Tis the season for giving, is it not? (Actually, we believe that every season is the season for giving, but that’s just us.) Accordingly so, Gamelink is offering fatty deals this month so you can shower your loved ones with all of the porn, massage oils, and bondage starter kits they’ve ever wanted. Mistletoe has officially been dethroned as the holiday matchmaker.

First of all, everything that’s holiday-related is discounted. While there’s a buttload of Christmas smut we had a little trouble finding Chanuka and Kwanzaa-themed porn. However, there are a whole lot of films that happen to have the word “holiday” in the title, and those have special deals, too!

Second, if you’re having trouble figuring out what to buy, Gamelink has a brilliant list of suggestions in their 2012 Holiday Gift Guide. Picture this romantic evening: you can start with giving your loved one the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy pack, casually slip some Magnetic Nipple Clamps in their stocking, get the night going with the Naughty or Nice board game, use that to segue into the Ultimate Bondage Kit you’ve cleverly hidden under the bed, click some hot couples’ porn on the tube, and then, well, hopefully you’ll be having sex by then. If that doesn’t work, or if you don’t have a special someone, the holiday gift guide also offers some great masturbation sleeves.

Third, when you buy any Fleshlight, you get a free Impulse Flexi rabbit-style vibrator. You can straight-up lock the door Christmas morning and spend hours masturbating with your spouse–and the kids won’t be able to make you get up and open presents!

Fourth, you get free domestic shipping for any order over $75. Get the Kama Sutra Massage Kit, the Glass Dildo/Leather Whip, and “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms” and you’ll be set.

Lastly, there are new deals popping up every week. Shop for your friends now, wait for some groovy sex toys to go on sale, buy them for yourself, never see your friends again. It’s just that easy, folks.

We knew there was a good reason why we waited so long to get everyone gifts, and this is definitely it.

· Check out the 2012 Holiday Gift Guide (gamelink.com)
· Browse through Gamelink’s Holiday and Christmas-themed porn (gamelink.com)

[At top: "Yo, Yo, Yo: A Very Black Christmas Tale," "A Big Tit Christmas 3," and "A Fucking Christmas Dinner" (gamelink.com)]

If it’s the fourth Thursday in November (and it is!), it must be time to count your blessings. Curious to know what ours are? Read on.

Ottimo is thankful for…

GIFs. Did you know that GIF was named Word of the Year by Oxford American Dictionary? It’s true! The word has been around since the ’80s, but it’s gained new significance in recent years. It’s not quite a video, not really an emoticon, and it’s not just a sequence of pictures looped together: it’s a mode of expression and a fucking awesome way to capture tasty morsels of porn.

Netflix. Sometimes I feel like expanding my cultural horizons, sometimes I feel like seeing boobs, but mostly I want to do both at the same time (because I’m a busy man) and that’s where Netflix comes in. Celebrity nudity at the tips of my fingers makes me feel powerful.

Richardson Magazine’s videos. The whole magazine is great and often features some of our favorite people, but I personally have grown very attached to the surreal videos that Richardson occasionally puts out. They’ve shown us the innermind of a horny teenage boy, the emotional range of Dana DeArmond, the future of 3D hentai, and they even got us acquainted with the classic incest porno, “Taboo.”

FEMEN. It’s so comforting to know that at any given moment, somewhere in Europe, a gang of badass feminist activists are getting ready to cause a stir by stripping topless and calling politicians out on their shit. They’ve had many run-ins with the law–some more harrowing than others–but they keep on doing what they do and we love them for it.

Fleshbot Fridays at Headquarters. As you already know, we’ve been hosting monthly burlesque shows at Headquarters Gentlemen’s Club and they are absolutely insane. It’s basically a massive party with pornstars, burlesque performers, strippers, nerdy bloggers, cheap booze, magic, and no cover. It’s also a nice way to get in touch with the beautiful art of burlesque, and I’m thankful that I get to be a part of it. If you’re ever in New York at the end of the month, you should come be a part of it, too!

Florabel is thankful for…

The Vanity Vr4.5. The Rolls-Royce of vibrators, the Vanity Vr4.5 by jOpen manages to succeed where many others fail: hitting the G-spot (and how!) while maintaining flexible, comfortable, and lusty contact with the clit. It’s the holy grail of self-love, and makes me happy in a way most objects simply can’t.

ONE Condoms. Not only do they look super fly, but they feel great while still being durable as hell. I had an experience where two lesser condoms snapped and generally couldn’t stand the heat — but then I brought out my ONE, like a glistening gem from the bowels of my carpetbag, and it saved the day. Thanks be.

The inimitable Wolf Hudson. It’s no secret that Wolfie is my number one stud of the year this go-round. I’m ever so thankful he fucks all the things he does, and does it with such style. He makes me smile on the inside and out.

My Ever-Loving Pocket Toyfriend. It’s a diminutive yet cutie little vibe with a heart of gold and a powerful purr. Robust enough to do plenty of dirty work on its own, yet small enough to complement any other toy — and be taken on the go! — this Toyfriend earns my appreciation, well, quite regularly.

And most importantly, I’m thankful for all you gorgeous readers out there! Thank you so much for visiting, reading, fapping, validating our perversity, and giving me the sick livelihood of which I’ve always dreamed. Thank you!!

Gram is thankful for…

A decade of employment. November, 2002 was the month I started working at AVN. As a joke. I thought, “How can this business sustain writing about it for more than six months?” And yet so many ridiculous, wonderful, disturbing, thought-provoking, significant, and even newsworthy events have kept my interest all this time. And I am thankful for Fleshbot, which has been a home away from home since 2005.

Elegant Angel‘s boxcovers. Unless there was a movie featuring women with maybe ten to twenty extra pounds than the porn standard, all of them lounging around wearing just one item of my clothing and nothing else, I can’t think of a better forum for presenting our nation’s porn stars looking their best than the body of work that is the Elegant Angel boxcover.

Jacky St. James and Eddie Powell. This New Sensations writing/directing team might actually make you like couples’ porn. It’s a tall order, but they continually present sex as a function of life rather than—as many couples’ porn movies do—an obsession. Don’t you want to watch movies in which it looks like people enjoy having sex as opposed to being darkly/secretly/whateverly compelled to it?

Dana Vespoli and Manuel Ferrara. Whichever company the former couple are working for, each delivers great scenes that are believable. Chemistry is important to them, and with so much porn saturating the market, we sometimes forget that chemistry is important to us.

Lux is thankful for….

POV porn. Guys. You know that I’m a lady, right? Well. Being a lady, and one without a penis at that, I sometimes wonder what it might be like to have a penis of my own. POV porn may not provide me with all the sensation that having an actual, factual penis does, but it mimics the male experience of sex far closer than standard shot porn ever could. And for that, I’m truly grateful.

Tristan Taormino. I met this wonderful lady over a decade ago, when she was a Village Voice columnist and I was a star struck fan girl. Now she’s one of my favorite porn directors, a woman who tirelessly works to put out some of the most consistently hot (and often educational!) porn on the market. And that’s not even her full time job. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m so incredibly glad she does.

