Probably more than anything else, I value communication, both with my boyfriend (of course) and also with everyone who shares a vision of a more varied and accessible future for porn and sexuality in general. This week has brought an unprecedented amount of comments to Fleshbot, livening up every post with lots of back and forth, bringing new ideas, witty quips and thoughtful responses.
I was astonished at all of the wonderfully thoughtful questions that you came up with, so I just had to answer all of them. They range from short and sweet questions about my day-to-day to more evolved questions about relationship dynamics, so hopefully my responses will shed a little light on this lovely Friday!
Giving a great blowjob is certainly important. That’s why I talk about it so much and spend much of my life devoted to leading by example. Of course, these skills and ideas are transferable and hopefully mutual. That goes with out saying. Beyond that, there’s the other side of the coin. As much as it’s important to be a great giver of blowjobs (or any other kind of oral pleasure) it’s also extremely valuable to be a great recipient. There are only a few things I’m going to hit on here, which don’t go unduly into specifics, as those are up to the individuals, but they all warrant deference.
I have worked in sexuality in some way for many years and it feels like home to me because of my fluidity when it comes to adapting to and enjoying different sexual situations. My experiences have taught me a lot about myself, about my desires and limitations and I have come to understand how I can represent the full range of my sexuality.
The camera’s rolling. Somehow, this feels so different from when you take quick, coy snaps of me as I open myself for you or when you ask me to pose for you in the garden. I hear your breath, as heavy as mine. There’s a mix of arousal and the adrenaline you get from escalating nerves. This is it.
I want you to get nice and hard for me. As I feel my mouth make first contact with your cock, I get almost achingly turned on. Sometimes I just feel like I’m just made for giving blowjobs. My lips slide all the way down to the base and I lick at your balls, feeling them shift as my tongue works them over. When you put your hand gently on my head and my lips sliding work in tandem with your thrusts, I feel like we’re in perfect harmony. Together, we know each other so well and this delicious blowjob is a perfect representation of our bond.
People do generally like what I share online, but I invariably get comments like: “But, you’re a feminist!” What’s your point? Oh, that’s right… There’s a common misconception that blowjobs can’t be a feminist act. Let me clear that right up for you, because we wouldn’t want that nasty rumour taking root. The thing is, I’m a happy, powerful, successful and self-actualized woman who loves giving blowjobs… So much so that I chose to (among many other things) give them for a living. Because my niche is so obviously linked to the surface idea of one-sided pleasure, people assume I must be coerced, faking it or that I’m not getting any pleasure of my own either on or off-screen. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and I think that debunking these ideas is key to identifying blowjobs as a feminist sex act.
This excerpt is from Love & Kink – my newest book. It was my little attempt to describe how I actually do kinky things. The book is here on Amazon.
It might not be porn, but it is beautiful and it’s Katie West.
I first found out about Canadian picture taker, sometimes writer, K-pop enthusiast, redhead, cat lady – Mrs Katie West – through J. Scott Grand’s collection of short stories ”Trash & Vaudeville” where in some of her artwork where featured. Amazed and excited, I embarked on a internet adventure that took me to the far corners of the internet’s and to Warren Ellis, Flickr, Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube and Vimeo – Katie West is like internet famous, y’all.
I don’t have a lot to be envious about in life, but when I see Lilyanne squirt, I certainly get a twinge of jealousy. For all my passionate sexual exploration and love of sensuality and pleasure, I’ve never had much luck with squirting. There is something so intensely beautiful about watching a woman let loose with so much intensity… Maybe someday. For now, though, at least I can live vicariously through my beloved friend Lilyanne.
Over the years, I’ve struggled to explain exactly what kind of videos and photos I make. They’re certainly for adults, they’re very erotic in nature erotic, but I’d definitely also consider them to be porn. A lot of people balk about this, which I find somewhat confusing, but not necessarily surprising. Porn gets a bad reputation, invoking ideas of violence and degradation… Not that either of those things are necessarily bad at all, but people often assume that it’s non-consentual, which is definitely not okay. More than that, people assume things about the way porn is made, which may be a little closer to the truth…
Simplicity can be so erotic. When everything else is stripped away and all there is can be summed up with the two of us, that’s when magic really takes place. In the pale light of day, our bodies are on full display, framing this beautiful blowjob as it unfolds sensually before us. My lips on your cock, driving you mad with desire to feel the warmth of the depths of my mouth… This is a gorgeous moment and I want to milk it for all it’s worth. You watch my curves as I go through the various elements of a seductive but simple blowjob tease.
I feel like it’s somewhat unoriginal to just come here and declare my unending adoration for Dita von Teese, but it’s kind of hard not to. The thing is that I can contextualize and explain my love for her in a way which is (possibly) worth extrapolating upon. It’s not just because she has milky white skin, raven hair, perfect bow lips and a bountiful chest… Wait, what was I saying? Oh, right.
I’m not outrightly saying that blowjobs are my sole raison d’être… That seems kind of wrong to me. I have so many passions. I love to make music, to create art, to explore French cooking, to let loose and game a bit.. But, when it comes to something that I can share with you all on Fleshbot, nothing beats a little blowjob how-to. Now, this isn’t to say that I’m going to give you every little tip and trick under the sun, because I don’t fundamentally believe that blowjobs (or any sex act) are one size fits all. There is so much nuance and room for exploration when it comes to a truly sensual blowjob, so I just want to foster that kind of curiousity and creativity. Sounds ambitious? You bet.
Since I’ve been given the chance to share my voice here on Fleshbot, I thought I’d return the favor by offering some of you the chance to talk too. When I’m not maintaining my site or giving sensual blowjobs, I spend a fair amount of time writing, including for an advice column. While I certainly don’t claim to be an expert, I love tackling relationship and sexuality questions with whatever wisdom I have to impart, and I also love answering questions about the porn industry!
Now, I wouldn’t be much of a guest editor if I didn’t give away some fabulous prizes, would I? (That’s not a dig to any past guest editors, of course…) I figured that, since I’m here and I’m lucky enough to get to blather on about whatever I see fit, I might as well give something back…
It may sound kind of surprising as someone who shoots blowjobs for her site, but I think that showing female physical pleasure in porn is extremely important. There is room for lots of different niches, including the one I focus on, but I think that, when it comes to showing sex with women, showing a wide varieties of ways to include direct stimulation is so crucial. I love what Lilyanne and Max do to this end, making sure to show Lilyanne’s pleasure as being important and not entirely reliant on one form of sexual stimulation. Max is clearly great with his fingers and his mouth, but they’re also not afraid to take out the big guns and use the Hitachi Magic Wand. Seeing the blissful expression on her face with that undeniably powerful toy is pretty breathtaking.
Wow, I can’t believe that I’m actually here, addressing all of you. Usually I’m just a member of the peanut gallery, commenting on how hot the various photos sets, videos and glimpses of Christina Hendricks’ cleavage are… But here I am, guest editor of Fleshbot for the whole week! This is beyond thrilling. As someone who tries to stay humble, it was hard to not be emboldened by being chosen like this, especially after I’ve been named the 2012 Fleshbot Crush Object of the Year… I had to throw that in there. See what I mean? I promise to try not to get a big head, because that would make giving blowjobs a lot more difficult.