23-year-old Little Caprice is a porn starlet from the Czech Republic, which is like the Arizona of Europe in terms of pornstress provenance.

· ZOMGGGG … Playboy has special content created specifically for the Magic Jesus Phone! Looks like that crazy new device might just be a hit after all! (playboy.com; more hype @ avn.com) · Speaking of … we were just thinking today that what Macau really needs is a Playboy Mansion.

· Has Dita Von Teese been turned into a robot? Now she’ll never be stopped! (dailypoa.com) · American “pornstar” Courtney Coventry is questioned in the investigation for some sort of British bribing scandal that we don’t really understand. But hey, free trip to London, right? (thesun.co.uk) · The FBI agent

· It’s a few months old (at least), but we couldn’t resist sharing this photo reposted from BME on a blog called Horrible Tattoos—which apparently is the place for anyone who has a problem with two penises coming out of someone’s ass. And butterflies. Why do you hate butterflies? (horribletattoos.blogspot.com)

· You will never find another group of spokespeople anywhere who are this excited to talk about clean bums. Plus, bare ass in Times Square! (cleanishappy.com, via adage.com via Gawker) · Superproducer Brian Grazer and sort-of-okay director Brett Ratner are bringing Hugh Hefner’s life story to the big screen. We

· Hey, Lindsay Lohan, how that’s rehab program going? Which one of the 12 steps is “ride around on a giant tricycle while wearing a bikini? (egotastic.com) · Finally, someone is rewarding Marisa Miller for her obvious talents. If you don’t think looking this hot is a talent, you must

· Megan Fox will dominate the new Transformers movie, even though her co-stars are killer robots the size of 18-wheelers. She’s got some pretty powerful weapons of her own. (maximonline.com) · MSNBC discovers phthalates, and only about 10 months after the rest of the sex toy-loving world. Yay, mainstream media!

· Babelog regular Anna Michalik is very skillful with power tools. We wonder if she could use a hand on that back porch? (dailyniner.com) · Make your reservations now for the newest Hooters franchise … in Dubai. When they say “wings hotter than the Arabian desert,” they mean it. (gulfnews.com)

· You might be shocked to learn this, but “Obama Girl” Amber Lee Ettinger once posed for Maxim magazine. That doesn’t sound like her style, does it? (maximonline.com) · Ugandan police claim that 90% of 911 emergency calls are just lonely women looking for sex. We think about 100% of

· It’s not a Mary Carey birthday party until a pornstar (aka Jessica Jaymes) pulls her tits out. Tell us again why she isn’t the governor? (drunkenstepfather.com) · If we’re reading this correctly—and we’re pretty sure that we’re not—Mitt Romney has made a fortune selling hardcore pornography to bored business

· You can’t not escape Danielle Lloyd’s watchful gaze, but really, why would you want to? (americanidol2006blog.blogspot.com) · Maxim, Stuff and Blender walk into a bar and get sold to a private equity firm, which proves that firm privates are still worth a lot of equity. (cnn.com) · Prostitution may

· When Cameron Diaz goes surfing, she goes surfing in a bikini. It’s starting again already! (egotastic.com) · Welcome to Gatwick Airport. Do you have any strippers you would like to declare? (timesonline.co.uk) · Is Flickr (ie. Yahoo) blocking content for users in Germany and Southeast Asia? Does a bear

· Iran declares that porn producers and “their main elements” are “corruptors of the world” and can now be sentenced to death. Hey, we don’t make the stuff … we were just holding on to it for a friend! (cnn.com) · At eight-and-a-half-months pregnant, Katie Price is almost as big

· Brit babe Emily Scott looks good even in Dutch German. We think that’s required by the European Union. (dailyniner.com) · Larry Flynt’s offer of $1 million for any evidence of “illicit sexual or intimate relations with a Congressperson, Senator or other prominent officeholder” has already received about 200 responses

· Wait a second … a local TV station hired a bikini model with no journalistic experience to be its new anchor, and it’s all just a reality show stunt? Could our TV be lying to us? (news-journal.com) · UFC show host-with-the-most Rachelle Leah is Sicilian, manages to maintain her

· Danielle Lloyd, bless her heart, slips into a diamond-studded bikini for charity, but ends up distracting us so much we forgot where we put our checkbooks. (drunkenstepfather.com) · Jenna Jameson wants you to design logos for her clothing lines, and you must obey Jenna. (adultfyi.com) · Remember the porn

· Gisele Bundchen thinks it’s ridiculous that the Catholic Church bans sex before marriage. “Show me someone who’s a virgin,” she says. Why? What will you do to him if we do? (newswatch50.com) · Now that Paris Hilton is out of jail, let us look at this photoset starring lookalike

· Breaking: After months of legal wrangling, Julie Amero, the substitute teacher convicted by porn pop-ups, has been granted a new trial because the prosecutors are “dumbasses.” Okay, that’s not the actual quote, but we think we captured the spirit of it. (courant.com) · Petra Nemcova proves that you can

· A federal appeals court tells the FCC to go fuck itself and rules that if the president can say any bullshit thing he wants on TV, then so can any asshole in America. Fuckin’ A right we can! (forbes.com) · Britney Spears’ ass devours its thong packaging. At least

· Pamela Anderson is kissing a magician. Maybe he knows how those things continue to defy gravity. (drunkenstepfather.com) · The bizarre life (and sad death) of the famous Academy Awards Streaker. His package will live forever. (wfmu.org) · Auctioneers expect to get £2 million for a nude portrait that King