The XBIZ Awards (sound warning!). Hey, did you know that we’re up for an award? Because we totally are. I don’t really know what a “fan portal” is, or what it takes to be Fan Portal of the Year, but I’m truly honored that XBIZ was kind enough to recognize us in the category. (And I’m extra super grateful that F is early enough in the alphabet to give us the top slot on that list of nominated fan portals.)

Clayton Cubitt. Not only is he a talented artist, he’s also genius enough to combine my two biggest loves (masturbation and reading, duh) into one amazing artistic product. And I’ll be even more thankful when he finally releases my episode to the masses.

Cindy Gallop. Anyone who gets the Times Style Section talking about porn deserves some props.

Matthew Barney. I can’t actually say much about this one, but make a note in your calendar to stop into your local opera house in 2014 to see some serious craziness.

[Get thankful for gorgeous porn over at X-Art.]

Oh damn, it’s election day! Unless you live in a swing state, you probably feel a bit helpless right now, and you’re wondering what you can actually do to ensure the future of your country. Real talk: you can’t do a thing, but you most certainly can prepare for election night by stocking up on smut. No matter who wins, we have you covered!

If Obama wins…
In his second term, Barack Obama’s socialist dreams will finally be realized, and we will march forward into an America where prosperity is shared lest you feel like ending up in government-run turnip farms. Women’s reproductive rights will be secured, but if they feel like having sex, they will first have to have consult a panel of president-appointed pornstars who will doubly penetrate them, spank them, choke them, and fulfill their wildest group sex fantasies. The world will look a lot like one of our favorite Bobbi Starr films, “Gangbanged,” which is the perfect movie for celebrating Barack’s victory. It’s like Bill Clinton said: “we’re all in this together.”

[Clip via AEBN Porn Pay Per View Network (theater.aebn.net)]

If Romney wins…

A limo will pull up outside your house and then a handful of Fortune 500 CEOs will bust inside your living room and step on your parents: that’s November 7th. By the end of 2013, the rich of Romney’s America will have fucked you so hard that you’ll barely register the fact that they’re making you pay for their condoms. What should you do? Fuck them back! There is actually a surprising amount of porn that focuses on wealthy people getting got in the genitals, but current favorite is a sweet little scene from Brazzers called “Rich Bitch Rub Down.” Blaire Banks stars as a rich, snotty teen who gets whatever she wants, including private massages from Johnny Sins. She tries to seduce him, but he explains that he’s a professional and isn’t comfortable with the idea of engaging in sexual activity with clients. Blaire doesn’t listen, and demands a happy ending from Johnny, so he obliges her and then jizzes on her face. Long live the jizz of the working class!

[Blaire's blowjob picture courtesy of Brazzers (brazzers.com)]

And if Measure B passes…
What happens when Los Angeles mandates condom usage in porn? We’ve thought about it long and hard, we don’t know what will happen exactly. Maybe the porn industry will collapse, maybe it will thrive, or maybe it’ll leave for another state. All we know for sure is that companies like Wicked Pictures will be just fine, and their condom-only ways could position them to be the top studio in the industry. So expect to see more porn like the scene from “XXX Avengers” above (except minus the crazy makeup on Kaylani Lei, unless that’s part of Measure B we didn’t know about).

Anyway, we hope this has inspired you to get out and vote and stop by your local adult retailer on the way home!

[Clip via AEBN Porn Pay Per View Network (theater.aebn.net)]

[At top: some patriotic babes courtesy of Reality Kings (realitykings.com)]

We just wanted to remind you that October 21st (this Sunday) is Fisting Day! We’ll definitely be doing it big here at Fleshbot, so if you feel like getting into the swing of the season, please do check us out.

Some of you may be wondering what Fisting Day is, and for that, we go to the Fisting Day website which has a ton of info. In short, Fisting Day is a celebration of this fabulous and five-fingered sex act as well as an attempt to debunk harmful myths surrounding it. Fisting is one of the things that often draw obscenity charges because of the assumption that it’s inherently painful and violent, but sex workers and educators (like Courtney Trouble and Jiz Lee, who co-founded Fisting Day in 2011) assert that it isn’t, and with the proper care and training, it can be every bit as safe and orgasm inducing as jerking off.

Get excited folks. Fisting Day only comes once a year, but if you pay attention, you could be coming way more often.

· Fisting Day Headquarters (fistingday.tumblr.com)

It’s the Fourth of July, it’s Independence Day, the United States of America is 236 years-old and she is a straight-up MILF. Today, people are using their day off to bask in the glory of a hot American summer, and there’s no better place to do that than the beach. We thought we’d join them with a big ol’ post about babes, bikinis, and other kinds of shore-based sexiness we find from sea to shining sea.

When we think about bodies on the beach, there are a few names that come to mind immediately:

Leilani Dowding – Leilani first caught our eyes when we noticed that she was going topless on the beach all the time, and we soon realized that her nudity has almost nothing to do with looking pretty and getting attention, but is really an expression of who she is as a person.
Jennifer Nicole Lee – She is our Ultimate Beach MILF, a self-made woman, a fitness guru, and a hard-bodied honey who takes to the surf in the skimpiest of thongs and with the wettest of t-shirts. Sometimes she has nip slips, and we respect that.
Shauna Sand – We’ve been tight with Shauna ever since we interviewed her about her sex tape, and during that discussion we learned that Shauna spent her young adulthood with her breasts hanging out on a foreign shore. How could we not associate her with beaches? The woman’s last name is Sand! Also, did you see that time she and her man had a bunch of sex by the sea? It was hot.
Nicole “Coco” Austin – Coco doesn’t need hot weather and sparkling waters to show skin; she likes to take off her clothing anytime, anywhere. However, some of our favorite moments with her have taken place on the beach, and when you think about her body as often as we do, you can’t help but marvel at the bikinis that (mostly) manage to hold her curves in.

Ah, yes, beach fashion: it’s the arena where nudity, utility, and style duke it out over sand-encrusted butt cheeks and sweaty skin covered in sea salt.

· Some people say that the best beach fashion is no clothing at all.
· Belen Rodriguez probably has an enormous bikini collection, but she prefers to hit the beach sans top.
· We’re not saying you need to show a lot of skin to have a sexy time at the shore. Heck, half the fun of beach banging is peeling your lover’s swimsuit off.
· Also, Kate Upton. No commentary necessary.

But hey, we don’t need celebrities and models to tell us how to enjoy the sand and surf. We just have to grab some sunscreen and look into our hearts. Or, if our hearts don’t have the answer, we look at amateur porn.

· This young woman never hits the beach without ample sunscreen, sunglasses, a frisbee, and a bag full of anal toys.
· If you get tired of the taste of seawater, head back to shore and give your lover some head. It’s salty, but it’s a human saltiness.
· Really though, beach sex can be complicated, so if you’re planning on doing some shore piping, you may want to browse our How-To guide!

Or maybe you’d rather skip all of the crowds and heat, stay at home, and get the rest and relaxation that you painfully deserve. We’re cool with that! Hey, how often do you get a Wednesday off to do nothing? Enjoy your peace. And, if you start to pine for peaceful waves and hot young honeys, you can hop on your Netflix and check out our favorite vacation-themed films with naughty content! Yes, today, everywhere is “Sizzle Beach, U.S.A.”

