We know you’re busy, Richardson Magazine knows you’re busy, so nobody’s trying to make you spend hours and hundreds of dollars at a strip joint. Those crazy mix-masters at Richardson found a way to give you an energetic, drippy, bouncy, pelvis-whipping dance in only two minutes. If you’ve ever read “The Windup Girl,” it’s kind of like watching Emiko do her thing at Raleigh’s: heechy-keechy.

Some people like to decorate their homes with weird paintings, Danish midcentury modern furniture, comic book knick knacks, Art Deco clock faces… the list goes on. We’ve gotta say we like what they’ve done here, though, with the whole masturbating-babe installation. That’s a really good idea!

If you’ve been paying attention to LA County politics, you may have heard mention of a little ballot initiative known as Measure B, a proposal to require condoms and other safer sex methods in adult film in LA County (as well as require the government to rigorously enforce this policy, at the taxpayers’ expense). Well, despite the best efforts of Porn Valley’s hardworking lobbyists, this measure passed last night–which, to put it bluntly, means that the hardworking men and women of the LA porn community got seriously fucked. And not in the fun way.

If National Geographic and Playboy had a baby, this would be the placenta. We mean that in the nicest way. Sabrina Jung seems to play with surreal, contrasting, and often disturbing imagery in her work, but this project plays with our loins and our primal fears. Like, are we allowed to be attracted to these?

Vice writer Henrik Saltzstein was leafing through a fishing magazine in a doctor’s waiting room in Denmark when he found “an untapped genre of amphibious soft porn.” That phrase alone is enough to make our skin crawl, but the photos actually aren’t half bad! Hot girls enjoying themselves on boats, wading deep in rivers, proudly displaying their freshly-caught aquatic phallic symbols prizes: there’s good ogling in them pictures.

Richardson’s latest video offering seems like another tribute to porn–mostly to amateur porn–but with a bit of a melancholy edge to it. Maybe it’s just the slow, mournful, yet horny jam by The Weeknd that plays throughout, or maybe it’s because we want to see more footage from the clips they include in this video, but something makes us seriously question our endless hunt for hot porn to fap to.

Everybody craves that stuff, it’s human nature, and although we don’t know much about the good people who work at Richardson, we know that they have a better grip on the appetitive parts of the mind than your pituitary gland. So, once again, they’ve forged a chaotic sword of sex and ‘splosions so they might slice through the boredom of your day. Watch and appreciate.

The legendary Wicked contract girl and Juliland’s jGrrl of June, Alektra Blue, loves putting on a show for her fans. So, with the right lighting, a camera man from Popporn, and the help of the brilliant and absurdly well-endowed Spock Buckton, Alektra is going to get her freak on, off, on, off, and so on until something big happens. What could the happening be? We assure you it’s sexy and in no way validates our tagging this WTF.

Friends! We have found the world’s most amazing porn photo. Seriously, just look at it: what on earth is going on there? We know there’s Danny Mountain, and a girl, and a bong, and then a box of cereal…but what, pray tell, is he doing with the cereal?

…and then that’s when the fun really begins. We’re not even going to begin to try to explain this delightful short film (starring the even more delightful Penny Pax, but we will say that it’s not for the faint of heart (and probably shouldn’t be watched while you’re eating).

As the phenomenal information resource known as the internet is largely used for the distribution and consumption of erotic adult material and feline photography (or, you know, porn and cat pictures), it only makes sense that someone would eventually combine the two into one amazing online project. Thankfully, it’s in the form of photos of indifferent cats who wander on camera during amateur porn…and not, ahem, some other, creepier way.

Even though we don’t like breasts to be all wrapped up and hidden from sight, we do go crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed tit. Fortunately, so does Heidi Leigh, the creator of a breast puppet blog that showcases the finest fashion in all of nippledom. Many of the body parts featured therein belong to her and her friends, and we have to say, Heidi has some sweet buppets.

How does 19 year old Miley Cyrus celebrate her boyfriend’s birthday? Why, she buys him an enormous cock-shaped cake, puts her mouth all over it, and dances the night away while drinking a carafe of something that is most certainly non-alcoholic. Because nothing says, “I love you” quite like a

We don’t much care for this Tim Tebow fellow (because, well, obviously), but we gotta admit that his signature pose does happen to be a pretty good way to show off the female form. We’re not sure how Mr. Tebow’s lord and savior would female about Samantha Saint coopting the

We hope you don’t mind the lack of sound because this is simply too weird to not post: it’s Leilani Dowding (of eternal beach nudity fame) getting rated by some strange announcer and then getting a breast exam on British daytime television in 1999. We know what you’re thinking: this

You know how most porn scenes have a section of stripping, dancing, and rubbing right before the actual sex? That’s the tease. This is what a tease would look like if Lars Von Trier directed porn. Ok, that’s a bit dramatic, this is nowhere near “Antichrist” or even “Breaking the

Have you been doing your Kegel exercises regularly? We’ve noted before that it’s sometimes difficult to fit them into your busy schedule, so maybe all you need is a little inspiration. Like this gal, for instance, whose PC muscles are so strong she can actually write calligraphy with them. Keep

Sadly, sex toy coverage is usually limited to dildos and vibrators, because there’s so many more options for things to insert then there are places to insert. It’s not really fair to the guys, but when it comes to mechanical manipulation, you’re often forced to improvise. On the bright side,

Your daily (or in our case, bimonthly) housecleaning ritual just got a whole lot more interesting with the advent of the Vortex Vibrations, a patent-pending clitoral stimulator that plugs into your vacuum cleaner and promises to bring you to the kind of “faster, better, longer orgasms” than the type you’d

Lest you think that most of the sex toys we post about around here are cute nubbin-covered thingies that whisper sweet nothings in your various orifices or outsize conversation pieces designed to collect dust on your coffee table, we should remind you that there exists a troupe of intrepid porn