The whole ice bucket challenge has gone viral, been parodied and has gone beyond water (California is going through the worst drought in recorded history), but even I had not seen this most current mutation of the charitable self-serving event. Leave it to Olivia Wilde to find a new kink by substituting breastmilk for water.
Keira Knightley is many things, but one thing she is not is saddled with fake tits. No, those bee-stung pinkies are all hers, and I for one love those two with a passion. From their small but bulbous nips to their small swelling over an otherwise narrow, even boney, chest, they're just perfect the way they are.
Kate Moss on a yacht vacationing in Spain. Nothing unusual about that. Kate Mass in a bikini. Nothing unusual about that. Kate Moss smoking. Nothing unusual about that either. Nothing but sexiness, right? But what's sexier? Not that you have to decide, but it's something that keeps me up at night, flesh or vice, and you know what I mean by up.
Nicole Kidman is only one of the cover models Interview magazine uses to sell its September issue. The other editions feature Naomi Campbell, Keira Knightley, Amber Valletta, Lea Seydoux and Daria Werbowy, all shot by iconic fashion photographers. But Nicole's darkly erotic noir vampire series is by far the most provocative.
The bang is at the beginning of the short film, "The Girl in the Rubber Mask," but the whole 20-minutes is a creep-fest worth watching, especially if you like a lithe beauty in a big rubber gas mask and little else. Of course you do.
Maybe I should start watching "Pretty Little Liars," especially if Troian Bellisario and Ashley Benson are in it, for they're in my new list of hottest babes. That happened just now, as I stumbled upon this shot of the two of them fully nude and running down the asphalt road. Stumbled, because my hard-on got between my legs and tripped me up. So, be careful out there.
Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace is today's version of a renaissance woman. She is a British glamour model, a fashion designer, magazine columnist, actress and TV and media personality. Those things pass for accomplishment in our culture nowadays. But unlike, say Leonardo Da Vinci, Aisleyne expands her creative palette with some pant-less upskirts. Now that's a masturbation piece.
The gap-toothed Jessica Hart is a Down Under treasure chest of rich jewels and richer body parts. Victoria's Secret took notice and adding her to its lingerie campaigns and then I took notice, among other things, and I believe it's only fitting that she's about to take over the world. I bow to my new overlord.
Jennifer Nicole Lee is a fitness model and spokesperson for all sorts of motivational things, but if she wants to motivate my thing she doesn't have to speak at all. All this busty babe has to do is pose without a bra in a tight, cut-off T-shirt and a pair of skimpy panties. Now I'm motivated.
Remember when models were reed thin and titless? Yeah, neither do I. We're lucky to live in a time when the full-figured woman has come back in style, as if she ever was out, and Rosie Jones is one of the fullest of the full-figured babes who has made a name for herself topless on the pages of The Sun's Page 3. And now she's topless again!
Amanda Cerny, who are you? You're a goddess that much I can see. You're body is the kind I'd like to explore with my tongue. I'm not used to seeing a woman of your build and beauty, and I make my living by looking at women all day long. All I can say is, wow.
Jessica Alba must have something in the works, because I've been seeing her pop up in all sorts of mass media lately, which is making me pop up in all the right places. Take Maxim, please! The struggling girlie rag is working on getting its circulation numbers back up, and this photo shoot with Jessica is likely to get something up (sorry, two boner puns in one paragraph).
Jessica McNamee sounds like a pseudonym, one of those names you make up on the spot if you're not good at making up names on the spot. It's sounds like a spoof and a put-on, but in fact it's a put-off, as in Jessica McNamee put off her bikini top and posed to prove it.
When Helen Flanagan wears bras around the house, she wears bras around the house, or something. I don't know. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a clown. I'm not here to make you laugh. I'm here to direct you to that hard place in which you'll pleasure yourself and feel good for a moment and then bad for the rest of the day. Enjoy.
Helen Hunt is a big star. She doesn't need to kowtow to some charity to get the Internet all a-buzz about her. No, sir. This lady can just get behind her SUV in a bikini on a hot summer day and pour water all over her still-wonderfully sexy body and I'll look. In fact, I'll do more than look.
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