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

[At top: a fine foursome of flag holders, via Brazzers (bbp.brazzers.com)]

It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s a Tuesday, and if you’re like us, you are probably not on the ball right now. It’s cool though! Here are some things you can pick up on the way home, or if worst comes to worst, things you can have delivered by the weekend. (Because honestly, it’s a fucking Tuesday. Can’t we just reschedule this for Saturday?)

(We can’t? Fine.)

Romantic Smut
Not too long ago, we explored the rapidly expanding world of pornography aimed at couples, and in case you haven’t read it, here’s the jist: porn companies want you to watch their wares with a loved one, and more and more of them have been creating studios that focus solely on making such films. New Sensations has New Sensations Romance, Wicked has Wicked Passions, Adult Source Media has ASM Intimate Encounters and so on and so forth.

Anyway, the point is, you should hit the nearest naughty video store on your way home and pick something up. If you don’t usually watch porn with your partner, tonight could be a great time to try it out! “Awakening to Love” is our favorite movie by Eddie Powell for New Sensations Romance; the weepy, emotional stuff plays right into oral sex, the sex influences the emotions, and Danny Mountain’s British charms teach Samantha Ryan how to love again.

Toys, Toys, and More Toys
We recommend them for Christmas, for birthdays, for graduation presents, etc., so you probably get it by now. We want you to buy sex toys, we think you’ll have a lot of fun, and we’re sorry we say this all the time. Anyway, while we’re on the subject, you better not try to have sex without a toy tonight.

Our list of Top Ten Sex Toys of 2011 includes a number of great couple-friendly gadgets, including the squeeze-controlled Minna Ola, a wirelessly controlled couple’s vibrator called Tiani, and the easy-to-assemble Door Jam Sex Sling. If you’re tired of things that buzz or hold your ass in the air, we suggest going for something rough like the Neon Wand. Alternately, pick up a couple of SINSual Shots, the herbal aphrodisiac that certain a Fleshbot writer still craves but worries about becoming addicted to.

If you don’t have the time to hit the sex shop on your way home, we’ve got good news: Babeland delivers! And if you’re living near Park Slope, Brooklyn, delivery is 100% free for you tonight. Take advantage of it!

Sexy Bed Sheets
This one might seem a bit weird, but hear us out. Vice Merchants makes some damn comfortable 400 thread-count sheets (note: Consumer Reports says anything over 400 is pointless and/or a lie) that feature beautiful patterns based on erotic artwork. At the moment, there are two patterns to choose from–”Poppy Playground” on the left and “Pearl Divers” on the right–each with two color schemes.

On a personal note, I had the good fortune to sleep on a queen-sized set of taupe “Poppy Playground” bedding, and even though I initially felt funny about sleeping on naked females, I loved waking up in a sea of poppies dotted with dames in pin-up positions. Will your loved one be down? Hopefully! It all depends on how you present the sheets. They can be the centerpiece of a rose-petal walkway surrounded by candles, or they can be what you hold behind your back when you say, “Hey, baby, look at this goofiness!” (Goofiness is the ultimate aphrodisiac.)

Literature
Yes, erotica: it’s not just for lonely nights in the tub with some white wine anymore! We’ve recently been reading a bunch of short story collections organized and published by Cleis Press, and we think we have the perfect book you and your honeypie can read to each other. “Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples” opens with a story of two young lovers who discover the pants-soaking joy of savagely biting each other, and the book keeps getting better from there.

If “couples” stuff is too vague, then perhaps you will enjoy this anal-based story collection as much as we did! It’s called “Luscious,” and whether you’ve never played with the ass or you’re a seasoned veteran of the backdoor battlefield, this book will put the booty in your brain. Our favorite story is one about an anal sex workshop in which a man overcomes his anxieties about experimenting with his girlfriend’s ass. We could practically feel our fingers being squeezed as we read!

Also, we know we’ve mentioned this before, but we really want you to read “Steamlust” because it’s steampunk erotica and that is hilarious/hot/so 2009.

Aphrodisiacs
Some people think aphrodisiacs are boring, useless, and/or a tacky approach to foreplay, but we think those people have eating disorders. There are countless herbs, fruits, meats, and drinks that can get your blood flowing to the fun parts of your body and brain. More to the point, it doesn’t matter how much chocolate makes you want to fuck as long as you’re eating it with someone you love (or at least someone you like a lot in that special way).

That being said, now is the perfect time to explore the world of aphrodisiacs! Amy Reiley is one of the world’s leading authorities on aphrodisiacs, and her website happens to offer an Aphrodisiac of the Month newsletter for free. Every month, this Cordon Bleu-educated chef will give you the low-down on what’s tasty, titillating, and fresh, so you can easily head out and serve up something sexy for dinner.

In our opinion, this is the kind of gift that people should be giving each other on Valentine’s Day; it’s not just a single bit of something that is exciting for one night, it’s a commitment to trying new things as a couple. Isn’t that what people in relationships are supposed to do? Don’t you want to pioneer new lands in your perverted palette, together? No? Well, snap, then ply your sweetheart with wine and call it a night.

And if you’re single, buy the sheets, the sex toys, the porn, the books, a bunch of aphrodisiacs, and become the hot decadent mess you’ve always wanted to become. Happy Valentine’s Day!

[At top: Tori Black, Alexis Texas, Lexi Belle, and Sindee Jennings via Alexis Texas's Official Site (promo.premiumpass.com)]

The turkey (or, in Lux’s case, vegan celebration roast) is in the oven, the mashed potatoes are almost done…and it’s time to sit back, relax, and get ready to express some gratitude. We here at Fleshbot have a lot of things to be thankful for—and on this day of gratitude, we’d like to share those things with you.

Lux is thankful for…

Daisy Lowe: Though I don’t really have a specific type, and find a wide range of women to be incredibly alluring, if I could only look at one naked woman for the rest of my life, Daisy Lowe is probably the one I’d pick. I mean, have you seen her naked?

Premium cable: It used to be that there were one or two shows on HBO or Showtime that had reliable nudity. Now it seems like every other program (especially the Sunday night ones!) is wall to wall flesh. If you ask me, it’s a great time for TV…especially since I hear most of these shows have stuff like good writing and plots, too.

JimmyJane: I used to think that JimmyJane’s products were more style than substance. Then they released the Pleasure to the People line, and suddenly I was a JimmyJane evangelist. There are lots of great toys out there, made by lots of great companies—but if you’re a girl who’s only got room in her life for one single vibrator, I highly recommend picking up a Form 2 or Form 3.

Stoya and Buck Angel:Not only are they two of the most awesome, amazing, and just plain fun people in the adult industry, they also took off their clothes in front of me and let Ellen Stagg take pictures. Hey, the way to my heart is through full frontal nudity, okay?

The Fleshbot Awards: Okay, so as executive producer of this event I’m a little biased. But seriously: is there any other party that brings together the likes of Alan Cumming, Chyna, Casey Spooner, Belladonna, Stoya, and Patricia Field and unites them all in the cause of celebrating sexy? I think not. Here’s to many more years of sexy celebrations. (Oh, and I would be remiss if I did not thank the fabulous sponsors who made this event possible: Fleshlight, Pink Visual, JimmyJane, and Billy Boy condoms, you’ve all earned my eternal love and devotion.)

