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Be Still Our Jessica Hart

You know what’s better than a cute pink bra and panty set? A cute pink see-through bra and panty set! Jessica Hart’s nipples in this bra are almost more pink than we can handle! And for those of you who hate on the color pink, just remember that pink is the color of many engorged pussies and diamond-hard nipples and winking assholes. Which is probably the real reason it’s associated with girliness.

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The Killer Is Inside All These Sexy Models!

Enjoy the sleazebag psycho photographer’s Frank Zappa mustache. Enjoy the non-too-subtle sexualization of the photographer-muse relationship. Enjoy the visual metaphor of the violence of the male gaze while enjoying your own male gaze! Enjoy gorgeous women in extravagant underwear! And enjoy your holiday!

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This Just In: Anja Rubik Too Hott, Needs To Cool Off

Not just any bottled water will do for Anja Rubik to pour all over herself at a low shutter speed so that we may gaze upon her toned body splashing and shimmering with refreshing liquid. No no. She must have special imported spring water blessed by monks and transmogrified from the blood of virgins. That’s how she keeps cool and she makes no apologies.

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Chanel And Ellen Make Sweet Art

The idea of the photographer-muse relationship being explicitly erotic is not new, but it’s presented in a playful and sexy way in this video by Ellen von Unwerth. The Chanel Iman is like the bottom writhing around and opening herself up and following orders; the male photographer is like the top with a big phallic camera really taking control.

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Undergarment Understanding

Bhutto dance is a really strange and awesome contemporary Japanese dance that usually involves some sort of abject weirdness. We’d like to imagine these strange and sexy images to be from a Bhutto performance. Maybe the model will snarl like a wild animal or throw baked beans on the audience or squat and pee in a pint glass and drink it with a squirt of lime.

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Hopelessly Devoted To Lingerie

Lingerie and bikinis. They look alike, and often they have similar effects on your eyes and loins while watching a lovely porcelain-skinned lady dance about in such get-ups. It’s really a difference in material.While we don’t mind ladies wearing a bikini in the bedroom or in a photoshoot, this video with the lingerie on the beach makes us nervous.

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Nadja Giramata Is Out Of Habit

Nuns. They’re married to the son of god. It’s a long distance relationship to say the least. He’s always away on business, so you know they’ve got to be real creative about entertaining themselves. Thus all the elaborate rituals and preoccupation with criticizing Julie Andrews’ free spirit, etc. But isn’t

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We Wanna Give A Minute Or Two To Give Much Respect To Cara Delevingne

ยท Via Fashionising (fashionising.com)

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Candice Swanepoel’s Eiffel Tower

We love the Eiffel tower on Candice Swanepoel, because it makes us think of the Eiffel tower as an enormous vagina looming over the people of Paris. We do sort of wish the tower were upsidedown so we could imagine it as a V laying across Candice Swanepoel’s vagina. And then we could imagine Candice Swanepoel’s vagina as an enormous vagina taking over Paris!

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Freja Beha Erichsen’s Armpit Star

Everyone knows the star tattoo is the millennial right of passage – it’s the butterfly tramp stamp for the alt set. But while many ladies have chosen to get nautical stars on their forearms or feet or bellies, Freja Beha Erichsen has one on her armpit.

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Karlie Kloss Is Adorbs

So Karlie Kloss is just wearing normal relaxed outfit like the rest of us mortals until she strips her mom jeans off to reveal the lingerie-clad vixen beneath and then dons a pretty pretty sundress, becoming a feminine ladyface again. Because gender is just a performance, or so we overheard at a party last night.

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Barbara Palvin Makes Granny Panties Look Better Than Thongs

Sometimes when you tear off someone’s clothes you’re really hoping to find some brightly-colored exciting underpants, but hey, if it’s Barbara Palvin’s clothes you’re tearing off we’re betting you won’t mind the muted coverage.

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What Are They Growing In That Greenhouse?

Well, if part of the idea of a greenhouse is to grow delicate plants in controlled environments, then it stands to reason that perfect babes could be cultivated in special gardens. Wouldn’t it be great to have carnivorous plants that looked like the ladies in this picture? Imagine them growing from inside a blooming bud! When they reach maturity, the bud will bloom and a lovely flowery seductive slut will emerge!

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Dorothy Bohner Gets Auto-Erotic

It’s Saturday evening, so we know you’re in the mood for some hip-hop pole gyrating. Also Dorothy Bohner feeling herself and being generally really sexy in a sexy car. And a sexy parking lot. Also what little clothing Dorothy is wearing is see-through, so there’s that. Do not try to interrupt Dorothy performing her important sensual ritual or tease her about her last name, because she will cut you with those shoes.

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Dirty Projectors!

You know when you have a projector screen and you are trying to pull it down from the ceiling and you already have to balance a stack of hardcover rare comics on top of a kitchen chair and still stand on your tip-toes because you’re sooo short and all of your friends that came over to watch Drag Race on your fancy projector are also all really short and you can’t quite figure out how to pull the screen down just right to keep it from catching or collapsing completely and you stand there like an awkward ballerina getting more and more frustrated? Maybe you should have just invited naked models over to project onto instead. Problem solved.

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Dollhouse Beachwear

You know when you just need something to wear whilst lounging around your little doll house that’s been built on the beach? We think we have the solution for you!

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Will The Real Karlie Kloss Boobs’ Please Stand Up?

Technically you never see Karlie Kloss and her boobs together in one shot of this video. Luckily we have plenty of evidence that this is what her boobs actually look like. We are nipple experts, and we can tell you just from the excited reaction they produce on our pants that these nipps definitely belong to the one and only Kloss. Besides, why would you get a body double if you’re built like Karlie Kloss?

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Marsida The Faery Warrior Princess In Her Natural Habitat

You can tell Marsida is magic – maybe even a spirtual faery warrior princess – by the weird witchy things she’s doing with her arms. And by her alternating between a jeweled headband and strange animal headgear. And the fact that being outside laying on a rock makes her want to touch herself.

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Sarah Stephens Keeps You In The Dark

Wouldn’t it be great if you could see in the dark and the only thing you could see was Sarah Stephens staring seductively at you and suggestively rubbing a metal pole and writhing about in her panties? Yes. Yes it would be great.

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No Bra Required

OMG, be still our hearts, we do so love seeing nipples pressed down ever so subtly by transparent material. Almost as much as we love seeing butts lounging on the couch (and the babes attached to the butts and nips of course of course).

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