, the creativity and hotness of Saikusa’s fashion nudes instantly re-warmed the frozen bits so awfully traumatized by the Republican actor’s grizzled anaphrodisiac visage. That out of the way, click over to the Beauty gallery and ogle the supermodel boobage. -V. Blue

· Satoshi Sa

kusa (satoshisaikusa.com, via ponyXpress)

Previously: Restrained Photo, Marcio Simnch Photography, Simply Beautiful Girls, Photos by Frank de Mulder, Josie Maran: On The Farm With Terry Richardson

Listen: I don’t live in a goddamn palace, all right? I don’t have load-bearing ceilings to hang a Love Swing or enough space for one of those tripod versions. Plus, I like to carry my sexiness with me like a spirit animal.

Read our review of the Body Swing after the gap. - GP

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Like the harness that dragged President Harrison Ford to safety in “Air Force One”, the Body Swing looks a little complex. It uses one’s own weight to support that of another, and at first glance seems to be more work than is worth it.

“Secretary Rice,” I suggested, “Can’t I just have sex with you on the desk?”

But this review is important for Science, so – and remember that we’re talking about the Body Swing – I strapped it on.

People who wear this device should be conscious of where they will feel the weight. In my case it was my shoulders, which are broad and strong and wondrous to gaze upon. It is also helpful to remember that the heavier person should suport the lighter person; there is no weight displacement, there is only a jujitsu-like effect of having another person doing some of the work.

But the Body Swing is not conducive to multiple positions or, in fact, anything that seems spontaneous. What it was was fun. I can imagine Cenobites having sex this way, or perhaps firefighters. It is definitely an experience worth trying, especially with the understanding that, once it’s on, it’s best to go for the long haul.

I was given some comfort by the fact that even the guy in the ad photograph doesn’t quite know what to make of the Body Swing.

· Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Like the Ents, the porn world is falling asleep this week in anticipation of the several days’ debauch that is the AVN Expo in January. That doesn’t mean that nothing was happening, or that Hailey Young here didn’t lace up her fishnets just for us.

See more of how the porn world looked in the final weeks of 2006 after the gap. - GP

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Tightfit Productions is a newish studio that just released a very interesting-looking movie called “Assraelis“. Hedging its bets, the company threw a Christmas party featuring Lexi Bardot and this woman, whose name I didn’t get, who looks very familiar (or, as a one-winged dove might say, hauntingly familiar), and who might not even be in the adult industry.

I bumped into both Moonlite Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof and director Roy Karch at the In ‘n’ Out Burger on Sunset Blvd. at 1 a.m. the other night. Maybe there’s no snow at Christmas and public transportation sucks, but Hollywood is great for moments like this one. It also happens to be Karch’s 60th birthday today.

Newbie (“She’s only done about 30 scenes,” said director Will Ryder) Veronique Vega prowls before a group of camera phones at the Tightfit party.

Finally, the divine Ms. Nina Hartley whispers sex-positive nothings to Santa, played by Jason Sinclaire (photo courtesy Kimberly Kane).

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Previously: Popshots Archive

· We guess Miss Nevada Katie Rees outdid Miss USA Tara Conner in one other way: she got her title taken away thanks to those rather ill-advised photos we showed you. Maybe preserving the moment on film wasn’t such a great idea after all. (usatoday.com)

· A Maryland woman is in a bit of a pickle after stealing the identity of a lawyer so she could sneak into a jail for a conjugal visit with her "client." The good news is that getting into jail will no longer be a problem for her. (thesmokinggun.com)

· Gisele Bundchen poses for bikini photos so often it’s like it’s her job or something. Oh … right. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· Apparently, students have no problem with sex education programs, they just don’t want to talk about the birds and the bees with their teachers. Or their parents. Or any adult they know, really. (channelnewsasia.com)

· Who knew Diora Baird was such a fan of golf? Suddenly, we’re a lot more interested than we used to be as well. (egotastic.com)

· If you enjoyed the return of Violet Blue today, you might want to check her personal list of the 10 sexiest geeks of 2006 (which includes yet another Fleshbot staffer.) If you were still wondering whether we’re above pimping out our own crew, the answer is obviously no. (tinynibbles.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

While the title reminds us of our favorite-named Bond character Pussy Galore, other than the suggestion of pussy that’s about where the similarity ends with this babelog—though lucky for us, this particular babelog offers a bit more than your garden-variety affiliate gallery post. The accent here isn’t on wascally wabbits getting funky with carrots and rabbit holes (not that we’d complain), but rather a thoughtfully curated selection of art nude galleries, all in the context of women affectionately called “bunnies.” And even better—the girls are hot and unapologetically sexual, and nary a set of Playboy ears in sight means the galleries are graphic and sans airbrush. -VB

· Bunny Galore (bunnygalore.blogspot.com)

Previously: Lustbox, Indie Posh, News And Babes, A Fuck A Day

The handjob is often maligned as the last sexual refuge of the desperately horny, but we think it deserves more credit. Especially when we see such skilled practitioners as this young lady, doing double duty on a couple of unseen gents. A lot of folks aren’t coordinated enough to pump one dick up and down, let alone two simultaneously—and work the mouth into the equation as well. That takes real talent, people. So the next time you’re on the receiving end of a handy show some appreciation, will ya? After all, you could be stuck doing it yourself.

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· "2 cocks getting sucked and tugged by a cutie" (xTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

When Jonno gets back to Fleshbot and asks us, “what’s the poop?” all we can do is shrug and send him a link—and realize that there is really no way to justify breaking one of the Sacred Laws of Fleshbot: no kids, no dogs and no poo. But we’d like you to think of the hardcore 4D gallery like that Christmas present (possibly from the fluid and tranny obsessed minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone) that you get and can’t ever, ever return to the universe no matter how hard you scrub your retinas or pour bleach in your ears, or trepan yourself—and yet, you send the URL to all your friends. Almost like it could read “Mr. Hanky was here,” the 4D gallery has happy anime babes painting words (of love? holiday greetings?) with their colorful brown sphincter brushes, girls with dicks the size of angry red California Redwoods, and much much more, in (mostly) unpixelated, uncensored glory. -V. Blue

· Gallery 4D (www81.sakura.ne.jp, via Blography)

Previously: Scat Dolls, Kamitora Gallery, Futanari Hentai, Hentai Archives