Ottimo is thankful for…

Evil Angel: for always being 100% unabashedly hardcore, and willing to let Bobbi Starr call the shots.

SINsual Shot: This strange little aphrodisiac drink was delightfully fun to test, and it totally redeemed horny goat weed in my eyes. Then again, I might need to run more trials to be sure…

Lee Roy Myers, Brian Bangs, and Spock Buckton: You guys, “Man Vs. Pussy” came out in June and I’m still reminiscing about that movie. If I could, I would teach a university course solely about this film and all the kids taking Tolstoy and Dostoevsky classes would be like, “Damn, that source material looks absurdly epic.”

Kathleen Robertson: Daaaaaaaamn, girl.

My Fleshbot compatriots: I love you all dearly. You are my main source of giggles and I learn so much from you everyday.

Brian is thankful for…

Elbow Grease: This is just the best damn lube in the whole world for having “gentleman’s time.” You don’t need to reapply and it just makes everything feel silky and wonderful.

The Continued Relevance of Francois Sagat: He’s starring in porn, he’s art directing porn, he’s the subject of magazine articles and museum exhibits and documentaries. If gay porn gets a cross-over star, I’m so glad it’s him.

Webcams Automatically Installed in Computers: Without these, X-Tube wouldn’t have nearly as many hot gays beating off on the internet.

Chest Hair: Just ’cause.

Orgy Scenes: I’m glad that some of the big porn companies are still paying five or six or seven or nine or fifteen stars at a time to suck and fuck each other into oblivion. Sure, they’re extravagant, but if this isn’t what our Puritan forefathers were sailing on the Mayflower for, then I don’t know what is.

Sailor is thankful for…

Pornified sex education: From Tristan Taormino to Carol Queen to jessica drake, educational porn is hotter (and more well-informed) than it’s ever been, and I’m so grateful and turned on for it.

The growing demand for hot men with big cocks: Porn has never been so great for the straight girl, with James Deen leading a pack of gorgeous guys who are more than just stunt genitals. Xander Corvus, Keni Styles, Sean Michaels, Wolf Hudson, and Anthony Rosano are just a few of the male performers that made this year a fun one for healthily sexual heterosexual women.

Forever and always, Nica Noelle: If I cheerlead her any more than I have already, I will probably need to make myself some kind of uniform.

Pope Alexander VI, a.k.a. Rodrigo Borgia: His existence and dastardly deeds during his lifetime have led to not one, but two incredibly sexy shows populated by gorgeous naked women and Renaissance-style violence. In that vein, I’m grateful for the whole Borgia clan, for their sexual antics and lack of traditional morals.

International editions of Playboy: because they’re classy, sassy, and make up for everything we feel is missing from their American counterpart.

Florabel is thankful for…

The Butterfly Kiss Waterproof Vibrator: I received this toy as part of a holiday gift pack (“Under the Mistletoe”) from Good Vibes last year, and it is truly a gift that keeps on giving and giving — and for which I am truly thankful. It hits all the right places and does so in a quick, easy, and effective manner. Plus it’s incredibly inexpensive as far as vibrators go! I’m thankful that this vibrator exists and that there’s one right underneath my bed!

Little Caprice: Whether she’s showing some beautiful skin for X-Art, Sapphic Erotica, or Hegre-Art, it seems like nobody can get enough Caprice. I’m thankful she’s so generous with, well, herself, and always seems to be giving us Caprice-ophiles something new and exciting to take in.

A Dangerous Method: Now, I haven’t gotten to see the film (it just came out yesterday, gimme a break!) so can’t speak on plot or cinematography and such, but anything that allows us to catch a glimpse of Keira Knightley’s boobies, especially when coupled with a bonus sexy spanking, is a thing for which I thank my lucky stars.

Coco: What’s not to love about a celebrity wife (that has 10+ years of marriage under her belt) with a body that’s always begging to bust out of whatever pesky article of clothing is trying to keep it hidden? From many a nipple slip, to full-out Titty Tuesdays on Twitter to constant cameltoe, Coco is a fine lady that makes Ice-T a very lucky man. I’m just thankful that she doesn’t mind sharing!

James Deen’s Twitter: Yes, this was on my list last year… But if anything, since then I’ve grown only more thankful for these little sunbeams of tweets that ever so often grace a feed dominated with news, politics, and various other internet-isms. Because just when I think I can’t stand to read another snippet on Rick Perry, something like “I officially banged @kellydivine in the butt so hard she pissed herself ” comes along, and really serves to brighten things up a lot. So thank you, James, and thank you Fleshbotters for appreciating the things we do.

· Thanksgiving feast photo courtesy of Muki’s Kitchen (mukiskitchen.com)

Are your fingers limbered up? Are your orifices ready to be stretched? Are your eyeballs ready to ogle? We hope the answer to all of the above is yes, because we’re just a scant few weeks away from International Fisting Day, an unofficial holiday created by Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble in the hopes of encouraging discussion about—and, hopefully, practicing of—fisting (a sexual act that, by the by, has been deemed “obscene” in certain American courts).

Can’t wait until October 21? Well…we’re sure no one will mind if you start getting your fist on just a little bit early.

· Read more at Jiz Lee’s blog (jizlee.com)
· Photo by John B. Root (rebootcash.com)

Did you know that Canada gained full independence from Great Britain in 1982? Crazy stuff, but when we think about all the incredibly sexy people that Canada has given the world, it makes us feel like America should’ve dealt with the Crown a little longer.

We know its Independence Day weekend and all that, but today (yes, right now) is Canada Day, and we feel that it’s good to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things that Canada has done for us! Plus, how embarrassing would it be if you were hanging out with your friends, talking about all the American hotties you love, and you accidentally name a Canadian? You can’t just go around assuming people are from your country. Let’s give credit where credit is due and appreciate all the naughty gifts we’ve received from our neighbors to the north.

Grace Park
We’ve seen a formidable amount of “Battlestar Galactica” in our day, and many Cylons have passed by our eyes, but none have made us quiver quite like Sharon Valerii and Sharon Agathon, both played by the lovely and talented Grace Park. She’s appeared on Maxim’s Hot 100 Lists multiple times, in various levels of undress, and every time she shows up, we immediately recall the powerful (albeit greedy) fantasies we have about being surrounded by a team of Grace Park Cylons. Even just two Grace Parks would be awesome.

Drew Deveaux
Drew is a post-op trans woman, the Feminist Porn Awards’ Heartthrob of the Year, and one of our newest Crush Objects. You might have seen her in Carlos Batts’s “Artcore,” Courtney Trouble’s “Roulette Toronto,” and/or various Mile High Media productions. Or maybe you read that interview we did with her. Or perhaps you don’t know her at all, although you suddenly find yourself hopelessly attracted to her stunning androgynous looks. No matter how well-acquainted you are with Drew, there’s always more to discover and love.

[Photo by Ellen Stagg, via Drew Deveaux (drewdeveaux.com)]
Pamela Anderson
We know we already praised this famous Canadian today, but her impact on American culture is too huge to only warrant one post. If you didn’t see her sex tape with Tommy Lee, you probably watched her religiously on “Baywatch” and then wished you could see her sex tape. Everyone, at one point or another, has been captivated by Pamela Anderson and her blonde, busty swagger.

You know, we used to see her a lot more of this site. What happened to all the nipslips and upskirt photos?

[Photo via Babylon-X (free-sex-for-you.com)]
Sunny Leone
We really don’t give Sunny enough props on Fleshbot. Leone was Penthouse Pet of the Year in 2003, a Vivid contract-girl from 2005 to 2008, XBIZ Web babe of 2008, AVN Web Starlet of 2010, and she’s still performing in and directing films! And she’s maintained her family’s Sikh traditions the entire time. Last year, Maxim named her one of the top twelve female pornstars, and we couldn’t agree more. The girl is a powerhouse.

[Penthouse (galleries.penthouse.com)]
Emmanuelle Chriqui
She’s a familiar face to all “Entourage” fans, but even if you’re not familiar with the show, you’ve probably drooled over her image once or twice before. We’d like to add that she’s going to voice Cheetara in the upcoming “ThunderCats” animated series. If that’s not an extremely sexy contribution to society, we don’t know what is.

[Above: One of the rare glimpses of Emmanuelle Chriqui's nipple]

Trish Stratus
Patricia Anne Stratigias, better known as Trish Stratus, is a fitness model-turned professional wrestler for the WWE (back when it was the WWF). She retired from wrestling in 2006, but not before having a huge impact on the highly-sexualized side of professional televised wrestling. She started out doing Diva matches, wrestling in lingerie, managing a team of performers called T&A, faking affairs with Chairman Vince McMahon, and other scandalous business. But as her popularity increased, she had the opportunity to take on bigger fights, and she eventually became WWE Hardcore Champion and earned the title Diva of the Decade.

Daria Werbowy
Not only is she one of most gorgeous and popular models around, she’s also one of the most frequently nude models. Industrie magazine published an issue simply called “How to Look Good Naked” and Daria was on the cover. She is both the question and the answer.

Camille Crimson
You know we’re obsessed with Camille Crimson; don’t act surprised. It’s not just her mind-blowing oral skills that impress us, it’s the whole package: her wit, her artistic vision, her honesty, and her impending deal with Fleshlight are only a few facets that intrigue us. And yes, watching her give head is so intense that we often have to remind ourselves to breathe. It’s no wonder she received honors from the Feminist Porn Awards.

[Photo via The Art of Blowjob (theartofblowjob.com)]
Anna Paquin
We try to see this girl naked every week on “True Blood,” but it doesn’t always work out. However, she always brings an air of comfortable sexiness to everything she does—yes, even when she was playing Rogue in the first “X-Men” movie. Are we attracted to ladies with diastemas? Yes we are. Are we still attracted to Anna Paquin post-diastema? Yes, our love grows with every passing week. Even with she’s covered with blood? Of course.

Sook-Yin Lee
You probably know Sook-Yin Lee from her role in the ever-popular “Shortbus,” but did you know that this sexy movie almost cost her a job? The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation was pissed that she engaged in non-simulated intercourse and masturbation, and they only relented when Francis Ford Coppola, Michael Stipe, Julianne Moore, Yoko Ono, and others rallied behind Lee. Fighting for something you believe in: boss. Fighting for the right to be naked and have sex and do it with the support of random celebrities: wife material.

Lee Roy Myers
Just because we haven’t seen him naked (yet) doesn’t mean he hasn’t contributed to the world’s supply of sexiness. Porn director/producer/writer/editor/visionary d’extraordinaire Lee Roy Myers has helped the adult industry grow in so many different ways, and he continues to make films that challenge the public’s perception of how awesome smut can be. He’s made some of the world’s most popular parody porn, he pioneered New Sensations’s Romance series, and his latest collaboration with POPPORN, “Man Vs. Pussy,” made us spew a thousand words of praise in his direction. We’re gushing too much. All we really mean to say is this: Go Canada.

Dear readers, Happy Masturbation Month! It’s not like you need an excuse to fap it, but it’s nice to know that your manual manipulation habits are season appropriate. Anyhow, we thought we’d help you out with a quick list of our favorite masturbation aids!

If we may take a moment to press the importance of this month, we’d like to talk about the spirit of all this magical Maysturbation. Every time you wank it—and this goes for any month of the year, even on leap years—you’re sending positive orgasmic vibes into the universe and making yourself healthier and happier. But this month, we’d like you to think about how necessary masturbation is for keeping civilization afloat practicing safe sex. Good Vibrations invented National Masturbation Month in 1995 as a response to the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders, who, in 1994, made a controversial statement suggesting that masturbation should be part of sex education. So when you’re sticking it to yourself this month, you’re also sticking it to the Clinton administration’s tightwad attitude.

Anyway, let’s get down to the good stuff…

Gadgets For Your Gizmo: Now is a good time to buy those fancy sex toys they’re always talking about on the Fleshbot. For the females, we highly suggest getting the new Form 4 from JimmyJane. It may not look like much, but it’s got all the right curves coupled with a strong motor; frankly, JimmyJane never disappoints. If you’re looking for something a little more subtle, try Lelo’s Mia: a USB powered vibrator that fits in the palm of your hand. For the gents, we once again have to give it up for Tenga. Both the Tenga Flip Hole and the FLIP AIR (all caps, every time) would make absolutely decadent additions to your sex toy stash, and we can’t recommend them strongly enough. Lastly, both boys and girls can enjoy Good Vibration’s “Up the Chimney” Gift Kit, two charming silicone butt toys and a bottle of lube. Why not engage your final frontier this month? Do it for Dr. Elders.

Beauty Is In the Eye of the Be-horny: You need porn? We got your porn right here. In terms of parody porn (which, despite our anguish, is still all the rage), we’ve recently enjoyed “The Official Californication Parody,” “Pron,” and “Top Guns.” These three movies represent the height of wit, budget, and boobs in the adult parody world today, and we feel they deserve some saluting. “Pron” director Lee Roy Myers always deserves a salute. If you’d like to learn something new this holiday season, you should give “Gush” a gander, and learn all about the finer points of g-spot stimulation, female ejaculation, and how gosh darn hot Dylan Ryan is. Speaking of gushing, we just raved about Elegant Angel’s “Gangbanged” starring Lisa Ann and Bobbi Starr; it’s quite hardcore. As always, there are suggestions and pornstar praises in our (somewhat) weekly Fleshbot’s Friday Five articles, and you can always work up a decent self-lather with our massive collection of Flesh Flicks.

Erotic Readables: Some people think that naughty things are best written down and printed because it gives them an air of permanence. We just think words are sexy. Regardless, you should check out Madison Ava Jones’s American Taboo because this little sample we posted was damn steamy. Actually, we’ve posted a big ol’ number of steamy short stories and erotic excerpts written by a wide range of bloggers, and you can find them all on our True Sex Stories page. Literotica is nifty if you’re looking for a more laser-guided approach to finding your fetish. Oh, and if you don’t care for words but still want a thing made of paper, we suggest grabbing “Fetish Goddess Dita,” a book of rare and unpublished pics of Dita Von Teese.

One Is Not The Loneliest Number: It wouldn’t be National Masturbation Month without the annual Masturbate-a-Thons hosted in San Francisco, Portland, and London! Compared with last year, there doesn’t seem to be as much pomp about the event this year, but it’s still going to be nasty, safe, and all kinds of sexy. If you happen to be in San Francisco on the 21st and 22nd of this month, you should check out the Center for Sex and Culture! Here are some pics from last year’s Masturbate-a-Thon to get you inspired. Hey, we just realized that the first day of the Masturbate-a-Thon takes place on the date when the Rapture is scheduled. Well that ought to be fun! Merry May, everyone.

· Thumbnail via Explicite Art (galleries.rebootcash.net)

Pierced nipples? Sex on the roof of a car? Bringing whipped cream to naughty picnics? Mosh and Bizarre Magazine are doing irreversible erotic damage to our perception of the beloved Easter Bunny. (And we like it.)

While we’re on this topic, we’d like to ask: what gender do you envision the Easter Bunny as? It always seemed to us like the mascot was on the same level as Peter Rabbit and the workaholic Rabbit from “Winnie-the-Pooh.” Still, it’s hard to think of bunnies without mentioning Playboy, so we could see this going either way. Leave it to a girl like Mosh to tip the scales and forever leave us with the image of a kinky, naked Easter mascot who reminds us somewhat of the skateboarding, accordion-playing bunny kid from that movie “Gummo.” If only this were scratch n’ sniff!

· Bizarre Magazine (bizarremag.com)
· Pic via Pretty Hot and Sexy (prettyhotandsexy.sk)

Hustler was sweet enough to send us over a very racy clip that we believe was taken from security footage at the North Pole. We don’t get much of a reaction from Santa, but then again he was pretty intoxicated.

Too bad that he was, because we were really hoping for a three-way with the elf. But that’s okay. There’s always next year for Santa to get on that section of the naughty list.

· Hustler Magazine (hustlermagazine.com)

Every winter, our inboxes are flooded with links to Christmas-themed porn: naked babes in Santa hats and…well, it’s mostly just naked babes in Santa hats. With the exception of Halloween, there’s no other holiday that generates this much themed smut.

But what, exactly, is the appeal? Halloween porn, strange though it may seem, at least makes sense. At its core, Halloween is a holiday about dressing up and exploring fantasies, two activities that factor heavily into many a good session of sex play (and let’s not forget that it gives us the opportunity to enjoy all sorts of supernatural creatures—vampires, zombies, and the like—getting their freak on). But Christmas? Well, it’s about giving gifts, and baby Jesus, and…Santa hats?

This is not to say that it’s impossible to make good Christmas porn. Like any theme, Christmas porn is as good as the effort that’s put into it, and there are quite a few aspects of the Christmas season that are quite ripe for pornification. Kissing under the mistletoe? Santa punishing the naughty (and maybe rewarding the nice)? Gifting the gift of hot, hot sex? Mary and Joseph consummating their marriage in the manger? (Okay, maybe not that one.)

Yet somehow, something always seems to get lost in the rush to get out smut in time for Christmas Eve, and we’re left with…well, naked babes in Santa hats.

So we’re not saying that we don’t want more Christmas porn. But we would like to see a little more effort put into the whole shebang. Maybe a bit more along the lines of A Very Kleio Christmas, and less along the lines of naked babes in Santa hats.

Because, let’s face it: quality XXX action with a good plot and a thoughtfully integrated holiday feel? That might just be the best Christmas present ever.

· Thumbnail star: Aletta Ocean (twistys.com)

It’s May (in fact, it’s been May for a while) and that means it’s National Masturbation Month. Tis the season for touching the most important person in your life: you! We almost forgot to pimp our favorite month.

Good Vibrations invented National Masturbation Month in 1995 as a response to the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders, who, in 1994, made a controversial statement suggesting that masturbation should be part of safe sex education. Her views didn’t jive with those of the Clinton administration, and she lost her job in December of the same year.

But fret not! There are many ways to contribute to a safe, healthy, sex-positive society from the comforts of your own home. You know what we’re talking about…

The Right Tools For The Job: Buy those fancy sex toys you’ve had your eye on, and really let loose this month. Our current favorites include the ever unusual LoveHoney Sqweel, the delicately simple G-Ki by Je Joue, and of course, JimmyJane’s Form 2. Though she couldn’t be with us today, Editrix Lux would like to give props to the Twisted Rose Glass Dildo as another fine Maypole to dance around. For the gents, we suggest investing in a RealTouch, a Fleshlight (with new signature textures!), or a Tenga Egg.

A Feast For The Eyes: Did you know that some people enjoy using visual aids to assist their masturbation? We suggest watching movies that feature people having sex. The industry has even parodied classics such as “The Big Lebowski” and everyone’s favorite sexy vampire show, “True Blood”! In keeping with the masturbation theme, we’d also like to promote “April Flores Solo”, starring everyone’s favorite voluptuous vixen self-loving in various locations. Last, let us remind you that there’s plenty of good fap material hanging around our Flesh Flicks page.

Literacy Is Sexy: Do you love to read? Like, really love it? If so, we can recommend tons of books for your (c)literary pleasure. Best Women’s Erotica 2010 is an easy choice, but feel free to browse our book section, or even our collection of True Sex Stories to help set the mood. And for the more practical among you, it never hurts to bone up (ha ha, bone) on some masturbation techniques. We suggest JackinWorld for boys, Clitical for girls, and Let’s Masturbate for everyone!

Join The Party: Tired of masturbating alone? What a coincidence! Masturbate-a-Thons pop up all over the world every year; London, Copenhagen, Portland (Oregon, that is) and Washington D.C. have all hosted personal pleasure pledge drives, attracting leagues of curious and competitive participants. The biggest and bestest event goes down each year in San Francisco where, May 30th, Dr. Carol Queen will host Nina Hartley, Jiz Lee, April Flores, and other sexy notables for a day of record-breaking masturbation. Will you be there when they make history? Happy May, everyone!

· Thumbnail star (PS: today is also her birthday), Marie McCray (stunners.com)

Now that the turkey’s been polished off and the table cleared, it’s time to turn our thoughts to what really matters: Black Friday, and the start of the holiday shopping season.

Some of you may have already been to Wal-Mart and back to stock up on Black Friday specials…but if you’re anything like us, Wal-Mart doesn’t stock what you really want. Looking to ensure a little kissing (and then some) under the mistletoe this holiday season? Read on for a few sexy gift ideas.

Sexy present: Luna (lunascam.com)

For the porn enthusiast: Sure, you could give someone a porno—but why not give a porno that’s special? “Cummin’ At You 3D” isn’t just any porno: it’s a 3D interactive adventure that offers 50,000 possible adventures. And, as an added bonus, it’s also got Sindee Jennings squirting…in 3D.

For the onanist: Tired of the sound of one hand fapping? The Real Touch goes one step further than the Fleshlight, offering a masturbation sleeve that fucks you back. Integrated with POV porn to create the realest fantasy money can buy (well, short of hiring an escort, anyway), the Real Touch is sure to please even the chronicest of (male) masturbators.

For the onanista: Masturbation’s not just a male game—but what to get the lady who’s taken a few trips round the toy box? For a revamped rabbit, try JimmyJane’s Form 2—or, for a sensual massage, you can’t go wrong with Contour Q. And for the lady who likes a good tongue lashing, well, the ten tongues of the Sqweel are pretty hard to top.

For the calendar lover: Tis the season to stock up on sexy calendars—but with so many on the shelves, how to pick just one? We’re personally smitten with Digital Playground’s illustrated Contract Star Calendar, featuring fourteen months of hand drawn sexy goodness. (We’ve got a preview of illustrated Katsuni at left; Stoya, Riley Steele, and Gabriella Fox all look lovely as well.)

Of course, if you prefer a calendar that’s more flesh and blood than illustrated girl, there’s always the 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar. All proceeds go to benefit Sex Work Awareness—so it’s a gift that keeps on giving (and to sex workers, at that!).

For the stylist genital enthusiast: If you’re reading Fleshbot, there’s a pretty good chance you love pussy, or dick, or both. So why not show the world where your heart lies? Agent Provocateur’s Sharon cardigan is festively bedecked with phalluses; the customizable Vulva Portrait Pendant lets you show your love for your very favoritest pussy of all. [Via nymag.com]

Valentine’s Day is but a few days away—and if you’re anything like us, you probably haven’t even begun to think about buying a present for your loved (or lusted after) one.

But it’s okay—Gizmodo and Fleshbot are here for you, with a list of sexy gadgets sure to please each and every geek girl (and boy) out there. Cause remember: nothing says, “I love you” quite like a gadget (especially one that gives orgasms).

For the Apple fanatic: Lelo Gigi: True, Lelo’s Stockholm headquarters are about 5390 miles from Cupertino, but from the looks of the Gigi, you’d never know it. With its sleek white handle and pretty colored shaft, it could easily pass for Steve Jobs’s long lost offspring. It even has a click wheel!

For the phone lover: BodiTalk Escort: The iPhone app store may have cracked down on “adult” apps—but that doesn’t mean you can’t use your phone to get your rocks off. The BodiTalk Escort kicks into gear whenever a nearby cell phone is in use. Finally, you’ll be able to live out those dreams of an iPhone menage a trois.

For the girl with too many cables: Lelo Mia: With all the chargers and cables in our lives, the last thing anyone needs is yet another gift with yet another easily lost power cord—which makes the USB-powered Mia so very, very refreshing. This little lipstick vibe needs nothing more than a computer to get its charge back—and with its discreet appearance, you should have no trouble charging it anywhere you go. (Just, uh, remember to wash it after using it.)

For the couple that geeks together: WeVibe: Valentine’s Day isn’t just about presents, presents, and more presents—it’s about celebrating the deeply felt love that you and your partner share. And what better way to celebrate that love than with a gadget you can use together? The WeVibe is a flexible, C-shaped, silicone vibe that’s worn by the lady during the sex, made to add a little extra bump to your bump and grind.

For the boys: Bo and Real Touch (see it in action here): Sexy gadgets aren’t just for girls—after years of giving all the good sex tech to the ladies, companies are finally starting to take notice of the other half of the population. We’ve got two good picks for boys. First up is thethe Bo, a cock gentleman’s ring that—with its sleek silicone body and rechargeable motor—leaves those gummy rings with bullet vibes trailing in the dust. Secondly, there’s the Real Touch, a robotic vagina that syncs with your favorite porn clips. It won’t actually be on sale until later this month—but this is one IOU you can probably get away with.

For the porn loving lovers: FyreTV: If your idea of a romantic evening is watching other people getting it on, than look no further than FyreTV this Valentine’s season. The discreet, Wi-Fi enabled box provides streams porn directly to your bedroom. And since their database of adult entertainment is constantly being updated, its definitely a gift that keeps on giving.

For the girl who has every (sex) gadget: Sasi: A few years ago, it seemed as though vibrator tech had pretty much reached its peak. Sure, you could make the batteries last longer, or switch up the pulse patterns, or find a funny new animal to stick on your toy—but for the most part, vibrator functionality was pretty much set. Vibrators were pieces of plastic that went inside the vagina or on top of the clitoris and vibrated. Maybe they twirled around a little, or had rotating pearls, but that was about the extent of their moving. Until the SaSi. With a revolutionary new method of stimulation, and programmable patterns, it’s the best thing to happen to vibrators since, well, the birth of the vibrator.

When money is no object: Lelo Inez: We used to think that JimmyJane’s $3250 Little Platinum Eternity was the height of luxury vibes—but that was before Lelo came out with Inez. The latest addition to the Lelo Luxe line, Inez will run you anywhere from $7900 (for stainless steel) to $10,500 (for gold plate). Money may not be able to buy you love—but giving someone a $10.5k vibrator will probably get you pretty far anyway.

Looking for a V-Day guide that’s a little less geeky? Don’t worry, we’ll have one for you tomorrow.

· Thumbnail: Faye “Valentine” Reagan gets into the holiday spirit (nubiles.net, via Ask Jolene)

It’s the first day of the new month–and we are so on the ball this time! Perhaps it’s because we’re always super-jazzed about turning the calendar page when October rolls around: Fall is in full swing, we can start planning our Halloween costumes, and we can practically taste those giants bags of candy that await us! Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that half of our senior editorial staff is celebrating birthdays this month (which we’re sure is just a coincidence). Or maybe we’re still feeling a little guilty that we gave September the fuzzy end of the lollipop. For whatever reason, there are plenty of sexy reasons to celebrate in the weeks ahead … especially if we make them sexy. So grab your toothbrush and start whooping it up for Dental Hygiene Month and more after the jump.

. . .

Computer Learning Month

A Series Of Sex “Tubes”

Dental Hygiene Month

Katrin Kozy: Toothbrush Babe
Toothbrushing video
Toothbrush Fetish: Paste Pumpers

Fire Prevention Month

Fountains Of Pleasure: A Tribute To Girls Who Squirt

National Cookbook Month

What’s Cookin’? Top Ten Kitchen Sex Videos

National Cookie Month
Naughty Girl Scout Misty Anderson (teenchickpics.com)

National Roller Skating Month

Crash Into Me: “RollerDollz” Really Satisfies

Pasta Month

Nikki Nova (redclouds.com)

National Chemistry Week (October 17th-23rd)

National School Bus Safety Week (October 17th-23rd)

The Magic School Bus

National Business Women’s Week (October 20th-26th)

Casual Sex Fridays

World Vegetarian Day (October 1)

Vagetarian Porn
How To: Make Your Own Veggie Vibrator
Flesh Flicks: Cucumber Love

World Teachers Day (October 5)

Higher Learning: Top Ten Classroom Sex Videos

National German-American Day (October 6)

Flesh Flicks: Got Milk Maids?

World Egg Day (October 8)

Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Bnaughty Vibrating Egg

National Angel Food Cake Day (October 10)

National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work and School Day (October 13)
Care Bear Sex (RedTube)
Teddy Babes

Be Bald and Be Free Day (October 14)

The Bald And The Beautiful: Shaved Head Girls Are Cool

No Beard Day (October 18)

Lesbians Shaving (RedTube)

National Mole Day (October 23)

Military Spies

Mrs. Ana Edson Taylor becomes first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and survive. (October 24)

Plush Animal Lover’s Day (October 28)

Hot Tail: Your Furry Schoolgirl Striptease Fantasy Finally Comes True

National Chocolate Day (October 28)
Mellie and Christine

Bring your Jack-O-Lantern to Work Day (October 29)

Pumpkin Porn

Halloween (October 31)

Our Last Halloween Post Ever (Promise!): Sluts Take Over Manhattan
Xanthia Doll (GothicSluts.com)
Scar @ Gothic Sluts

* * * * *

Previously: September Appreciation Month: It’s Never Too Late To Celebrate!

We have a confession to make–we blew it this month. We had meant to make our monthly holiday appreciation posts a first day kind of thing, but something about the holiday of Labor got into our heads and we guess we took that day off. Actually, there’s no excuse for this bout of lazy/forgetfulness–but thankfully, September is “Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month,” so you can’t complain. In the spirit of forgiveness and remembrance, however, we decided to honor all those days you missed out on over the past four weeks (while you still have a few hours left to enjoy them) and give you something to look forward to next year. As for October … well shoot, that’s tomorrow! Looks like we’ve got some work to do …

. . .

Library Card Sign-up Month

Flesh Flicks: File This One Away For Later

National Hispanic Heritage Month

Para Ti: Our Favorite Ladies Of Latin America
How Fuckable Is Your Country? Latin American Edition

Shameless Promotion Month

“Not Bewitched XXX”: More Hype Than You Can Twitch Your Nose At

Pleasure Your Mate Month

Marital Aid Test Kitchen

National Singles Week (September 15th-21st)

Masturbation

National Clean Hands Week (September 15th-21st)

Stories With A Happy Ending: Top Ten Massage Sex Videos

Anniversary of the premiere of “Star Trek” (September 8, 1966)

XXX Trek: Even The Klingons Are Afraid
Leonard Nimoy Boldly Defends Full-Figured Women
William Shatner Does Playboy

Bald is Beautiful Day (September 8)

The Bald And The Beautiful: Shaved Head Girls Are Cool

Wife Appreciation Day (September 9)

Mothers Know Best (Even If They’re Not Always Actual Mothers): Top Ten MILF Sex Videos

Video Games Day (September 12)

Ava And Mia Do “Halo 3″
Exclusive: Hannah Harper Does “Whorecraft”

National Student Day (September 16)

Higher Learning: Top Ten Classroom Sex Videos

Women’s Friendship Day (September 16)

Sapphic Erotica Galleries

Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19)

Talk Like A Pirate (Or Just Fap Like One)
Pirates II Coverage

Hobbit Day (September 22)
Flesh Flicks: Size Doesn’t Matter (Or Make Sense)

National Hunting and Fishing Day (September 25)
Flesh Flicks: Lesbians Ahoy!

Love Note Day (September 28)

Spice Up Your Sex Life The Cosmo Way

Chewing Gum Day (September 30)

Bubble Gum Porn: Chew On This

Rosh Hashanah (September 30)

The Chosen Ones: Jewish Girls In Porn

International Women’s E commerce Days (September 18th-21st)
Club Jenna, Teravision, Joanna Angel, Melissa Midwest, Baby Sinead, etc…..

* * * * *
Previously: August Appreciation Month: Hot And Sweaty, Just The Way We (Sorta) Like It

Over in the UK, someone has decided that today is National Orgasm Day–yes, already! Though it’s about as legit a holiday as National Cheesecake Day, it does have one thing going for it: a fancy press release chock full of findings from the 2008 Orgasm Survey, which we’re told is the UK’s biggest and most comprehensive female orgasm survey ever. It seems the study has even uncovered some groundbreaking and sort of shocking information, such as: women have g-spots! And they don’t always have orgasms during sex! And exercising those PC muscles really does help with orgasm!

We know that’s a lot to digest. So while you’re recovering from the shock of those revelations, we invite you to celebrate National Orgasm Day in a more traditional fashion: by watching some instructional videos about female orgasm. It may be a fake holiday–and a foreign one at that–but there’s no reason we shouldn’t celebrate it as well. Clips after the jump.

. . .

mega orgasm (haporn.com)

Orgasm School (redtube.com)

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To The G-Spot

Personal Touch: Exploring the “O”

· 2008 Orgasm Survey (orgasmsurvey.co.uk; press release here)
· Thumbnail from “I Make It Rain”

See also:
• G-Shoot Your Way To A Better Orgasm!
• Desiree Cousteau In “Randy The Electric Lady”: The Original Orgasm Addict?
• National Masturbation Month Isn’t Doing It Alone
• The G-Spot Is Real! Or Is It?

Did you know that July is National Bikini Month? (We actually thought that was every month, but we promise to make our two-piece swimwear posts extra special for the next 30 days or so.) As we learned back in May, pretty much every day is a reason to celebrate something—whether it’s National Ice Cream Day (July 18), National Lollipop Day (July 20), or National Chocolate Day (July 7). Some days even give you more than one reason to set off fireworks, like July 4th, which is both U.S. Independence Day and Independence From Meat Day. (“Where The Boys Aren’t, Volume 232“). That doesn’t even cover Canadian Independence Day, Restless Leg Syndrome Education and Awareness Week (July 18-25), Be Nice To New Jersey Week (aka “Give A Guido A Blowjob Before July 7″ Week), something called Wood Wagon Day (July 21; don’t ask), and Freedom From Fear of Public Speaking Day. You know, the day when you picture everyone you know naked. (It’s July 2.)

There’s even more where that came from below, but whatever day it is be sure to visit Fleshbot, where it’s always July 23. (aka “Too Hot To Handle” Day!)

. . .

Canada Day (July 1)

· Canadian porn stars (Wikipedia)

Cell Phone Courtesy Month

· iPhone Porn 2.0: Here We Go Again

· Flesh Flicks: Call Waiting

International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month

(Sorry we, thought that was International Blonde Month!)

· Blondes on Fleshbot

National Bikini Month

· Bikinis on Fleshbot

· Mariah Carey Is Always Tops On Our Charts

National Hot Dog Month

· Flesh Flicks: Hot! Dog!

· Olivia Munn’s Hot Beef Injection

Smart Irrigation Month

· Squirt Machines (And Other Urban Legends)

Nude Recreation Weekend (July 9th-15th)

· “America Swings”: We Like To Share

· “The Sunshine Club”: Vintage Nudist Video

Rabbit Week (July 15th-21st)

· Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Rosebud Vibrator: Does A Rabbit By Any Other Name Smell As Sweet?

Single Working Woman’s Week (July 29th-August 4th)

· Lost In Lust: Cherise Isis’ “American Stripper”

Be a Geek Day (July 14)

· Geek Girls Online: Where The L33t Meet

Women’s Motorcycle Month

· Flesh Flicks: Easy Riding

· Flesh Flicks: Uneasy Riders

Parents Day (July 22)

· “MILFStravaganza 4″: You Can MILF If You Want To

· Other Mommies

Gorgeous Grandma’s Day (July 23)

· Horny Grandmothers

· Omasex: Hot Grannies

· Calendar of Strange Holidays and Other Events to Scrapbook In July (families.com)